Ask A Romance Specialist: Hot Sex & Spicy Lingerie

Ask A Romance Specialist: Hot Sex & Spicy Lingerie
POSTED ON January 15, 2019

The wait is over! It's time for the next Ask A Romance Specialist article. If the winter has cooled down your sex life then read on. We've got the secrets to turn your playtime into a steamy adventure. Whether you're looking for the magic switch to spice everything up or how to feel good in that seductive outfit, the answers lie below ;)


My fiance and I have had the same sex routine for two years and we want to spice it up. I just don't know where to start... We are both Scorpios so it should be crazy wild sex but I'm afraid that we both got a bit boring by having the same sex routine. Help. -Stephanie

Help is here! This is a great question Stephanie. As Scorpios you should be having the best sex ever, and the good news is I have some good strategies to help you get back to that. I'll list them right now and then touch on a couple of them: roleplay, couples toys, new lingerie, new positions, impact play, restraint play, temperature play, anal play, pegging, massage, enhancements, cock rings, edging, bottoming from the top, topping from the bottom, etc.

Couples toys- The Couples Rabbit & The We-Vibe Sync are both great examples of couples toys. Both give unbelievable amounts of pleasure for him and her that are sure to satisfy, but toys in general are good to use during sex. It might feel weird the first one or two times, but you will never look back whether you use a wand, plug, a dildo for double penetration, a clitoral vibe, or whatever it may be.

New Positions- There's more sex positions out there than even I know about, and over the course of writing this blog, I've seen A LOT of them. The best way to learn about them is to read about them, or see them if you're a visual learner. But don't just google "sex positions" because then you open up a whole can of worms. We have tons of great books and articles for great sex positions. If you're into bondage there's "Tantalizing Fun: Bondage Tape, Rope, & Restraints" and "All About Sex Furniture" on the other hand there's more in "Dirty Details: Tips & Tricks for His Pleasure" and "The Complete Guide to Female Pleasure & Passion" which has the link below.

Massages & Enhancements- Enhancements are all of the gels, balms, and creams that make your pleasure explode. A lot of them are great to heighten oral sex like Pro-Blo or Penis Play Cream. Besides intercourse, a good massage can be one of the most erotic activities out there. Think about, you have your partner, naked, lying face-down or face up on the bed, and you put your hands all over them, and you rub deep into the tissues, especially with a good massage oil? Time to open a window and let out all that steam.

I have a great girlfriend, she's actually everything I've ever wanted in a partner but I never seem to pleasure her enough in bed. She says it's no big deal but it really annoys me. How can I pleasure her more? -Jack

Jack, you're in luck because we have a whole article, The Complete Guide to Female Pleasure & Passion, dedicated to the secrets of unlock your lady's pleasure. I don't want to re-write that article so here's the section headers: Arouse Her Emotionally, Talk & Listen, Direct Clitoral Stimulation, Going Down like a Sexpert, Diversify Stimulation, Vary Depth of Penetration, Find a Good Rhythm, Switch Positions, Female Favorites, Different Orgasms - Different Pleasure, The Cuddle After-Party.

So I’m a lesbian and my girlfriend and I are looking to spice things up in the bedroom. We wanted to start using a strap, but can’t decide on one. Any thoughts? -Kelly

Yes! I have TONS of thoughts. There's about five that came to mind, and it really comes down to what kind of sensations and feelings you want. The Colours Silicone Dong is great if you want something realistic, the Mio Girthy Dong, and the Temptasia Reina Dildo are probably the best for just starting off with strap on play, and the last two even offer some good g-spot stimulation. If you're looking for more texture or something a bit different than the traditional phallic shape, then I'd recommend the Ai Luxe Silicone Dong or Echo Premium Silicone Vibrator.

When you have the perfect dildo then you can pick out the perfect harness. Some of my top of the line picks are the Plus Size PVC Corsette Harness or the Vac-U-Lock Platinum Corset Harness. There's a lot more strap-ons and harnesses than what I've listed, and if you want more information or just to see everything that's available to you check out our Strap-On Play page.

I am very self-conscious about my body, how can I get over the body shaming and wear the sexy outfits and feel good? -Kay

Hey Kay! Don't worry, you're definitely not the only one with this problem. A lot of people actually have a sub-par self-image no matter how polished their outwardly mask looks. One of the most important things is to not compare yourself to anyone else. You can only control three things: what you think, what you say, and what you do. As scary as it might be, everything else in life is out of your control. This is why it is so important to only think, say, and do positive things. Focus on the positive parts of you, even if you think that's just 1%, keep your mind off the 99%. Tell yourself that you look good and you love yourself. There's a great Lingerie guide from last June that explains each different kind of lingerie so you can see what you may like, but I'll leave a couple different recommendations with varying styles with some links below for you!

Sexy From Every Angle Babydoll                                                              Eyelash Lace Bra & Short Set

Lace-Up Front Garter Bodystocking                                                         Earth Angel Bustier

Shirley Ruffle Lace Chemise                                                                      Not So Shy Robe Set

Sheer Pleasure Teddy                                                                                 Matte & Net Lace-Up Back Dress

HOTTEST POSTS TRENDING NOW