Funny Boning: The Importance of Humor in Sex & Love

by Kristin T.

April 1, 2023


Ah, April Fool’s Day. Love it or hate it, it has a worthwhile place in the hall of holidays as a reminder for us to cut loose, be silly, and laugh a little. Whether you’re a lover of pranks & practical jokes or sarcasm & dark humor, everyone has some sort of sense of humor…and it may help if your lover has a similar one. Read on for some important ways laughing together is good for the soul…and the sex!

When asked to name important qualities or personality traits one looks for in a mate, sense of humor is almost always one of the first ones listed. Us humans hold it pretty universally important that our lover can make us laugh…and laugh at us and with us in return. Extensive research as shown that humor heavily influences who we start…and stay in…romantic relationships with, and why. While we won’t go into all that here – check out this article on The Inquisitive Mind if you’re interested in reading more about it – read on as we drop some ways that a shared sense of humor is such an important relationship feature, and how regularly laughing with your romantic partner can make your sex & love life better than ever!

1. It affirms your compatibility as a couple.

The things we joke about and laugh at are often heavily influenced by our upbringing, our hobbies & interests, our current emotional state, and even our politics. Just finding someone funny can often start a relationship, but in order to keep it happy and healthy, you both need to like (and not like) to joke about the same things. For instance, if I met someone who thought holocaust jokes and ableist slurs were hilarious, I would pretty quickly realize we had very little in common. This can inform our early dating decisions and enhance and deepen our relationships that last for the long-term. Being able to laugh at your lover’s similar style of humor means you’re both still compatible and on the right path in your relationship.

2. It’s great for your emotions.

Having a good humorous rapport with your partner goes a long way toward increasing positive emotions and feelings of happiness. Sharing a laugh is a great stress-reliever, and icebreaker when things are tense, and it’s just fun! There is even a physiological effect. When you laugh, your endocrine glands produce those feel-good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin that increase feelings of love, calm, and happiness.

3. It brings enhanced communication & intimacy to your relationship.

Having a great shared sense of humor with your partner is important for all aspects of your communication. Knowing you can talk about even fairly serious topics with an air of humor that they will understand and respond to makes those tough talks less scary. Similar humor styles will also allow you to develop inside jokes over time, that you can drop at opportune times when you see your lover needs a cheer-up, or when you just want to see them smile.

4. It can make the awkward sex stuff…not.

Let’s face it, sex isn’t always pretty. Sometimes stuff happens that can make it goofy, ugly, or downright gross. Being able to laugh at each other out of a place of love, and laugh at yourself, without feeling bad about anything, allows you to just laugh at the funny and weird stuff that happens and just keep going. So the next time one of you farts during sex, or falls off the bed in the heat of the moment while trying a new position, laugh it off and get right back at it, champ!

5. It can help us solve problems.

Studies have shown that couples who have compatible senses of humor, and use more humor when talking through conflicts in their relationships, have more long-term happiness and commitment than those who don’t. Being able to infuse touchy situations with a joke you know will land well, or make them smile with an intimate inside joke, can make even the most difficult relationship challenges easier to weather…together.

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