POSTED ON March 29, 2019
Are you looking to surprise that special someone with some new tricks that'll have them screaming your name, begging for more? Then you've come to the right place since we're bringing you the best tips to have better oral sex! The first half of the article is the most vital advice, and the second half, while still important, is more technique and physical tips.
#1 Be Excited
The number one biggest thing, the single biggest thing that'll enable you to give better oral is to be excited about sucking the dick or going down on that pussy. Honestly. I know it sounds weird, but think about it this way. If you're about to engage in some intimate activity(s) with someone, would you rather have them be enthusiastic itching to jump your bones or dull and meh? You want the person that's tearing off their clothes and ripping into yours (not literally though, don't destroy anyone's clothes). Now, we said "be excited about sucking the dick or going down on that pussy" mainly to grab your attention, but be excited you get to be intimate and please them physically.
The truth is that no one's genitals look physically appealing. Never in my life have I heard the phrase "Wow, that's one beautiful pussy (or dick)!" It just doesn't happen, but think about it as a prestigious honor that you have been entrusted with the job of imbuing pleasure into that person's life. People are vulnerable when they're receiving oral sex, and it's important to know that as well as be excited that they've entrusted their pleasure to you. There's a major difference between "I have to perform oral" & "I get to perform oral." It's all about mindset, and not to mention that confidence is arguably the single sexiest trait someone can have, not arrogance, confidence.
Know their boundaries and respect them. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, pull their hair if they don't like, and if you don't know and you're already in the moment, just don't do it. Some people do it, but never assume someone does. As vulnerable as receiving is, giving is also a vulnerable time for people. So if you're receiving, be aware of that. Tons of people have low self-esteem and that's usually due to body image issues, so when someone comes along saying they're attractive it's not always the easiest thing to hear, and what really becomes difficult is opening up to people enough to bare yourself and let them touch you.
Let go of all those negative thoughts, because the answer is you are beautiful and you need to realize that. You've probably heard the saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and while society might have their standards for beauty, you don't have to conform or believe them. Think about it this way, would you rather listen to someone who's telling you you're not beautiful (society) or someone saying you are (your significant other)? The someone saying you are, right? Also, don't confuse your inherent beauty with your genitals' lack of beauty. In other words, you are not your genitals; they are just a part of you. Maybe their lack of beauty is why you should put them in each other's mouth's more, so you don't have to look at them. I mean, if I had to choose between looking at my partner and looking at my genitals, I'm going to choose my partner.
Also, if your partner gives oral then you need to reciprocate, not necessarily in the same session, but relatively soon. Ok, time to get into the more technical tips.
#2 The Wetter the Better
Now, this may just be with blow jobs, but it could also work for going down on that pussy. Not only does making things wet help with the lubrication, which ultimately makes everything easier, but the sounds that come along with it can bring the experience to a whole new level. If it's time for a blow job, try spitting on his dick and giving it some nice hand action to spread your saliva all over before taking it into your mouth. As crazy as that sounds, it works for most guys, might even drive them crazy with desire for you.
It's no secret that genitals don't exactly taste like crème brûlée. The good news is flavored/edible lube is a great way to make things tastier so the giver can have a delicious experience. Plus, there are so many great flavors to choose from like Intimate Earth's Banana Cream Pie & Salted Caramel to Wicked's Aqua Cherry & Vanilla, plus you can't forget about Shunga's Tangerine Cream. Also, if you're going down on someone, make them squirt. Now, this may require some fingering so the g-spot can get some love, but this will be the oral they never forget.
#3 Find the Clitoris / Play with Balls
If your partner has a clitoris, make sure you know where it is, because that's going to be the spot you want to focus on for oral, otherwise, they won't experience nearly half as much pleasure as they could be. If you're already a pro at clitoral stimulation then you might want to add in some fingering or massage their breasts. Depending on your position, you might want to grab their butt, or if they're into anal, stick a finger in that booty.
If your partner is the proud owner of a penis, then they probably have balls, which usually go without love in lots of sexual encounters. Show them balls some love! Caress them, play with them, and don't squeeze them (unless your partner is into that). If your partner is into anal, you might grab on to their ass and play with it. Sexpert Dr. Ava Cadell has tons more techniques if you want a more in-depth tutorial. However, we're not done here. There's so much more 😉
#4 Make Some Noise
This goes for both partners. If you're the partner giving, this is where the need for wetness comes in. The more wet something is, the more likely it is to make more noise, and that noise adds another level of stimulation to the person receiving. Whether the sounds are you deep-throating their cock, your tongue flicking against their clit, or sensual licking with gentle kisses against their private parts, the noise you make contribute a lot to the whole experience. You could also moan, because your vocal cords will vibrate and those vibrations will travel up to their genitals in your mouth. Your throat could be a natural vibrator!
If you're the person receiving, scream their name, scream out YES! YES! YES! YES! If you're not a screamer, you don't have to, but if you are, don't hold back. Moan and let them know how great they're doing. If it works for your position, you could whisper to them all the dirty things you're going to do to them later. Our next tip fits here, but deserves its own space.
#5 Tell Them What They're Doing Right
This is all on the receiver, and without a doubt one of the more important items on the list. If you tell them what you like and what they're doing right, then they know how to pleasure you better and can improve on that next time. You can't get what you don't ask for, so why don't you just compliment them and get more of what you really want? It's a win-win!
Not only does it build up their self-image and makes them feel better about their sexual skills but helps you have more satisfying sexual experiences in the future. Yes, it can be a little awkward to talk about your sexual preferences, but your fear and anxiety on talking about them is far worse than actually just talking about them. People build it up way too much in their mind and never talk about it, which makes for the same or worse sex long term and your partner not really knowing what you want.
#6 Give Your Hands a Different Rhythm than Your Mouth
Whether you're fingering that pussy or stroking that shaft, switch up the sensations and give them a whirlwind of feelings like never before. It's good to know and indulge your partner's tastes/preferences but you should occasionally spice it up. You might want to consider switching from licking the clit and fingering to licking the vagina and rubbing the clit. For partner's with penises, your hand might go slow and easy on the shift while your mouth and tongue goes to town on the head, or vice-versa.
#7 Use Restraints
Like every other BDSM, fetish, kinky topic we've talked out, it's not for everyone. So if you're not already into it, talk with your partner to see if it's something the two of you want to incorporate into your sex life.
Incorporating bondage in oral sex is a great way to play around with power dynamics and experience oral in a whole new way. If you're the receiver, the giver binds your hands behind your back or to the bedposts while they have their way with you. Maybe your wrists around bound to your ankles and your partner pleasures you while you're confined to that. Being restrained makes you focus more on the sensations your partner is giving you, even though you're the one being pleasured, they're in complete control of your pleasure. You might be sitting on their face with your hands behind your back, but before you know it, you could be on your back with your hands and feet bound to the bed and their mouth is down on your crotch while their hands are right there plunging you into erotic bliss.
If you're the giver and bound, then prepare to be dominated. If your partner has a pussy, prepare to have a mouth full of it, and if your partner has a penis I sure hope you like the taste of dick, or at least the flavor of lube they chose. As crazy as it sounds being dominated and in complete submission to a partner can actually be quite liberating to some people. They find freedom in the confinement. Maybe your hands are behind your back, and you're on your knees. Maybe you're hogtied and on the edge of the bed so your partner thrusts their penis into your mouth or holds your head against their vagina.
#8 Switch Up the Location
The bedroom will always be a prime spot for oral and pretty much every other sexual adventure, but every so often you should switch it up. The shower is a great place for oral as is the kitchen, laundry room, dining room, living room, pretty much every other room in the house you can make great for oral.
If you really wanted to turn up the heat, go somewhere outside and have oral. The places out of public sight but where you still have the potential to get caught are sure to bring the most excitement. Maybe you're skinny dipping out in the lake at night and you decide to give your partner oral. Maybe you're in a forest or larger public park and pull them behind a big tree for some illicit fun.
#9 Oral Sex Position Suggestions
Disclaimer: If you have never tried any of these sex positions, try them out in the bedroom first before trying them anywhere else.
The Front Seat
This vagina focused position has one partner lying flat on their back while the vagina owner climbs over them and sits on their face, being careful not to smother their partner. She's the queen in this position, the empress of pleasure. Be careful or she might throw you in some cuffs and then sit on your face. Then again, that might be what you want 😉
Going in Deep
This is a more advanced position, but also probably the best if your partner wants to deep throat you. Your partner lies on the bed so just their head is off the bed, and the penis-owning partner positions themself (depending on their height and the height of the bed, they might have to kneel or squat) so they align their cock with their partner's mouth. If you're receiving oral, make sure you know when your partner needs a break so they don't choke. If your partner has a problem with their gag reflex this throat relaxing spray should help.
This is another pussy pleasuring position, but with a twist. The one receiving oral stands against a door while their partner binds them in the Lux Fetish Closet Cuffs and then goes down on you for however long they want to. You can even add a ball gag and/or a blindfold to the person receiving for a far more tantalizing time. Venture into the world of BDSM and make your oral sex hotter than ever.