Ask the Romance Specialist: Getting Down & Dirty

Ask the Romance Specialist: Getting Down & Dirty
POSTED ON September 12, 2019

You all never cease to amaze me. I got some pretty interesting questions, some really horny ones, and even a couple emotional ones. With a grand total of 9 questions, here's the next installment of Ask A Romance Specialist!


I want to fuck my husband so bad. What’s the best way? -Silvia

If you're looking for the definitive best way to fuck your husband, there isn't one. However, if you want recommendations for positions, I got you. Then it depends who wants to be on top. If you want to be, then cowgirl, lotus, or the face-off where your partner sits on the edge of a table, chair, or bed, and you face him, take his dick up inside you, and sit in his lap. If you want to be on the bottom, there's missionary, doggystyle, or the full view where you lie on the bed, table, etc. with your butt barely off and your partner standing in front of you. They thrust in and out while you're lying there. They can bend down to play with your nipples/breasts, and this position also works great with restraint play and blindfolds.

Hi there. I've never tried anal before, but I want to. How should I start? How do you get someone to try anal? Like my boyfriend. How can I tell him I want him to stick it up my butt? -Taylor

Ah yes, the age old How do I tell my significant other I want to take it up the ass or put it in theirs? Well Taylor, I actually just wrote The Complete Guide to Butt Stuff so there's tons of helpful stuff in there. The condensed version of how to do it is: get lube, apply lube to your finger, start by slowly massaging your butt hole, slowly work at inserting your own finger, emphasis on s l o w l y, finger yourself at your preferred speed, insert a slim toy (apply lube to it first) & you probably don't want a toy/your finger up there at the same time, then when you feel ready, your partner can slowly enter you. You want to be as relaxed as possible, but DO NOT NUMB your butt. Intimate earth has a great collection of products, outside of lube, made specifically for anal play. There's Adventure for women, Daring for men, & Comfort for everyone.

So you can't get someone to try anal if they don't want to, because any kind of sexual activity must always be consensual. You should definitely have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your desires. You might even learn some of his, and maybe, just maybe, he wants to stick it up your butt 😉

Hello, does the size of your penis really matter? -Perry

Hey Perry, so the answer is yes and no. Yes, it matters in that you don't want the problem Joe down below has. Yes, I know that rhymes. Yes, it was intentional, haha! Also, you don't want your penis to be so big that you can only have a short erection before passing out.

No, the size of your penis will not matter, because when you meet the right someone, they'll like you for who you are and not the size of your shhhlong. After reading it back to myself, it sounds pretty cliche, but it's still the truth. Plus, not having an average or big penis forces you to open up to the countless other ways of having/giving sexual pleasure.

If you have a smaller penis, or a micro-penis, it's going to be important to get real good at cunnilingus aka eating out that pussy. Just because someone has a small penis does not excuse them from not satisfying their partner. This also goes for normal and bigger penises. People with penises still need to sexually satisfy your partner.

I am currently going through menopause and I am very tight, the man I am with is 63 and I want to know is there something that I can use that will loosen me up a little bit? I would also like to know if there is something that my man could use to stay harder longer? -Kristine

I think your vagina being too tight might be more a medical situation than a sexual one, especially since you're going through menopause. I know this sounds awkward, but you should probably ask your doctor about it considering everything that's going on in your body. I don't want to recommend anything and have it potentially make your situation worse.

As for your partner, the Max Hard enhancement is sure to help him stay harder longer. Also, our #1 enhancement, and #1 product overall is Ching-A-Ling and while it might not be specifically for erections, it is our highest selling and most popular libido enhancer.

I have a problem with making love in different positions as I have a problem with my penis. It is about 8 inches fully erect but it is not straight. Normally you have a straight penis or it is slightly curved up, but mine curves down making it hard for me to make love in different positions. Should I be doing something different? Is there something I can buy? What’s your opinion? -Joe

Hey Joe, your situation is an interesting one for sure. As for product recommendations, maybe try a cock cage to prevent your dick from curving that way. I don't think you need to be doing something different necessarily, except maybe getting creative with the positions you and your partner do.

How can I get my lover to foreplay with me? I give her oral all the time and she will not touch me or give me oral, all she wants is to put it in her. I would like to be touched. -Bud

Oof, that is a rough one man. You need to talk with her about your needs and desires. Then, if she's not giving you the intimacy and love you need, then you need to decide for yourself if you're okay with never foreplaying, never receiving oral, and never being touched, or if you deserve more and will be leaving her to see other people. Because if the relationship is one-sided and not healthy, why stay? But I don't know the whole story. Maybe you open up your relationship so you can have a more emotional and intimate relationship with someone else while your current partner is strictly for penetrative sex? I can't make that decision for you though. That's all you man.

Where do can I get the real fun in Troy or around? -Drake

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "the real fun" but if you're looking for Fun Factory toy recommendations, I highly suggest: the Manta for males, Volta for females, the Laya II is great all around, the Duke for prostate play, and the Amorino.

Does your store do live models? -Rick

No, no they do not.

How do I get her to give me oral sex? -Linus

Give her great oral sex then don't ask for it yourself. She'll want to return the favor in time if you continue to be selfless and not act like a hormonal teenager. If you want to receive oral sex, you need to give it, and give it good, then not ask for it in return. Relationships should not be transactional.

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