Sure, sex is great, but what about truly amazing sex? Believe it or not, it can be achieved by anyone – the key factors include having open & honest communication, building a deep emotional connection, and paying lots of attention to your lover. In other words, the more you understand your partner, the better sex becomes! If you have this great foundation built for your sex life, the possibilities are pretty much endless!
No matter how great your sex is, though, it will take some work to keep things interesting! Over time, your focus might start to slip. If you both get comfortable with each other, you can wind up at the point where you may stop trying as hard. Or if things feel kind of repetitive, you may get bored with the same old routine and not crave sex as much. So how do you hit refresh on that sexual appetite and get both you and your partner desiring each other like the relationship was new? Consider giving fantasizing a try!
In Your Dreams
It’s important to be in the right frame of mind during sex, but who ever said you can’t let your frame of mind take a little walk while you’re doing it? The next time you and your partner are having sex, close your eyes and let your mind wander for a moment. What do you see, hear, smell, and feel? Daydream about what setting you’re in, who you are with, and what you are doing. What are your deepest desires in this moment?
Anything that may cross your mind while having sex could be considered a sexual fantasy – it could be thinking of another person (no, this isn’t cheating!), or imagining being somewhere exotic, in a new location. It doesn’t even have to be based in reality; you can fantasize about sex with a celebrity in a space station, or on a fluffy cloud with multiple partners – there are no rules! Keep these images and interests in the back of your mind, and you can use them as fodder for your future sexual adventures if things start to get stale. Have you tried discussing your fantasies with your partner? Maybe they have some, too, and you can work together to try to bring them to life!
Another good way of bringing your fantasy life down to earth and into your sex life is simply to find new & exciting ways to play with your partner. If you aren’t sure where to start, here are a few more suggestions that might get you wanting each other in new and erotic ways:
Playing dress-up isn’t just for kids! Role-play is a great way to make your wildest fantasies come true. Let your partner help you create a scenario you’ve always dreamed about. How about a fantasy where you are the sexy nurse, and they are the patient who needs a little extra attention? Or maybe you dress up in some sexy lingerie, and wait for the “pizza guy” to deliver something ‘hot and ready’.
Almost any scenario you can imagine can be created! Agree on a scene that you can both play into, and gather any necessary costumes or props that will help make the play more realistic. Set the scene and get your game on! You may start by subtly flirting with this shy new student, or take firm control as the police officer in charge of an unruly suspect, then build up the scene however you want…only to end in some incredible sex!
Yes, a lot of the tropes are overplayed and stereotypical, but you can get creative! This is YOUR fantasy, and you can be who you want to be and make the scene play out however you choose! Hopefully it will always end with both of you curled up naked with smiles on your faces!
New Places to Play
Another way of shaking things up and reigniting that sexy spark is simply with a change of scenery. Sex doesn’t always have to take place in the bedroom – plan somewhere new to have sex! You could start somewhere that is different but still feels safe, like in your kitchen, or on the couch in the living room.
If you find out you both like the new setting, you can start to get more unique with your sexytime locales. Maybe it’s time to book a vacation rental in the woods, or a private cabana on the beach during your next vacation. Even just taking some travel-size goodies and booking a hotel room near your home can make for a sexy stay-cation that will break up the monotony of basic bedroom sex.
Feeling really brave? Take it outdoors! Sex under the stars may be a huge turn-on! Try sex in an open field, or under some bleachers. Definitely be safe and vigilant to make sure there is no one else around…you don’t want to get caught doing anything obscene (or illegal)! If you’re up for the challenge, though, this wild new scenery might be the key to fulfilling a fantasy and making sex feel like an adventure again!
Looking for something exciting in your love life? Want to run into someone new? Perhaps a ‘sexy stranger’ that stumbles into you in a coffee shop or asks for your help in a hotel lobby, and cant take their eyes off you? After a bit of hardcore flirting with this new stranger, you both decide you can’t keep your hands off each other, and it’s time to find a place to get naked (this works great if you’ve pre-booked a room in the hotel lobby you ‘just so happen’ to meet in)! It’s a bit like the “Pina Colada Song” scenario, but with a lot less work involved…and since you’re in on it together, it’s not as cheat-y as what goes on in that song!
This scenario can be planned out in advance with your partner, who gets to play the stranger. If you both go all in on the acting, it will really make it fun! Want to really make it feel like a stranger? Why not try out a wig to give yourself a sexy new look, and maybe wear something new and revealing underneath your outfit…you know…just in case. Reminding the person in your love life that giving and getting attention is important to feeling wanted helps fuel this fantasy. Flirt like you just met and forget about waiting for the second date!