Ask A Romance Specialist: Role Play & Tantalizing Toys

Ask A Romance Specialist: Role Play & Tantalizing Toys
POSTED ON March 1, 2019

It's time for you to get your answers! We got a lot of good questions so our Romance Specialist has a lot to say this month. Scroll on down and stay tuned for more dirty details!


I'm a quick shooter. I've tried male enhancement pills but they make me sick. I have used a lotion but I can't find that product anymore. What can I do? -Jimmy

Among other things, try using thicker condoms. It'll lessen the stimulation and make you last longer to please your partner, and be sure to use a good lube so the condom is less likely to break. You could also masturbate more. The continual increased stimulation doesn't desensitize your penis but should enable you to last longer. This might sound odd, but you can practice with a stroker. The longer you last with one of those, the longer you'll last during the real deal, unless they're just THAT good 😉

If you're looking for a product specifically designed to help you last longer, then you've got a couple options. The fan favorite is the Shunga Male Genital Desensitizer. Here's some of the comments: " My husband has always had problems lasting as long as I'd like him to, but with this product we can go all night!" or "Thank you Lover's Lane for selling this! We have tried everything on the market to make him last longer and nothing really has worked like we wanted it to except this." As great as Shunga is, the Edge Delay Gel for Men is worth trying out. It gives you more control and helps you last longer when it really matters.

I have always wanted to try out vibrating panties but all of the reviews I have seen says the better ones are too loud or not worth the price. Any options you recommend or something else to try? My bf is quite vanilla so I want something to spice up our sex life. -Barb

The good new is there's a lot of difference options. Along the lines of remote control play, you don't necessarily need a pre-made vibrator and panty duo, although there are good choices with those despite some reviews. For example the Secrets Side-Tie Remote Vibrating Panty is a good one. What you may be looking for is simply a good remote controlled vibe that comfortably fits with in your panties. The Sensuelle Remote Control Petite Egg is small and discreet with 15 different functions that works from 30 feet away. If you really want to spice things up then you could use a vibrating butt plug instead. As for which panties to wear, any normal panty should work, but boyshorts generally have more material so they're more likely to hold a toy better.

Outside of vibrating panties, role play is a great way to invigorate your sex life. It doesn't have to be anything major like bondage, in fact you don't even really need costumes to start if you don't want to. If your boyfriend is apprehensive about the idea, then all you really need to start off is some super sexy shorts and a bra top or a swim suit top. This will catch their eye and from there the two of you can act like you don't know each other and you're flirting for the first time. There's nothing wrong with using costumes for role play, in fact it can feel amazing to live out a fantasy. Whether that's a passionate night with a cute country girl or something a bit darker.

This is my first time buying any adult toys. I'm 42 years old and in the middle of a divorce. What would be a great first toy for myself who’s never had an orgasm? -Nickie

Clitoral and g-spot stimulation are probably going to be your best bets to have an orgasm. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm at all, and while it might feel weird leading up to a g-spot orgasm, they can be an explosion of pure pleasure. Here's five top notch toy recommendations to help you have your first orgasm:

Laya II - Probably the most versatile toy on this list. It works great as a clitoral stimulator as its shape is designed specifically to give you the most pleasure possible, plus an initial charge lasting 6 hours means you can have fun all night long!

Satisfyer Pro 2 - This toy hands out orgasms like they're going out of business, but you'll be getting it on for a while. One especially satisfied fan says: "Best toy I have ever bought! guaranteed mind blowing orgasms- 2 or 3 in a Row is not unusual and I normally have a hard time getting there, you will not regret this."

Volta - Fun Factory out did themselves with this one. The vibrating tips stimulate the clitoris and labia increasing blood flow and sensitivity which ultimately drives your pleasure through the roof. Go from zero to the big O unlike ever before and enjoy the whole experience.

Miss Bi - Now we transition more into the world of g-spot stimulation, but thanks to the rabbit design of this tantalizing toy, the clitoris still gets its fair share of attention. What it lacks in length it makes up for in girth, giving you a nice full feeling and quality g-spot sensations.

We-Vibe Rave - We-Vibe really knocked it out of the park with the Rave, but you don't have to take my word for it, here's a couple people raving about the Rave: "The shape of this is incredible- right on top of the gspot its crazy how hands free this is in just about any position it does an amazing job. The vibration is CRAZY strong!" -Gwen & "I'm in love!!! yes with a toy! The strength of the vibrations are insane and gets the job done it gives that fullness once in side and presses on all the right spots with its defined edges." -Nadia

Hi! So my fiance and I have been together for a little over 5 years now and we sometimes find ourselves in the same old routine, intimacy-wise. He's not keen on the idea of role play, not even reenacting our first date or the first time we met…what might be the best way to warm him up to the idea? Thanks! -Kai

I think a lot of my second paragraph response to Barb applies to you too Kai. If you're fiance isn't that excited about role play then you might just have to start slower and gradually warm him up to the idea. Seeing one's fiance in scant clothing is sure to put them in a good mood, from there you could strip for them, make them strip you, or whatever you two want to do from there.

Aside from role play, giving massages and playing games are a phenomenal way to reignite your intimacy. Massages, especially with some good mood lighting and maybe even some rose petals, are the picture of romantic, intimate, and sensual. Plus with the entirety of Lover's Lane's massage collection available to you, you're bound to have a wonderful time and make lots of steamy memories. Games are good for something new and different to breath life and romance back into any relationship, especially Secret VII.

However, one of the best ways to get the intimacy back and blossoming in your life is continuing to date each other. Reenacting old ones is a great way to stir up old sparks, and it works wonders for a lot of couples but I'd also recommend going out on new dates. Get all dressed up and go somewhere and do something together. It doesn't have to be dinner, although a dinner date is a timeless classic. What does your fiance like to do? What activities (outside the house) put him in a good mood? Which ones put you in a good mood? Go do them!

It's always a good time answering your questions here on Intimacy Advisor so please keep them coming!

HOTTEST POSTS TRENDING NOW