October 6th is National Plus Size Appreciation Day, so we’re talking about body positivity…for ALL bodies. Let’s take a look at some ways we can all spread the love and learn to love ourselves, for those women & men whose beautiful bodies offer a little more to love!
What is body positivity?
Body positivity, per Wikipedia, is:
“A social movement that promotes a positive view of all bodies, regardless of size, shape, skin tone, gender, and physical abilities. Proponents focus on the appreciation of the functionality and health of the human body instead of its physical appearance.”
Basically, it’s that far-out (joking) belief that all bodies are beautiful and all humans are valid, important, and worthy of love no matter what the meat sack that carries them through their days looks like. According to verywellmind.com, depending on who you ask, body positivity can mean:
- Appreciating your body despite your perceived flaws
- Feeling confident about your body
- Loving your body
- Accepting your body’s shape and size
- Enjoying the body you have and not beating yourself up over changes that happen naturally due to aging, pregnancy, or lifestyle choices.
When we possess body positive beliefs like this about ourselves, they carry over to how we perceive and value other people. In other words, body positivity is kind of the opposite of or antidote to sizeism, ableism, racism, weight discrimination, gender discrimination, transphobia, fat shaming, and body hate.
How does one learn body positivity?
Body positive attitudes can be taught in schools by teachers or counsellors, introduced by therapists or other mental health professionals working with individuals with body image issues. Thebodypositive.org is a great source of information and curriculum materials on the subject. Most importantly, these beliefs can and should be modeled by parents to instill them in their children. It’s much easier to be proactive and raise children to naturally be body positive, instead of having to teach them these attitudes later in life.
That being said, it’s never too late to learn body positivity; it just often takes a lot of unlearning negative beliefs and habits first. Many of us were raised with attitudes that can contribute to body hate or fat-shaming platitudes. The good news is, you can always still learn to love (or at least accept with neutrality) your body and those of others.
Why is body positivity important?
Beliefs about body positivity factor directly into our self image and self esteem. Being body positive, especially early in life – body image issues tend to really surface in the middle school years – is important for preventing eating disorders, mental health problems, and low self esteem. Most importantly, our level of body positivity affects our own self-esteem and how we think about and talk to ourselves about our bodies. Raising kids with body positive beliefs also helps prevent bullying and discrimination later on in life.
When we think about all bodies as beautiful and valid no matter what they look like, it helps us to want to get to know people – their true personalities instead of just what we see and may judge them for on face value. What a person’s body looks like usually is the least interesting thing about them, so it helps to operate by a set of beliefs that helps you find the interesting stuff!
How can I learn to be more body positive?
Has reading this brought your own beliefs and behaviors to your awareness? If you’ve realized they are not all aligned with body positivity and you’d like to change that, keep reading. The easiest way to encourage body-positive change in the world is to start with your own attitudes and beliefs about your body.
Love Your Body
- Practice daily affirmations. Find or write some body-positive messages that resonate with you, and read & repeat them to yourself every day. Write them on sticky notes in your bathroom. It can feel cheesy at first, but it does start to make a difference in your thinking when you make it a habit. Affirmations can be particularly effective for your body image when you do them in the mirror…just make sure you’re smiling.
- Do a social media purge. If you follow any celebrities or creators who make you look at yourself and frown every time you see them, hit that unfollow button. It’s impossible to reshape your beliefs about your body being beautiful while being bombarded with constant messaging that it’s bad or wrong.
- Consume body-positive media instead. Fill your TV screens and social feeds with plus-size role models instead. There are plenty of TikTok, Instagram, and X influencers who use body-positive messaging in their content, and spread awareness & acceptance for all bodies, no matter their size or shape. Plus-size celebrities are also opening up about their size and how it has affected them in Hollywood, and sharing positivity, humor, and hope with the world.
- Choose clothes that flatter the figure you have right now. You will always feel more confident in the skin you’re in when you wear clothes that fit you properly. Don’t try to squeeze into too-tight pants or try and hide your curves under clothes that are two sizes too big and look like a tent on you. If you’re in the middle of a weight change journey, there’s nothing wrong with thrifting to find inexpensive clothes since you’re not committed to wearing that size for long.
- Make sure change is for the right reason. If you do want to change your body – either by gaining or losing weight or gaining or toning muscle – be mindful about the reasons you want to make those changes. Doing it because you want to be healthier, enjoy more functionality, or even enjoy sex more are body-positive reasons for change. Doing it just because you want to look better means you may still have some body image issues that need unpacking. Your happiness and how you feel about yourself should not be so inextricably tied to your weight and appearance.
Dress to Caress
Lover’s Lane embraces the slogan ‘Sexy is a Feeling’ and believes body positivity should be for everyone, regardless of shape & size…there are some boudoir fashion choices any plus-size gal can make to help her look & feel even sexier.
While there’s admittedly (and unfortunately) more of a dearth of choice when it comes to plus size lingerie vs. standard sizes at all retailers, there’s no shortage of sensual styles for curvy girls here! Slip into some of these hot little numbers the next time you want to seduce your lover, or whenever you’re just feeling yourself!
Bodystockings
These stretchy, slinky pieces that exist halfway between lingerie & hosiery create a flattering fit on almost every body. They fit snugly enough to hug your every curve perfectly, but stretch enough to fit a wide variety of sizes. Bodystockings come in styles from classic to crotchless. Some have long sleeves or even built-in gloves. Choose a black light reactive one (pictured below) and put on a private plus-size peep show, or get all dressed up in a bodystocking that’s *almost* good enough to go out on the town.
Teddies
No matter your size, teddies are the style of lingerie that pinup girl dreams are made of. Fitting like a one-piece bathing suit but revealing even more, they can be a great gateway piece to even sexier fits. Teddies are often made of super soft materials like satin or silky smooth mesh so your lover won’t be able to keep their hands off of you. Embrace your beautiful body and let a teddy (and your partner) embrace all of you.
Chemises
Similar to their flowier (and often recommended for plus-size divas) cousin, the babydoll, I actually like chemises better for fuller figures. With a more form-fitting, dress-like structure, they sit smoothly against all of your curves and give you a bombshell silhouette. No skirts or ruffles bisecting your body at weird angles or standing off around your hips which can make you look bigger. With perfectly pretty lace details or even chain & embroidery embellishments (pictured below), a chemise – especially with their easily removable separate panty – is the perfect ‘fit for your next beautiful body worship session.
