Ask A Romance Specialist: Anal, Enhancements, & More

Ask A Romance Specialist: Anal, Enhancements, & More
POSTED ON June 5, 2019

This month is a TELL ALL! Our Romance Specialist is answering 12 questions in this article alone, more than any other article before! From anal & enhancements to libido & lube, read on to see what's going on.


Do female enhancements work and what are some risks? -Nora

Yes, female enhancements do work. Everyone is different though so one enhancement might work wonders for someone and that same enhancement can do little for someone else. This is why I'll suggest a few different kinds of enhancements so you

Some enhancements give people headaches but the Pink Pussy Cat doesn't due to its 100% formula. Now you can experience female satisfaction for maximum arousal!

If you have more sensitive skin I would not recommend this one for you, but if you want more of a physical sensation to get you going then the Nipple Nibblers are a great choice. It's a cooling balm meant to heighten sensitivity, so if you're already super sensitive you probably don't want to be even more so, however you may be into that.

Rock On Passion is a liquid shot specifically designed to kick your sex drive into high gear! If you want to have a more sensual sensory experience then you might might to Rock On 😉

What's the best enhancer for a smaller penis? Also, what's your recommendation for softer strap-on toys that my wife can use on me? -Troy

So Troy, I guess the question comes down to if you're looking for a penis pump or an extension. You can check out our Pumps & Extensions section to see what suits your fancy. Depending how big you are, you might want to go for the HydroMax5 or for extensions there's the Sono No.32.

Along the lines of softer strap-on toys, I've got four different recommendations for you. First the 7in Hollow Strap On with Balls you could use this on your wife as an extension or she could you this on you if you're into larger dildos. Second is the Strap-On Vamp Kit. The Vamp dildo is perfect for those with beginning and intermediate experience who play with strap-ons. The super soft silicone gives a luxurious texture to make the ride even more amazing. If you want your wife to be pleasured while she pegs you then the Me2 rumble - Mutual Stimulation Strap-On is a must-have. My fourth and final recommendation is a realistic dildo with a little more pizzazz. The Naturally Yours 6-Inch Glitter Cock is made to replicate an actual penis, minus the glitter of course, in length, girth, and shape.

What do you have for prolonging an erection? -Dave

I guess my question back to you is, is the problem staying hard or lasting longer till orgasm? I think the two are pretty inter-related so here's some suggested that should help you across the board:

Ching-A-Ling,Prolong Plus, Powerect Cream, Dragon Virility Cream, & Male Genital Desensitizer

Where is the best place to find a girlfriend? -Paul

Isn't that always the age old question Paul. Honestly man, try to avoid the bar & club scene. Getting your friends to introduce you to someone, preferably in a group setting, is the best way to meet a potential girlfriend because then you instantly have more credibility & likability with them. There's also going to be a lot less awkwardness and pressure because the two of you are in a group. Otherwise, you can meet someone anywhere, just be careful how you approach someone because you don't want to appear creepy and give off the wrong vibes.

I would like to host a sex you party at my house and was wondering if you had any recommendations of party people that would educate me and 8 of my girlfriends of the different products. -Sandy

While we don't have party people we know of to send out to people's homes. You could start at someone's house for a girl's day then make your way to one of our 35 stores where another Romance Specialist would be more than happy to educate you on all the different products.

Hello, I am a single female and I have two guys I have sex with. But I'm not seeing them separately, we have threesomes!! I need panties with the clitoris and the booty out for easy stimulation and entry for double penetration. I like vaginal penetration and anal penetration. Do you have any lube for anal that smells good? Because my partners like licking my butt hole and vagina. I will appreciate your help. -Aly

That is quite the question! I appreciate the fact that you know what you want, and you're not afraid to speak up about it! That's something not a lot of people have or can do. Ok, now to get into things, you definitely came to the right spot! There's TONS of flavored lube you and your two guy friends can choose from. Salted Caramel, Mocha Java, & Cinnamon Bun are some of the top flavors. As for crotchless panties, we have a HUGE collection but here's three of my top recommendations: the Crotchless Open Back Heart Panty, the Lurex Lace Open Back Panty, and the Applique Cupless Bra & Crotchless Panty. The hardest choice here is which lube to pick and which panty is your favorite? Once you choose, it'll be all fun and games from there 😉 Get it girl!

My husband loves role reversals where I transform him into a female with lingerie, makeup, etc. I'm the more dominant one, and I enjoy it but I'd like to get more into it for him. Are there any movies, card / board games or anything to make it more exciting for me? -Kay

Yes! There is Kay, and you're in luck! The Erotixxx Board Game tempts you both of you to orgasm but the goal is to last as long as you can. It'll be especially spicy once you mix it in with role reversals. Make your domination and role reversals even dirtier with the Dirty Deeds Game! First to 100 points wins and gets to pick the "Doing the Deed" card. As for instructional movies, Sizzle Turn Ons Volume 2 Dvd is proably your best best that or Going Down and dominate him by sitting on his face.

Any tips for first time p-spot players? My boyfriend told me he’s used prostate toys in the past and has enjoyed them, so I’d like to try maybe a finger or two? I’m also weirdly nervous to try for some reason, as I’ve never actually done any sort of anal play on a partner before. What positions and techniques would you recommend for this? -Jane

Hey Jane, I get that. Sticking something up a butt, whether that's yours or a partner's can be nerve-racking. We think of the butt as an exit-only part of the body so thinking of something that goes in is counter-intuitive. However, it's ok. I have two recommendations for you. One's a book and one's a DVD guide. Help him become the multi-orgasmic man with The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure Book and if you need the doctor's advice there's Dr. Ava's Guide to Prostate Pleasure DVD.

Our 20th anniversary is coming soon and we will be taking a cruise.  We have had a long hard road with our intimacy and sex life.  We struggled for 5 years to have kids and that all but destroyed our sex life.  We are just starting to get it back after 3 years.  I watched the 50 shades movies recently and they had a toy that I really want to try but I don't know what it is.  It was a series of balls that he put in her vagina that remained there during dinner.  I think this would be a great thing to try.  What is this product? -Andy

Congrats on the 20 year anniversary! That's great man, super pumped for you and your wife. I think you're thinking of kegel balls/ben wa balls my man! Here's some personal recommendations: the Fun Factory uno or duo smart balls. The Ami Pelvic Fitness Weights are our top rated product of its kind.

How do I get my wife to be more active in the bedroom? -Jon

So Jon, I'm still going to give you an answer, but your question has a lot of crossover with Kal's question from the February segment of "Ask A Romance Specialist" so check that out too.

Your wife's lack of activity in the bedroom could be the result of a lot of things. Her libido could be really low. Maybe she doesn't feel as beautiful as she use to. People often accept the love they think they deserve. When was the last time you treated her? It doesn't have to be something big but a love note in the lunch box, a real passionate kiss before she leaves for work and hold her close (she probably has ten seconds to spare for a good smooch), maybe you make dinner, or how about a massage? When was the last time you to went out on a date? Or had a weekend getaway together? I don't know if you have kids, but they can get in the way of that. The good news is there's babysitters, and family/friends that might even watch them for free. If you want your wife to be more active in the bedroom, then you have to take the first step to spice it up for her.

Girlfriend and I want to have anal. We had lube, but I couldn’t get it in her butt. What can we do to get her loose? -Kevin

Definitely don't try to jam your way in, never a good idea. The path to anal especially for first time anal adventurers is arguably the slowest process in the bedroom when done right. The first step is to make sure she's turned on. Start with foreplay. Maybe you kiss your way down to her butt. Then try playing with her butthole for a bit. Rub the outside, then lube up your finger and slowly insert it just enough so the tip is barely inside. Now, with your other hand you can, and probably should, rub her clit. After your finger sits there for a little bit push it in further make sure it's still lubed up, and let it sit there for another period of time. Use your fingers to explore more of her body. Just because the clit is pleasure central doesn't mean you should ignore the rest of her body. If she's into double penetration then try fingering her. If she likes to be spanked, then spank her. Maybe you just grab a butt cheek or a breast. If you go from the breasts make sure you play with the nipple and the whole boob not just one or the other. Your finger in her butthole should help it to relax at least somewhat. At some point you'll want to remove your finger, make sure your penis is lubed up and then gently insert the head and let it sit there. Pretty much repeat the same process you did with your finger with your penis. Take things slow and continually ask her how she's feeling. The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, The Anal Sex Position Guide, Dr. Ava's Guide to Anal Sex for Women are great references too!

My girlfriend of over 3 years has told me that she does not enjoy sucking penis nor does she want to try swallowing. Is there any way of convincing her to try or should I leave it alone? -Jamie

Leave it alone man. DO NOT try to convince her to swallow or even give you oral. Put your own desires aside and focus entirely on her. Do you know what her hot-spots are? Do you know what really turns her on? Do you know what she fantasizes about? When was the last time you gave her oral? Did she enjoy it? Have you ever given her oral? Do you know what her favorite sex positions are? When was the last time you indulged her desires? Here's the single best way to get people to do what you want them to: You do everything they want to do and never complain, whine, ask for anything in return. But don't just do everything she wants and secretly hope she'll suck you off because of it. Being a good lover isn't this for that. It's not transactional. I know few people that enjoy giving oral, there are some out there, but they're rare. However, a lot of people do it because they know they're partner enjoys it. She's more likely to suck your dick if she feels sexually satisfied and wants to reciprocate.

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