September is Sexual Health Month, so what better time to discuss everyone’s favorite pleasurable pastime? Most importantly, do you know some of the best ways to stay physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy while doing it? Lets take a look at some simple habits you can start to maintain ideal levels of holistic sexual health.
So, what exactly do we mean when we say ‘sexual health’? Many people probably have some middle school health topics pop into their head, but there’s a lot more to it than that. It can be a hard definition to pin down, because it’s a broad term that encompasses many different aspects of health & well-being. The World Health Organization offers a pretty comprehensive description, acknowledging that sexual health is much more than merely the absence of disease. True sexual health, the WHO says, is:
“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”
Simply put, all people should be free to and have the ability to enjoy sexual pleasure and relationships where they feel safe, healthy, and respected. So without further ado, let’s take a look at the top sexual health habits all people should work on cultivating for a safe, healthy, stigma-free appreciation of human sexuality and sexual wellness:
1. Practice Safer Sex.
You may have grown up learning the term ‘safe sex’. This has fallen out of popular use because we’ve learned that there is almost always a certain level of risk to any sexual encounter. Sexually healthy adults understand this and do what they can to mitigate those risks. Hence, safer sex. Condoms are one of the easiest tools to practice safer sex. They can drastically cut down on the risk of transmitting all sorts of sexually transmitted infections. It is also important to get tested regularly for all the STIs you can be tested for, especially before having sex with a new partner. Ditch the stigma, share your results, and keep things safe & fun for everyone!
2. Consider contraception carefully.
If you’re having penis-in-vagina sex, both partners need to have a serious sit-down to discuss their feelings on the possibility of pregnancy. There are so many different options for contraception these days, if procreating isn’t in your plans, you should choose one or two methods to use consistently. Different methods place the onus of responsibility on different partners. If you say you’re committed to using one, it’s your very important job to follow through on using it every time you have sex. If you don’t hold up you’re end of the bargain, you’re potentially non-consensually duping your partner into an unplanned pregnancy, and that’s not cool!
While the vagina owner should have the ultimate say in what methods are (or aren’t) used, the penis owner must also be comfortable with that same level of risk. Have an informed & honest conversation about this before any relationship involving P-in-V sex gets too serious. If your views on making babies and your levels of desire for children differ wildly, you might just not be long-term/future compatible, and that’s always better to find out early on in a relationship.
3. Cultivate healthy consent conversations.
Having complete agency over one’s body and what they choose to do or not to do with it sexually is of utmost importance to sexual wellness. Sexually healthy adults understand that every sexual encounter between two or more people must be enthusiastically consented to by all parties. You can establish what this looks like in your relationship, remembering that it may not always be a verbal “Can I?” / “Yes, you can” exchange. Sometimes, consent may be given simply by one partner initiating an action and the other partner leaning into it or reciprocating, i.e. one person offering a passionate kiss and the other gladly accepting and returning it. Actions like this give the initiating partner nonverbal consent to continue. Consent should never be assumed, though, even between spouses, so make sure you have a clear system of giving or denying consent in any situation.
4. See your doctor regularly.
One of the most important things you can do for your sexual health is talk about it with professionals. This means being proactive and staying on top of well visits and other appointments necessary for your sexual & reproductive health. Keep up with annual physicals with your PCP or OB/GYN, get tested for STIs as necessary, and make all appointments recommended for your age group. Keeping up with these important medical tests such as mammograms, PAP smears, and prostate exams is crucial to maintaining your sexual and overall health. Many potential issues can be treated much more easily if they’re caught early through routine testing.
Remember, you should be empowered to talk to your doctor about your sex life, needs, and desires without fear of stigma. No medical professional should ever make you feel ashamed, dirty, or abnormal for asking questions and seeking answers or help for sexual health needs. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your doctor about sexual concerns, it’s time to find a different doctor.
5. Keep things interesting.
Monotony can be the killer of an otherwise great sex life. If you and your partner do the same thing every time you have sex, it gets boring. No one wants to do something they find boring, so it simply stops happening. Embrace novelty and be willing to try new things in the bedroom. Trying new positions can be an easy way to switch things up a bit. You can (read: should) also vary your foreplay techniques. Still not exciting enough? There are always many more exciting options. Incorporate sex toys, try something kinky, or throw in a fun little role play scenario once in awhile. You should find that trying something a little different every time does wonders for your libido, your sexual stamina, and how frequently you crave sex.
6. Pee after sex.
Ok, this one may seem like it’s on a slightly less serious note than the others, but it’s actually very important. Regardless of your genitalia, peeing after sex is key for preventing urinary tract infections, or UTIs. While UTIs are much more common in vagina havers because of their much shorter urethra & its closer proximity to the anus (and resulting bacteria), penis havers can get them, too. Urinating immediately after any kind of sexual intercourse helps rinse away any stray pathogens that may have entered the urethra during sex. You can also help prevent UTIs by drinking lots of water, and by showering regularly, paying special attention to your genitals, especially when you’re having lots of sex. Following these healthy habits can be crucial for helping prevent these inconvenient, often painful, and potentially dangerous infections.
