An Exposé on Kissing


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Unlike sex, good kissing is way way way more about passion than technique, not to say sex isn’t about passion, but kissing is more-so. Also, techniques are important for kissing just not as much as in sex.

However, I’m still going to give you some techniques for good kissing: moderate tongue, no teeth (unless they’re into that), biting the lower lips can be super sexy but not everyone is into it, hand placement can make or break a kiss, and close your eyes. Now for the two most important tips: don’t slobber on them & don’t overthink it.

Going back to hand placement, everybody has their own preferences, but the most common ones seem to be: the hair (not pulling on it), the face/cheek, the upper back, and the small of the back. Gently caress them in your arms and hold them close. If it feels right, let your hands explore. A firm butt touch/grab at the right time can do wonders.

One important note, in a broader sense more than just kissing, is I can only give general advice. None of this is 100% guaranteed to be a panty-dropper, or a fool-proof plan to get in his pants, or even turn them on. Everybody is different. However, ALL of this is solid honest advice. I would never even think of misleading you dear reader. Now back to kissing. If you’re in a new relationship or on one of the first couple dates with a new person and don’t know what to do these can be great tips. Just go easy on the tongue.

If you really want to know what your partner prefers then the absolute best way to figure that out is to ask them and talk about it. It may not be the most comfortable conversation but it’s one that needs to happen, and it’s better to talk about what you too like in intimate settings over bills, debt, kid’s activities, and what happened at work. Sadly your work is probably not as interesting as mine (it might be though), so talk about what turns you on and your alone time will be so much better.

Also, seeking consent is HOT!! The “Can/May I kiss you?” is the very beginning of foreplay. Sometimes it’s better to read their body language and go in for the smooch without words. Other times it’s good to ask because it builds up the sexual/romantic tension and it only gets steamier from there. Plus, it can feel really good to know that someone is dying to kiss you and accepting/rejecting them is all part of the fun.

One of my personal favorites, and I will admit this happens a lot more in the movies than it does it real life probably, is when someone is talking, usually ranting, and to make them stop, their significant other or crush kisses them. There’s something comedic and romantic about it, like “Hey you, I know what you’re saying, and I do like/love you, but you need to stop talking so I’m just going to kiss you.”

Here’s another thing, have good hygiene and good breath; nobody wants to kiss anybody who smells. One of the few, maybe only, exceptions to this is kissing right before, during, and/or after morning sex because chances are you just woke up and your breath is inevitably terrible, but you’re having morning sex so deal with it and love on them anyways. Remember, you have it too. Good whole body hygiene is vital for your own personal health and well-being but especially for smooching that cutie.

Most of all, BE GENTLE, there’s a difference between being unnecessarily aggressive and so into your partner that things heat up and speed up, the latter of which is infinitely better. Being passionate doesn’t necessarily mean being rough. You can be rough and passionate, but you don’t have to be rough to be passionate. Some people like a tender gentle lover. The real question is: what does your partner prefer?

During my internet travels, I found some fun facts about kissing and thought you might like them:

If you tell someone they’re a good kisser, regardless if they actually are or aren’t, they’re likely to get better just from your saying that.

Consistent habitual kissing over a long period of time is shown to increase one’s lifespan by years.

Continuing on with our wonderful exposé, just because someone pressed their lips against yours doesn’t mean they want to bone. Kissing is the warm up/gateway to a lot of other things. For example, making out, a relationship, a happy long term relationship, a second/third/fourth date, or even sex (oral, anal, and vaginal) but this is more frequent for couples. Like I said above, they may be kissing you just to get you to stop talking.

Be present in the kiss, don’t be thinking of other things. A good kiss requires 100% focus. You can think about your grocery list, laundry, or whatever else it is later. Would you want to be having sex with somebody if they’re on their phone the entire time scrolling through social media? No! So don’t distract yourself during kissing, and you will be a better kisser. Kissing is way more important than most people think; don’t let it become routine/boring. It’s a small reminder of your love and affection in a big way. Even if it’s just a peck on the cheek before work in the morning or before you fall asleep at night.

This last one kind of goes back to our After Sex Etiquette article, most women want to be kissed before, during, and after sex, especially after as it builds up the romance, intimacy, and love between you two. This really isn’t that difficult either. Think about it this way: the love of your life is lying on you, next to you, or near you, probably naked and you two just made love. All you have to do is plant your lips on them, anywhere, but it’s probably going to be the lips, cheek, or forehead. This is the love of your life we’re talking about! Why wouldn’t you want to kiss them more often? Kiss on!

-The Intimacy Advisor

the author

a Former Author