January 26th every year is National Spouses Day. This holiday is a perfect time for married couples to spend some extra special time together and treat each other to reminders of their love and lifelong commitment to one another.
Unfortunately, sometimes that commitment can come with a downside. Whether you are or are not married, you’ve probably heard the cliché about ‘old married couples never having sex’. If you are married, you may even be living this cliché. Your friendly Intimacy Advisor and our friends at Lover’s Lane aim to change that this Spouses Day.
Has sexual excitement fallen by the wayside amidst the daily grind of married life? One of the best ways to renew the romance is to spice things up in the bedroom. One of the easiest ways to do that? Introduce sex toys!
Weirded out? Get over it.
A common concern we hear from couples thinking about using sex toys together is that they somehow mean something bad. Maybe they’re an indicator that their sex is bad or their relationship is doomed. Guys think if their wife wants to use toys, it’s because their dick isn’t big enough or they can’t make her orgasm. Women often worry that if her husband wants to use toys in the bedroom, it’s because she just doesn’t “do it” for him anymore, or that he wants sex more than she does.
None of these worries could be further from the truth. Sex toys are made to enhance sexual pleasure in the ways the human body just can’t (sorry, sir, your dick doesn’t vibrate). Even if there is an issue of desire discrepancy, the increased pleasure and new sensations provided by a toy will keep both members of an “old married couple” cumming back for more! One or both members of a couple wanting to introduce toys is rarely an indication of poor sexual performance on either party’s behalf. Rather, toys are a way to make great sex even better!
Read on for some varieties of toys made especially for couples. These unique pleasure products can make adding sex toys to your amorous arsenal wonderful and worry-free. Then get off the couch and go shopping for your paired pleasure chest!
C-Rings with something X-tra
For partnerships with at least one penis, you can’t beat a classic cock ring for simple sensual enhancement. Made to help an erection feel stiffer and last longer by restricting blood flow out of the penis, basic stretchy cock rings have come a long way. Many have extra bells & whistles (or butt plugs) to help both parties get something good out of the deal.
The Zodiac for Lovers Throb C-Ring provides a classic C-ring feel but adds a pulsating, throbbing sensation on the outside that both partners can enjoy during sex. Plus, it has a remote control so one partner can take control of the levels of pleasurable vibrations. The Ultimate Dick Kit (pictured below) offers 3 different C-ring-based toys that can all be controlled by the same remote. Each one offers new configurations and vibrations to enhance your pleasure (and your hard-on) during sex.
The All Strapped Up Cock Ring (pictured below) from Play Together provides many of the benefits of a fancy strap-on harness, but utilizes the penis. With rings that hug the penis & testicles, a vibrating enhancer running along the shaft of the penis, a nubby vibrating area to please a partner, and a “reacharound” nub to please the wearer’s perineum, this kooky-looking contraption may be the secret to unlocking levels of sexual pleasure you didn’t know were possible!
Wanderful Wands
The classic wand vibrator…erm…”personal massager”…has been a huge hit since the original Hitachi Magic Wand entered the scene in 1968. While they are great to use solo, wands can have a particularly powerful effect when applied by a partner to a partner with a vulva.
The Gender X Handle It Wand (pictured below) is perfectly practical for all kinds of partners. The super grippable curved handle makes it easily accessible for couple’s play and self-pleasure even if there are mobility or grip challenges at play. The impressively strong vibes for its not-too-scary size are sure to make eyes roll back in heads. Want something portable but powerful? Look no further than the Femme Funn Bougie Wand or the even smaller (but still pretty darn strong) It’s Fantastic Travel Wand.
If you’re new to wands and want to start with something inexpensive but great, the Love Essentials Marvelous Wand has just the rumbly vibrations and basic features to fit the bill. Already a wand aficionado? The beautiful and powerful Le Wand Plug-In Vibrating Massager (pictured below) mimics the classic and provides knee-buckling rumbly vibrations wherever it is applied. Plus, since it plugs in whenever and wherever you need it, you don’t need to worry about if it’s charged or not when you’re ready to play.
For a Pair to Share
This category is the best way to be able to say “something has come between us” and have it mean something good. Many couple’s vibrators are meant to slip in the vagina and join the penis in providing pleasurable vibrations along with the thrusting while one end rests on the outside to provide pleasure to the penis-having partner.
The Midnight Minx is a high-tech twist on a proven popular shape, complete with a remote control with a digital display. The We-Vibe Chorus Couples Toy (pictured below) is perfect for solo or paired play, targeting the clitoris and G-spot at the same time, while providing vibrating sensations on the outside for the partner to enjoy, too. Being able to control it with the remote or an app makes it as futuristic as it is fun!
In a different category of wearable, shareable toys, strapless strap-ons provide pleasure to both partners, and can be used for same-sex or opposite-sex couples. The Strap-On-Me Multi Orgasm Bendable Strap-On (pictured below) provides air pulse clitoral stimulation, g-spot vibrations, and a separate vibrating motor on the receiver’s shaft end.
Nothin’ But a G-spot Thang
Other than the clitoris, stimulating the G-spot can be one of the easiest ways to help a vulva owner reach orgasm. No it’s not a myth. Yes, it can be harder to find on some individuals…but once you find it, it’s worth the time invested. While you definitely can reach the G-spot with your fingers, the added sensation and pressure that can be applied with a toy can feel amazing.
Glass dildos with an angled head like the Glassy Luminaria Glass Dildo or hefty metal wands with bulbous ends like the Le Wand Hoop are perfect for adding lots of pressure where you typically can’t. Plus, they look and feel classy AF. Just want to get the good vibes in the right place? A vibrating silicone G-spot wand like the Royals Scepter G-Spot Vibe or the Handle Yourself G-Spot Vibrator (pictured below). This one packs a handy handle for easy control by a partner and unique gyrating sensations in the G-spot hugging head.
The TEMPting Temperature Play Vibrator (pictured below) is perfectly angled to target the G-spot, and it warms to 104 degrees or cools to 64 degrees within seconds. Make her melt or shiver with pleasure by applying these amazing temperature sensations where you don’t usually get to feel them.
Meet me at the back door
Despite some common stereotypes, anal play can be enjoyed by all sexes, genders, and sexualities. If you have a butt, you can try butt stuff! Butt plugs create a sensation of fullness and increase blood flow to the genitals, making all the sensations during partnered sex more powerful.
Any basic butt plug, whether vibrating or non-vibrating, can provide this enhanced pleasure. For those with a penis, you can get plugs made to target the prostate. The Love Essentials Prostate Pleasure vibrating massager or the Maxtasy P-Spot Master perfectly flex to your anatomy to apply just the right amount of pressure and vibration. Did you know your prostate has just as many pleasure receptors as vulva havers have in their G-spot? You do now! Might as well make the most of them!
You can even bring a sense of romantic playfulness with a plug like the Southern Lights Vibrating Light Up Anal Probe that lights up with twinkling, colorful fiber optics. Or get your message across…the room with a laser-projecting plug that projects a heart (pictured below) or the words “Fuck Me”. Subtle? Not so much…but awesome!
For more info on anal training and introducing anal toys into the mix as a couple, check out ‘Opening the Back Door: Anal Training 101’ for more tips for tushy play.
