Pegging sure as hell isn’t your old-fashioned sex rodeo!
Besides stirring up our love of tacky sex jokes and cheesy puns, we think pegging is one of the most pleasurably taboo and kinky activities for couples. What could be sexier than reversing the usual roles of penetrator and penetratee, all while introducing your male partner to the joy of (safe, careful, and consensual) anal sex?
If we hadn’t made it obvious already, pegging specifically refers to a cisgender woman wearing a strap-on harness and dildo and using it to penetrate a cisgender male partner’s anus. Plenty of guys absolutely love it, regardless of their sexual identity.
Don’t listen to the stigmas and stereotypes. As a straight man, enjoying anal play with a toy and/or female partner doesn’t ‘make you gay’ or any less masculine. Sex is about connecting with your partner and sharing pleasure, and getting into pegging is exactly that, just in a naughtier way (which is why so many couples are into it!).
Like all butt-related sexual activity, pegging should be done with the utmost comfort and safety of the pegged partner in mind. Let the sexperts at Lover’s Lane walk you through some of the basic steps of beginner’s pegging and which products to use for a positive journey into the wide world of booty sex.
First, Douche for Comfort if Necessary
Anal douching, or, simply, rinsing out your anal cavity with lukewarm water prior to sex, is not necessary for everyone. If you’re properly hydrated and not bloated or constipated, you won’t likely run into too many – ahem – brown problems with shallow penetration.
But if it’ll help you relax, try lightly rinsing the outermost entrance to your anal cavity using clean, warm water and a douche, like the Nexus Anal Douche Set or the Dorcel Douche Mate.
A little water will whisk away any small fecal particles that may be hanging around your back door, and knowing you’ve eliminated that may help you feel less self-conscious while being penetrated.
Begin with an Anal Sex Must-Have: a Good Lube
Woah there, cowgirl! Any activity involving anal play needs lots of lube and a gentle touch. If this is your partner’s first time doing an anal insertion, you’ll need to focus on their comfort and safety.
Keep an open bottle of lubricant handy throughout the entire process. You’ll want to thoroughly lube up the b-hole and any sex toys that might enter it.
Try a water-based lube if you and your partner prefer a lighter feel, like Wicked Simply Aqua or Pjur Aqua Aloe Vera.
While silicone lubricants are prized for their anal-friendly qualities, they can’t be used with silicone toys…which most dildos fall into, unfortunately. Lubes like Pjur Backdoor Silicone (which has a water-based counterpart) and Uberlube are thicker and stay slick longer without feeling sticky. Great for anal sex or if you’re using metal or glass toys, but keep it away from your silicone stuff.
Certain botanicals can help ease insertion and relax the muscles inside the anus. Bliss Anal Relaxing Waterbased Glide with clove oil and Comfort Anal Gel are designed to soothe and relax the bum without any toxic, numbing chemicals, which can irritate the skin and cause injury by over-numbing pain receptors.
A good lube will prevent tearing the sensitive skin inside the anus, though insertion might feel a tiny bit strange if this is your partner’s first time. Take it as slow as they prefer, and don’t be afraid to use more lube than seems necessary if any discomfort persists.
Follow Up with a Small, Beginner’s Butt Plug
If this is your partner’s first anal rodeo, you’ll want to spring for a small, slender plug to practice penetration before leaping right into strap-on play.
Gentle vibrations from a beginner’s-sized butt plug, like the We-Vibe Ditto, b-Vibe Vibrating Snug Plug 1, or the Sensuelle Remote Control Mini Plug, can help to make first-time butt play more pleasurable and further aid in relaxing the tight muscles around the anus.
Once your chosen toy is charged and lubed up, gently press it against your partner’s anus, or let them try inserting it themselves. Go reeeeally slowly, and stop if things feel too intense or painful.
Pro tip: Pain and severe discomfort should never be expected or endured parts of anal sex. Your body will tell you when to stop or slow down, and pushing past that point can cause both physical and mental trauma. Go however slow you and your partner need to ensure a safe, comfortable, and pleasurable experience.
If you’re both still feeling perplexed by anal anatomy and safe anal sex, we recommend the b-Vibe Anal Training and Education Set. This 7-piece kit contains multiple sizes of butt plugs and a handy booklet full of anal sex education to safely work you or a partner’s way up from anal amateur to booty play pro.
Strap In with a Strap-On Harness and Dong
Time to saddle up, pardner? When you both feel ready, choosing a user-friendly harness and appropriately-sized dildo are essential.
Cheesy cowgirl/cowboy jokes aside, pegging is actually not the time to go buck-wild on your partner’s bum. Pegging requires extra care on the part of the penetrator since, obviously, you can’t feel what’s going on for the pegged partner through a plastic dick.
Choose a dong that’s a comfortable length and width for your partner, and pick a harness that fits snugly around your hips for better thrust control. Depending on your preference, you can choose these parts separately, or go with a kit.
The Lux Fetish Strap On Harness And 5-Inch Dildo Set comes with everything you need to get started, including a slender dong and a cozy harness with adjustable straps. Try the similar Diki Rechargeable Vibrating Strap On Dildo harness kit if your pegged partner enjoys a mix of vibration and penetration and can handle something a little larger.
The harness-donning partner should initially use their hands to help guide the dildo, gently and slowly, into their partner’s b-hole. Use the same technique and care that’s pretty much universal to anal play: employ lots of lube, check in with your partner and ensure they’re comfortable, and stop if pain or severe discomfort occur.
Next, step up your harness game with the Strap-On-Me Rebel Harness, a sexy combo that blends a skin-tight, thong harness with garter belt straps for your favorite thigh-high nylons.
Plus-sized babes will adore the Emex Silhouette Harness, an underwear-style harness that comfortably hugs your curves, supports your hips, and features an open crotch for your pleasure while you peg.
Pair your chosen harness with a novice-style dildo, like the slender, short, and flexible Love To Love Dildolls Utopia Dildo, the gently curved Tantus Acute Dildo or the Strap-On-Me Mono Density Dildo.
Share in the Pleasure with a Vulva Grinder or Dildo Base
There’s no reason to skimp on pleasure just because you’re wearing a silicone penis. Slip a vulva grinder or silicone dildo base into the crotch of your harness to feel the bumping and thrusting on your end of the dong.
The Bumpher Dildo Base and Shagger Dildo Base are made just for securing to the bottom of a dildo or for stuffing into your harness. As you thrust your hips, the Bumpher and Shagger rock against your clitoris and labia with soft bumps and fins that simultaneously cushion your sensitive parts from chafing.
For even more squishy-soft texture to rub hands-free against your vulva, try the Rosae Platinum Silicone Rose Grinder in Pearl Pink or Pearl Violet, or the semi-realistic labia lips of the Labae Platinum Silicone Grinder. Use the suction cup base to stick them securely to any flat-base dildo, or make room in your harness undies for these soft, vulva-loving cushions.
As the penetrator, once you’re comfy and settle into a speed, style, and position your pegged partner feels good about, too, don’t forget to really get into the role reversal aspect. Bump and grind, talk dirty, throw in a spanking tool if you enjoy that…whatever you need to do to get into it and show him you’re in charge. Own your power as you peg and please your lover from behind for a change. We can almost guarantee this will be a part of your bedroom repertoire you’ll come back to over and over again.
Now you’re pegging with style!
