Drinking & Sex

by Kristin T.

November 1, 2021


‘Tis the season for the occasions that tend to revolve around imbibing.  “St. Practice Day” is this weekend, since St. Patrick’s Day falls on a weekday this year (not that this stops people!).  A little later in the spring we come to Cinco De Mayo, and likely tons of bachelor & bachelorette parties and weddings!  There are also lots of sports events & concerts (once they’re not all canceled to prevent the Coronavirus spread).  Drinking alcohol is commonplace at these events, and many feel that a few drinks can really help get the party started…but that might depend on what kind of party you’re trying to have!  If you plan to end your festivities in the bedroom, you may need to rethink your choices around alcohol if you want the best results in the sack.  You’ve probably heard all sorts of information about this topic, but what’s real and what’s made up?  Let’s take a look at what alcohol really does to the sex life of  both men and women, since it affects them both differently.

Effects of Alcohol on Sex in Women:

It might make you hornier:

Ask any woman who drinks if she has a certain type of alcoholic drink that makes her horny, and she probably has an answer for you.  For me, it’s red wine.  A glass or two of certain beverages may increase a woman’s sexual desire.  Drinking spikes testosterone levels (the male sex hormone) which contributes to increased feelings of sexual desire and arousal, but if you drink too much, the desire is precisely where it ends.

Your brain wants it more than your body:

After a few drinks, a woman might feel really horny and might even say she’s really horny, but by the time she gets between the sheets, her body is singing a different tune.  Even one drink too many can contribute to cognitive, behavioral, and physiological slowdowns, including a decreased genital response.  So your brain might be ready to go, but your body is like ‘nah’.  Drinking decreases the blood flow down there, which makes it harder to get in the mood, harder to become naturally wet and ready, and…

It’s harder to orgasm:

All of those depressive effects of alcohol on your brain and your genitals can lead to a (temporary) form of female orgasmic dysfunction.  While other conditions, such as chronic depression, can cause orgasmic dysfunction, drinking too much is probably the most common trigger of it.  Basically, this just means it will take you longer to climax, your orgasm won’t be as intense as you’re used to, and you might not be able to orgasm at all.  So if you want your evening to end with fireworks for both partners, drink in moderation, sure, but don’t overdo it!  Your better orgasm will be worth it!

Effects of Alcohol on Sex in Men:

It can be a real boner killer:

Sorry, fellas…if you’ve heard of “Whiskey Dick”, it’s a real thing…and it’s not just whiskey that can cause it.  Drinking even a little too much alcohol can make it harder to…well…get hard.  Just like it does for a woman’s genitals, booze decreases blood flow to your penis, which makes it challenging to get and maintain an erection.  The alcohol also acts as a depressant on your central nervous system, so you don’t feel things as intensely, which might lead to the most ‘meh’ foreplay of your life, again harshing the hard-on.  Drinking can increase angiotensin – that’s the hormone linked to erectile dysfunction.  While these effects usually aren’t long-lasting, regular heavy drinking can cause permanent damage and erectile dysfunction.

Ready to go, but take it slow:

Just like in women, a drink or two may make your super horny and increase your sexual desire.  Have even one more than that, though, and you’ll start suffering the opposite effects…low sex drive, erectile problems, and difficulty finishing (more on that next).  Drinking too much also lowers inhibitions in both men and women, but studies have shown that men are more likely to engage in risky behaviors, sexually and otherwise, when impaired.  Definitely slow down and think about your choices from the moment you take your first sip, and rein in any bad idea bears before they get too far.

Oh, come on! :

While having just a few alcoholic beverages shouldn’t hurt your ability to orgasm and ejaculate, drinking heavily can. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause delayed ejaculation, which means it can take longer than 30 minutes for you to cum, even with heavy sexual stimulation, or you may not be able to ejaculate at all.  If this is not the ending you want for your evening, just be careful not to overdo it.

What can you do?

So, you want to have your booze, but sexytime, too?  The key to all of this is “everything in moderation”.  Alcohol tolerance is dependent on your body weight, genetics, and some other factors, and you definitely need to know your limit and not exceed it.  For most people, a drink or two will be just fine, and it may even increase their sex drive.  After that, though, it’s a pretty steep slope down into boring-town when it comes to your sex life.  If you do overindulge but still want to give your sweetie the night of their life, there are a few things you can do.  First of all, MAKE. SURE. YOU. HAVE. CONSENT.  Remember that part about lowered inhibitions and risky behavior?  Whether we’re talking about a date, a girl you just met on the dance floor, a long-time partner, or your spouse…if they’re too impaired to give you consent, that means you don’t have consent…don’t do it! Don’t forget your rules about practicing safe sex, either.

If you do both consent and decide to go for it after you’ve been drinking, using lube is a necessity to reduce friction and make it feel better for both of you.  Take things slow and don’t forget the importance of foreplay…it will help both of you become more aroused and get the blood flowing to where it needs to be.  Guys, if you’re having a hard time staying hard when inebriated, you can try a c-ring to maintain a firm erection (some have vibrating bullets so she’ll enjoy it too!), or an arousal gel may help increase the blood flow and sensitivity of your penis for maximum enjoyment, and hopefully none of that pesky delayed ejaculation.  Ladies, there are great arousal gels for you, too.  Apply them right to your clitoris since you may need a little help increasing the blood flow so you can have full sensation and no trouble reaching orgasm.  Remember to stay hydrated, and get some sugar back into your bloodstream with juice or soda.  If you’re not hungover in the morning, hopefully you’ll be ready to go again!  Just remember to pay attention to and stay within your boundaries, and you can have a great time at the bar AND in the bedroom!

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