It’s been one heck of a year & the end is finally here! While we’re all ready to kiss 2020 goodbye, it’s also that time of year when we resolve to better our lives. Of course at Ambiance, we’re focused on helping you make your love life even better. Improving your love life has benefits well beyond boosting your relationship with your partner! A happy sex life has been linked with improved immunity and overall health, which after 2020, is something we all need! But what does a happy sex life mean to you? Perhaps you want more sex in your relationship. Better sex? Different sex? More intimacy? All of the above? Whatever your end goal, make, and keep, these 10 resolutions to shake up and improve your sex life in the New Year!
1. Exercise your muscles
Yes, getting in shape is one of the most popular and most abandoned resolutions. But some of the most important muscles for your sex life are often ignored. First, exercise your kegel muscles, which are also referred to as your pelvic floor muscles. Doing so will give you greater control of the very muscles that help you maximize the physical sensations during sex. However, when it comes to hot sex, the most important muscle is your brain. (Ok, not really a muscle.) But the more you exercise your brain through exploration of the sexual visions and fantasies you have, the more you will let passion take over your rational thoughts.
2. Do more chores
Want to help get your partner in a more receptive mood for great sex? Do the dishes, laundry or anything around the house without being asked as a pleasant surprise for your partner. It will be one less thing hanging over both of your heads, and when there are fewer things to worry about getting done, there is more time for doing things you actually want to do. Like making out, cuddling while watching a movie, or making mad, passionate love. Guys, are you skeptical? It has been proven, a man who cleans the house has more sex. It’s worth it! We get so busy with day-to-day activities that it’s easy leave the work up one person. So let your partner know how a clean kitchen (or whatever) is so going to get you in the mood. A little come hither look and the not subtle hint that you get so horny when they help with the chores will do wonders.
3. Make Each Other Laugh
Who doesn’t want to be in love with their best friend? Stay connected in that special way by making each other laugh. Not only does a similar sense of humor keep you connected, it’s sexy! So watch a comedy special or play a game that will send you both into fits of giggles!
4. Don’t just step out of the box, throw it away
Routine is arguably the biggest libido extinguisher of all, particularly for couples in long-term relationships. Mix it up every time you have sex, whether you make a small change or try something completely new and out of your usual routine. Some of our favorite ideas?
- Add some new positions
- Watch sexy movies together
- Role play
- Massage each other
- Have sex in risky places
- Take turns tying each other up.
There are an infinite number of ways to be sexual together; explore them, don’t ignore them.
5. Target the (forgotten) erogenous zones
Some truly sensational erogenous zones tend to be overlooked during foreplay and sex. While many lovers head straight to the familiar zones, there is much more to a man’s body than his penis, and so much is missed when you go straight for the clit on her. For her, pay more attention (slow, sexy attention) to her inner thighs, neck, wrists (yes wrists!), lips (the ones on her face), buttocks, ears. For him, pay attention to his ear lobes, neck, inner thighs, and even that delicate spot behind the knees. Wherever you’re headed, kiss, caress, lick. Then repeat!
6. Lose control and love it
Have you ever looked back on a stressful situation and recalled the rush you got from it? The fear of not knowing what’s coming next is a big adrenaline booster for most of us, and when you add a little bit of that mystery to lovemaking, things can get exciting. Light bondage/fetish is popular with many couples for this very reason. Getting the opportunity to be in the position of no control, but in the hands of a willing lover, is exhilarating. On the flip side, watching the one you love squirm and moan while you focus all attention on their pleasure is just as exhilarating. While embarking on a journey into the world of BDSM may seem a bit daunting, starting out simple with just a blindfold is a great way to explore your boundaries. And always discuss what is and is not ok with your partner first Make a little “restraint” a goal in the bedroom this year.
7. Have one night a week without TV/internet
There is nothing wrong with zoning out with a marathon of a TV show you love, or chatting with that old friend on Facebook. But these can contribute to a rut-inducing routine. Make sure there is one night a week where you turn the tech off. It will force you to be creative with how you’re going to spend the time with your partner. A secondary recommendation? Take the TV and other (non-vibrating) electronics out of your bedroom altogether. The bedroom is for resting and making love. You don’t want to associate your bed with anything else. Don’t worry, you can still Netflix and chill in the living room.
8. Learn to relax together
Solo de-stressing is important for any couple, taking time for ourselves and engaging in personal interests and hobbies. But there’s nothing like winding down with your lover for instant bonding. Massage, for example, is great foreplay, but it is also a great way to physically and emotionally connect to each other. Or consider bathing and shaving each other, enjoying the way the water feels between your skin. It’s eco-friendly and oh-so-sexy! Two separate showers take longer than one tandem one, so no excuses about how there’s no time. The best lovers make the most of everyday occurrences like bath time, or down time after work, to create intimacy. These moments are important building blocks to a more satisfying sex life.
9. Learn something new about your partner
When in a long-term relationship, couples tend to think they know just about everything about their partner. But people grow and relationships change. You may be surprised to discover a few things you may have missed over the years, like new goals in life, dreams not yet realized or even just a new interest or hobby. Find ways to become involved in these parts of each other’s lives and spark a new excitement in your relationship!
10. Play with toys
When in a long term relationship, it is easy, after a time, to instinctively know what buttons to push to get your partner off. Even if you don’t plan on it, there you are, caressing him the way you know will make him moan, or kissing her in the place that makes her arch her back every time. Remember what we said about routine above? Sex toys are a novel and exciting way to rediscover your bodies together. Their textures, movements and vibrations feel different than a finger or a mouth, and force you to refocus on these new sensations rather than resorting to the same old techniques you’ve always used. Have you ever used a couple’s cock ring together? Tried to find her G-spot with a curved vibrator? Explored the sensations of anal play together? It’s finally 2021 and time to try all these things… and more! What’s missing from this list? What’s YOUR erotic resolution? Let us know in the comments below!