Pleasure at Any Age

by Kristin T.

November 1, 2021


While younger people would often prefer not to think about older people doing the horizontal tango, it’s happening, we assure you…and that’s a good thing! If you want a new perspective, simply think about yourself…do YOU want to be able to enjoy yourself sexually long into your golden years?  Of course you do, so don’t get down on others for doing what comes naturally to humans just because they’ve reached a certain age.  Sexual desire and enjoyment of sexual pleasure don’t have expiration dates!  Read on for some tips that can keep you loving love well into your senior years, because you can and should continue to enjoy whatever feels good to you long into your Shady Pines days!

It Gets Better

Ideally, your sex life should mature with you like a fine wine, getting better with age.  After all, with age comes experience, and experience is a good thing when we’re talking about sex, right?  If there’s one giant plus to sex as a senior, it’s that you know what you want by then!  Long gone are your days of experimenting and endless bedroom failures because something new just didn’t do it for you.  By the time you’re in your 50s, 60s, and 70s, you know exactly what works for you sexually and you can go right for that!

This doesn’t mean your sex life should get stuck in a rut, though.  The old phrase “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” definitely does not apply when it comes to sex.  No matter your age, if you want to try something new to spice things up in the bedroom, try it! You’re also never too old for sex toys, either, whether you use them on yourself, your partner, or both of you together!  Maintain open communication with your partner about what you like, don’t like, and want to try.  Making sure you’re on the same page when it comes to sex becomes more important than ever.  

Intimacy Matters

As we grow older, our connections with other people become more important to us than ever.  This means our emotional connection with our romantic partner becomes a very important aspect of our sex life.  While our desire for sex and the frequency we used to enjoy may naturally decrease with age, maintaining emotional intimacy with our partners can help keep our sex drive at a healthy level.  

Remember that not all roads of intimacy have to lead to intercourse.  It’s just as important to engage in those little daily reminders of the intimate connection you share, such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, dancing, and laughing together.  You may find that as you age, while sex is fun and important, you can gain just as much pleasure from sharing hand & foot massages, long embraces while kissing, or just lying close together in bed.  These simple intimate acts can help to redefine sex and pleasure for both of you.        

Mind over Body

It is no secret that our bodies change as we age, and sometimes those changes are simply not conducive to us continuing to lead our most amazing sex lives…but there are workarounds that can help to mitigate almost all of those age-related sexual difficulties.  This is where experimentation comes back into play.  In addition to speaking to your doctor, try some of the following recommendations if you or your partner experience any of these issues as you age:

Vaginal dryness:

The hormonal changes of menopause can mean women have a harder time maintaining the natural vaginal lubrication that makes sexual intercourse possible and pleasurable.  While this may be solved with more attention to sexually exciting forms of foreplay, the simplest fix is just to use a water-based lubricant every time you have sex.      

Erectile Dysfunction:

This is a very common condition that can stem from anything from heart disease to medications you take, but an ED diagnosis isn’t a death sentence for your sex life.  Pharmaceuticals prescribed by your doctor such as Viagra may help, but you can also try herbal supplements or topical creams which may help you get and maintain an erection.  Foreplay is important, too, and some of it can be in private; many men with ED experience great success by using a penis pump for a few minutes before sex.  The pump dramatically increases blood flow to the penis, and may be just the kick it needs to have no problem getting hard again.

Bone & joint discomfort:

As we grow older, unfortunately our bodies just can’t quite move like they used to.  Whether it’s due to arthritis or just overuse, certain sexual positions which used to come naturally may be a painful hassle now.  You can regain some sexual freedom with the help of sex furniture and positioning aids. A simple cushion like the Jaz Motion can help adjust your angles for sex, and can contribute to an easy rocking motion when you need to give those hips a break. A bolster cushion like the Liberator Whirl can be used in countless ways to make intercourse or oral sex easier and more comfortable for everyone.  

Painful intercourse:

This problem is commonly experienced by women of ALL ages, unfortunately.  If you’re experiencing painful sex, try what all the cool kids are using these days and get hip to CBD! CBD intimate oils like Foria or Salterrae use broad spectrum hemp oils to soothe your skin and relax your vaginal muscles, leading to less of a painful ordeal.  If you think your vaginal pain with sex is simply because it has been awhile, you can also try a vaginal dilator to gradually get used to penetration again.  

General wellness:

If our bodies aren’t physically healthy, it can be very hard to remain sexually healthy.  As you age, it’s more important than ever to see your doctor for yearly physicals and any recommended tests, such as colonoscopies or mammograms.  Take any prescribed medications exactly like you’re supposed to; skipping doses of pretty much anything can throw your whole system off kilter.  Men and women alike should feel comfortable talking to their doctor about anything, including your sex life.  Your doc may be able to find an underlying condition causing your sexual issues, and may be able to offer something to help.  By the time you’re in your golden years, you know your own body…if something feels off, ask!  

Work with your partner to maintain healthy eating routines and stay hydrated.  A balanced and healthy lifestyle leads to a healthier sex life, too!  Studies have shown that couples who have sex more frequently are generally healthier and may even live longer!  While sex is a great workout, get plenty of other exercise as well; even a simple evening walk together is enough to help keep your bodies healthy enough to continue having amazing sex at any age.

Hopefully these tips and tricks can help you and your lover age gracefully and maintain a happy and fulfilling sex life.  Don’t start thinking your libido has expired until you’ve exhausted all options!  Couples of younger ages may be able to benefit from some of these tips, too, if you just need something to reignite the spark in your love life.  No matter your age, remember the importance of connection and communication with your partner, and you’ll both be sharing many romantic and passionate nights in the bedroom for years to come.  

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