Sexy Play for Disobedience Day

by Erica G.

November 1, 2021


July 3rd is recognized worldwide as “Disobedience Day”. Some say the intent of the day is to reflect on and honor those who have engaged in acts of civil disobedience to non-violently protest injustices.  Other histories state the day may have simply been started by those who were sick of following rules all the time, from the cradle to the grave.  Either way, it’s a day to celebrate by bending the rules, disregarding authority, and just having fun! While it’s great to bend or ignore some minor rules on Disobedience Day, you can’t (or definitely shouldn’t) go out and break any laws or willfully defy your boss’ rules, even if you think they suck!  What’s a rulebreaker to do?  Take that aim to misbehave indoors for some irreverent and naughty play!  

If we turn to the bedroom, we can find ways to add some sexy, kinky twists to being disobedient! Roleplaying as someone who is caught being naughty (and the person who caught them) can be a real turn-on, creating new and exciting ways to get off. Whether you prefer to play dom, sub, or switch (today’s about bending the rules, remember?), read on for some activities and accessories for setting your scenes, and a couple suggestions of fun roleplays that may spice up your Disobedience Day!

NOTE: If you are new to BDSM, impact play, and roleplay, be sure to discuss with your partner what they are comfortable with before adding the suggestions below to your sex life. Establish your boundaries, and clearly communicate your desires and hard limits. Always set a safe word and a nonverbal way to say a line has been crossed and play needs to stop. Finally, don’t engage in an activity unless you know how to do it safely.  Your kinky scenes are supposed to be fun and sexy; not end in a trip to the emergency room.  And remember, while this day may be about breaking the rules, the rule of CONSENT should never be broken!


If your partner has been disobedient, they need a spanking!  Though a hand works just fine, especially if you add a little squeeze to the smack (just sayin’), you can always step it up and try a paddle or crop on your willing partner. You can still use your hands to tickle or caress the behind in between spanks.

The pain of impact play isn’t for everyone, but if you want to add some sting, these tools work quite well. You don’t have to just focus on the buns, either. Spanking can give spine-tingling sensations on other parts as well – chest, back, back of legs, bottoms of feet…just be gentle on those areas with less padding!  With permission, explore and give your partner some well-deserved attention on all of their parts with firm but gentle love taps or a solid smack.

Want to try a roleplay with some spanking involved?  Maybe you’ve been caught vaping at your strict private school, you naughty schoolgirl! Someone needs to be taught a lesson! Or consider those pretend Birthday spankings he got as a kid, but maybe now he would like the grown-up version. Get creative!


If the lovetaps and simple spanking seem too ‘vanilla’ for you, you might need a bit more firepower. Bring on the floggers! While crops are good for a little extra sting, whips (great for making noise and looking dangerous; not cool for hitting people with!) or floggers have been used for centuries to dish out painful punishment. If you’ve been disobedient and deserve some punishment, some swift smacks with a flogger may be perfect for fulfilling that kink!

Want to build up some sexual tension and get your partner to tingle? Tickle them a bit with a soft brushing of the whip tails around their most sensitive areas. This type of teasing will lead to more sensation when you bring down the hammer. Again, use caution and establish limits first; if you don’t, you’re gonna have a bad time. Practice your aim beforehand, and if you don’t know what you’re doing well enough to do it safely, don’t do it!  No one wants to get whipped in the eye, so keep your impact play confined to places that won’t cause permanent damage (think butts, legs, and backs).

Need a roleplay idea? Maybe you are a lass from the 1700’s whose ne’er-do-well husband has died, and you will be forced off to debtor’s prison…unless you’re willing to take 40 lashes in the town square instead. Or maybe he wants to relive his college years and must get through a tough round of hazing. Both scenarios play quite well with a flogger, crop, or whip. (Don’t judge my scenarios, find something that works for you!)

General Roleplay

Most of BDSM involves using your sexy imagination to fulfil your darkest fantasies and desires.  Role play is the same, but can be a little tamer (and less painful)! Find something that is a turn-on and try to stay in character while you act it out. Almost anything can be turned into a lusty time with willing participants. Bonus points if it involves costumes, props, bondage restraints, or all of the above! Sticking with the disobedience theme, you can try some reliable tropes: flirty cops ready to deal out their own form of justice, pirates who make that stowaway swab the deck, maids who know how to get dirty. It’s all up to you where you take it and how fun you make it…perfect for a day meant for breaking rules and disregarding authority!

Don’t forget to take a moment to reflect on the sexual freedoms you enjoy (though they’re still far from equal for all) that most likely come indirectly from those who fought for your liberties in the past.  Once you’ve done that, celebrate Disobedience Day your own way by playing by your rules only!  Who knew being naughty could be so nice?


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