Ask A Romance Specialist: Lube Tips, Anal for Beginners & More

Ask A Romance Specialist: Lube Tips, Anal for Beginners & More
POSTED ON August 24, 2017

Hey lovers! We’re back to answer all of your most intimate questions. From anal play to elusive orgasms, the solutions to your problems are provided below. Ask your own question right here or simply by clicking on Ask A Romance Specialist at the top of the page!


What's the best anal plug for beginners? - Melinda

Anal play can be a bit intimidating when you’re first starting out. But have no fear, anal plug guidelines are here! First off, don’t be nervous. When we’re nervous, we tend to tense up. Everywhere. That’s no good when you’re trying to enjoy anything anal. Next, start off small. We suggest using anal beads, like our Sassy Anal Beads, since they start off small, but include bigger beads when you’re ready to take it up a notch.

For those who want to really go all in and try an actual plug, we suggest considering the different sizes first. Don’t go too big or else you’re stuck with a size that won’t feel the greatest. We love our Pink Pleasure Gemstone Anal Plug Set because it offers three different sizes, so you can pick and choose the one that feels the best to you. The gemstone on the end of each makes anal play a little more glamorous, too.

My boyfriend and I want to use more lube when we're having sex but there seem to be a lot of options and we're not sure where to start. Can you explain some of the differences between lubes and if some are better to use than others depending on what you're doing? - Lulu

Let us start by saying, lube is awesome, and we think more couples should try it. Not only does it make penetration easier and more comfortable, it can actually prevent painful tears in bodily tissues, which can lead to infections. It’s important to know which kinds work best for each couple’s specific needs, though.

You’ll find three main kinds of lube: oil, silicone, and water-based. Oil-based lube has the thickest consistency and tends to be less irritating than others. However, this kind of lube destroys latex, so it’s not compatible with latex condoms. Silicone-based lube is extremely slick, but lasts the longest. It is not recommended when using silicone toys since it can ruin the material and create irritation from use. Lastly, water-based lube tends to be the friendliest form of lube out there. While it can dry out quickly and gets pretty sticky, it’s compatible with both toys and condoms. We highly recommend the Jo H2o Lube, which is water-based but feels like silicone and it contains only 5 ingredients.

Similar to skincare products, some people will be more sensitive or even allergic to certain lubes. For those with allergies or sensitivities, it’s best to stick to lubes with minimal ingredients. Test out the lube on the back of your hand or your arm to see if any irritation occurs. If so, chances are it won’t feel great on your genitals, either.

For plenty of lube options, check out our new and best-selling lubricant sections to find the perfect lube for you.  

Me and my partner have sex quite a bit and I enjoy what he does and how it feels but I never cum. He's starting to think it's him and I try to tell him it's not. What is wrong with me or what can I do to fix this? - Sophia

More often than not, the reason we can’t seem to finish is because we’re distracted, not physically comfortable, or trying too hard. Foreplay is super important for women, too, because it’s preparing us for sex.

If you’re immediately jumping into sex without foreplay, chances are your body really isn’t ready and it’s holding you back from climaxing. You won’t finish if you’re not comfortably enjoying it, and the same rule applies when you’re overthinking everything, as well. Start by trying to clear your head, taking some deep breaths, and then getting into the moment and relaxing.

When push comes to shove, the truth is that you know how to get yourself off, so you might have to show your man what works best for you. Try putting on a show for him by touching yourself and showing him what really hits the spot. Then grab his hand and move it at the speed, pressure, and pace you like. He’ll love the forwardness and you’ll love the outcome.

We LOVE hearing from you, so don’t be shy – ask us any of your intimate questions! If you want to make it a little more personal, feel free to visit any of our Lover’s Lane locations to ask our in-person Romance Specialists. Make sure to check out all the sex toys for her, for him, and for couples while you’re there!

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