This year, when your family and friends gather around the Thanksgiving table expressing all the things they are thankful for, they’re probably not going to say “sex and love with my partner.” But they should. They certainly should be thinking it. So should you. One of the dangers of relationships, especially long-term ones, is taking the other person for granted. That’s why it doesn’t hurt to remind yourself often and particularly at the holidays to make sure that you savor all of the great things about your life that result from that loving, supportive relationship. Like sex. True, sexual activity isn’t absolutely essential for a healthy relationship. BUT, as one friend says, “If you’re a romantic couple and you’re not having sex, you’re just roommates.” Romance is at the heart – literally and figuratively – of a successful relationship. Moreover, enjoying quality sex is one of the foundational elements of a satisfying romance. Countless experts have enumerated the extensive physical and emotional benefits of sexuality for individuals and couples. Again, it’s not everything, but it’s extremely important, and how major a role it plays in your love life will depend on you and your partner. According to Sian Ferguson, a freelance writer and editor based in Cape Town, South Africa, in an article she wrote for healthline.com, the following are among the many reasons why sex might be an important part of your relationship:
- It could be an opportunity to bond with your partner.
- It could be an opportunity to show your partner love and affection.
- You might feel more secure in your relationship if you’re having sex often.
- It could simply be pleasurable and fun.
- You could be trying to become pregnant.
All good reasons to be thankful. But wait. There’s more! The advantages and gains of regular shared sexual activities, Ferguson adds, extend beyond physical pleasure to include emotional benefits such as stress relief, increased self-confidence and self-image, connecting with your body in pleasurable ways, and enhanced bonding with your partner. Numerous experts claim and research studies demonstrate that sex is good for your physical health, too. So, next time you find yourself giving a speech to your lover regarding the health benefits of having sex — “Yes, dear, if you stuff me before I stuff the turkey, we will receive these gifts.” — you can cite these factoids in your PowerPoint presentation to him/her: Some research suggests that sex can:
- Boost your immune system…
- Serve as a form of light exercise…
- Improve heart health…
- Boost cognitive function and…
- Soothe headaches.
In their article “How Regular Sex Can Strengthen a Relationships,” the NOVUS Anti Aging Center confirms most of the above regarding sex more often reinforcing the connection between partners as well as enhancing mood and increasing happiness. However, it also touches on other key benefits for you as lovers like fostering spontaneity in your relationship: “Spicing up your love life in the bedroom helps add passion and romance in a relationship. It reassures couples of their commitment to each other,” they inform. Sometimes, the responsibilities of maintaining jobs, raising families, dealing with financial challenges, meeting social commitments and other obligations can wear down the physical, sexual excitement within a loving relationship. Regular sex has a way of renewing intimate feelings and rekindling romance in marriages or long-term relationships. The NOVUS article reminds us that “sex can strengthen relationships by encouraging two parties to actively engage in a loving activity, despite the hectic schedules and taxing chores. It reconnects two people and brings them back to the discovery phase, allowing them to grow both as individuals and as partners in life.” To enable that growth and the enjoyment of all of the benefits, NOVUS recommends that couples always make time to have sex, and they can “spark the drive” by:
- Fostering intimacy even outside the bedroom. Plan date nights. Work on projects together.
- Discussing important matters, e.g. how you can have better sex, what’s keeping you from having an interest, and the like. Identify and eliminate stressors. Open communication is the key to satisfaction in the bedroom.
- Keeping tech devices away from the bed. Minimize the use of your mobile phone. Put the TV remote control at a distance.
- Introduce new stimuli. Try new activities, positions, and toys. Experiment!
Speaking of new positions… If you would enjoy reading a specially themed guide to sex positions that will stimulate your slap-the-turkey-and-slurp-the-cranberries shenanigans, a recent Cosmopolitan article by Jill Hamilton, “16 Thanksgiving Sex Positions You’ll be Beyond Grateful For,” provides an illustrated T-Day version of the Kama Sutra. Positions range from “Licking the Beater” and “Get Stuffed” to “The Turkey Trot,” “The Twisted Dinner Roll,” and “The Dessert Course.” This Thanksgiving – and every Thanksgiving – make that every day – be thankful for a healthy sexual relationship with your partner. Your lives and your loving partnership will be better for it. Remember, too, that at Thanksgiving, the table is not the only thing that needs to get laid. Now go butter each other’s biscuits, mash each other’s potatoes, and spread a little extra whipped cream all over yourselves together! Happy Thanksgiving!
