Ask A Romance Specialist: Threesomes, Voyeurism, & More

Ask A Romance Specialist: Threesomes, Voyeurism, & More
POSTED ON February 4, 2019

Time for your questions to be answered! We keep getting in a lot of good questions, so please keep them coming, because you never know who has the same question but is too shy to ask, even over the internet. Let's get into the dirty details ;)


How do I initiate a threesome? -Mary

Communication. That's the short answer, now here's the long answer. The only thing you really have to do is ask people, but don't just walk up to somebody in the grocery store, or anywhere in the general public, and say "hey, want to have a threesome?" That's a bad idea. If you're a part of a couple, the two of you might want to approach a close friend and ask. If you're single, try going to a swinger's club or maybe you joke about it with your best friend and then they confide in you they've always wanted to try one so the two of you quietly look for a third.  Now, you probably won't get the first two people you ask, then again, you might, but you'll never know until you try.

It's important to set limits or boundaries beforehand, especially if you're in a couple. Should the third person be open to everything, like kissing, oral sex, anal & vaginal penetration? Will they be the penetrated, the one penetrating, or maybe neither. Will they even be completely naked? It's all up in the air. After you have two more people interested in a three way, get together, get naked, and just start kissing each other and see where things go from there, but respect the boundaries.

My girlfriend wants me to have sex with her gay friend. I am interested in this, but have some concerns about safe sex. Should I use a condom even if he has proof of being clean? -KJ

Yes, any time you are in doubt or have to question whether or not to wear a condom, it's best to wear a condom. Unless you and your partner have both decided that you want a child, or multiple, it's always a good idea to wear a condom. The majority of condom failures are due to not enough lube, so make sure you lube up too. Be sure to put on a new condom if you're switching from anal to vaginal.

What can I do to make my wife want me more -Kal

If your wife doesn't want you as much as she used to, there can be a wide variety of reasons for that.  It might be because she's not as attracted to you as she used to be, now that's not to say she doesn't love you anymore, but as time goes on people can fall into a rut. It may not be all you, maybe her sex drive took a nose dive? Maybe she's a lot more tired these days so she doesn't quite have the energy you two did when you were newlyweds. If your wife wants her sex drive back then I'd recommend Pink Pussycat. It's made to boost her libido and help create powerful orgasms.

When was the last time you treated her? This could be anything: doing her chores for a day, taking her out to a nice dinner just the two of you, taking a moment to say "I Love you" and kiss her like you've never kissed her before, or mind-blowing oral sex, maybe she likes presents, when was the last time you got her one that wasn't for a holiday, birthday, or anniversary? What's her love language? You might want to check out our "The Importance of Intimacy" article.

Along the lines of attraction and intimacy, you should invest in some pheromones. Confidence by Eye of Love is made to help attract women so you're wife will be spell bound by your heavenly scent. Combine that with dressing sharper, just being happier, and I bet your wife will start wanting you more pretty soon.

If you two really want to add a special flare to things, both of you would have to be ok with and consent to this, but one way to potentially make her want you more is for her to watch you be intimate with another woman, maybe while even pleasuring herself and then making it a threesome. Threesomes and multi-partner sexual encounters are not for everyone, but voyeurism, being pleasured by watching someone who is naked and/or engaging in sexual activity, can be a powerful catalyst.

My wife wants me to dress up like a girl for her birthday. What do I wear? -Brandon

Hmm, sounds like your wife wants to engage in a lesbian fantasy. Well for starters, girls wear bras and panties so I would recommend those. We have some really cute ones like the Pull Out All the Stops Skirt Set or Butterfly Bra Set. You could also slip into some seductive lingerie. Is your wife more of a chemise or a babydoll woman? Maybe she's into bodystockings? Or something else? Then you'll need a wig. After that, you could put on some nice lipstick and slide into some seductive shoes and bam, your wife won't be able to take her eyes off you.

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