In the past, you had to search through the back rooms and dark shelves of a good bookstore to learn about the exotic secrets and mysteries of tantric sex. Now, you can find everything you want to know about ancient tantric practices on WebMD. The reasons that you would want to know, however, haven’t changed: Tantric sex melds your spirituality and sexuality into one by emphasizing the power of intimacy during your sexual experiences, whether alone or with a lover.
Should you choose to look it up on WebMD, or most other informative websites or books, you will learn about that ancient approach to intimacy and sexuality that originated in India more than 5,000 years ago. The word “tantra” itself is Sanskrit and means “woven together.” The central point, particularly for people who practice Buddhist and Hindu meditation, is to leverage sex as a way to interweave the physical with the spiritual.
Also central, as explained by WebMD, is that tantra is not purely and solely about sexual pleasure. That’s important to understand when considering attempting different tantric techniques so that you understand the pleasure is not immediate and requires patience and time to fully enjoy the benefits of the time-tested activities and exercises.
“It’s more about celebrating your body and feeling heightened sensuality,” the site explains in its article “What Is Tantric Sex?” “The practice intertwines spirituality, sexuality, and a state of mindfulness. It encourages a sensual experience that may be experienced alone or with a partner. The goal of tantric sex is to achieve spiritual or energetic contact during a sensual experience. This practice is slow and the aim is not always to achieve orgasm. Instead, it’s about feeling a connection either to your partner or to yourself that’s both intense and enlightened. It includes breathing, sounds, and movements to activate sexual energy.”
So, yeah, you’re not just going tantric to get off and get going. True tantric sex takes a serious, long-term commitment of time, concentration, and energy. But that’s the whole purpose. All of that commitment will result in significantly deeper levels of physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy and mind-blowing sexual experiences.
And that’s a reward that you and your lover more than well deserve. When jobs and life seem to be locking down all of your time and energy, you need to work extra hard at making sex a priority, knows everyone who’s ever had a lover, a job, a family, and a life.
“While there’s nothing wrong with the occasional quickie, slower, longer sex can help foster intimacy, emotional connection, and even more orgasms,” state Jenn Sinrich and Gabrielle Kassell in their article “Tantric Sex For Beginners: It’s Not All About The Orgasm” for Women’s Health. “Tantric sex is that long, slow, ‘souls-connecting’ type of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection over all else.”
To enhance their point, they also incorporate a comment from Melissa Cook, an AASECT-certified sex therapist: “It’s sex that’s characterized by its emphasis on deep intimacy, sensuality, and mindfulness.”
Dawn Michael, PhD, certified sexuality counselor, clinical sexologist, and author of My Husband Won’t Have Sex With Me, adds: “The biggest hallmark of tantric sex, though, is intent. Oftentimes, sex tends to prioritize orgasm over all else, but tantric sex is not orgasm-focused, so it works for individuals who may have anxiety about achieving an orgasm too fast or not at all.”
Sinrich and Kassell also emphasize that at the center of the intimacy that stands as the foundation for any tantric intertwining with a partner requires sexual rituals that enable you to connect as lovers. “One biggie: ‘worshipping’ or serving each other,” they declare. “Partners turn the focus on one another through massage, which prolongs and builds arousal, say Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, co-authors of Tantra for Erotic Empowerment and The Essence of Tantric Sexuality.”
Another key to being able to fully enjoy and implement effective tantric sex starts with getting to know your own body first.
Practicing tantra is similar to practicing yoga, we learn in the Healthline article “How to Practice Tantric Sex: 26 Tips for Masturbation and Partner Play.” Tantra is built around a total focus on physical and spiritual awareness. The comprehensive beginners guide informs interested first-time tantra lovers how to prepare your mind, do proper breathing, and how to “build the moment” whether you’re solo or with a partner.
“When you learn and practice tantra, you become more in-tune with your body, what gives it pleasure, and the way it feels pleasure,” the essay explains. “This allows you to pay better attention to your body’s wants and needs and make sure they’re fulfilled. Plus, the energies you channel during tantric sex flow throughout your body and can intensify your orgasm.”
One of the most important facts to mention here is that great, intimate, immersive sex with a partner is good for both of you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
“Medically, when two people make an intimate connection through sex, stress hormones decrease and serotonin increases,” says Marilyn Mitchell, M.D. in her 2012 article about tantric practices in Psychology Today. “This provides a potent internal milieu for optimal health.”
Further, Mitchell writes, “Joining of sexual energies by two partners is purported to bring the highest pleasure and spiritual enlightenment.” And that almost says it all.
Yet, perhaps Marc Allen, author of Tantra for the West: A Guide to Personal Freedom, concisely summarizes the purpose and goals of tantric sex the best: “It’s time we saw sex as the truly sacred art that it is. A deep meditation, a holy communion, and a dance with the force of creation.”