11/11 (because of the proliferation of 1’s) is celebrated around the world and Singles Day. Despite what that old song says, though, one doesn’t have to be the loneliest number! We thought we’d take some time today to post some positive ways to celebrate yourself and your singlehood. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with flying solo, whether it’s a lifelong lifestyle choice or just your current situation. As humans, though, we do all have need for love, acceptance, and belonging, so why not start close to home? Try these tricks to find new ways to love yourself, love your body, and love your life every day! Whether single or partnered, there’s no reason not to spend time nurturing your inner badass!
Enjoy some Educational Enrichment
When I was 15, I wanted to take a mandolin class offered by my local community college. I don’t know why; I just thought the mandolin seemed like a cool instrument, and fairly easy to play since I didn’t have the strongest musical talent. It would have at least made a cool party trick someday, or who knows, I could be tearing up the Renaissance Festival circuits today! My parents said no, implying it was “useless” and “a waste of time”, and mostly just throwing up their hands and asking “why??” Why? Because I wanted to!
One of the best ways to celebrate and love yourself is to pursue any interests, activities, or hobbies that come across your radar and interest you, because really, why NOT?? Check out adult enrichment offerings at your local colleges, through community education programs, at gyms, music schools, or museums…the possibilities are endless. From playing guitar to cooking, wine making to martial arts, and swimming to sketching, peruse those catalogs and websites and find something that gets you excited…then go for it! Dive in wholeheartedly, show up to learn, and keep an open mind to all sorts of new knowledge & experiences.
And besides, taking a communal class, regularly visiting an artistic space, or volunteering with other people who share similar interests can be a great way to meet someone…if that’s something you’re trying to do!
Invest in your Pleasure
Everyone masturbates. We don’t like to talk about it in polite company, but I can assure you it’s happening. Masturbation is a very important way to practice self-love and self-care…especially if you’re single. Your body still has sexual needs and desires, and who better to fulfil them than you?
Some people can get by with just their hands, but sometimes it’s fun to have a little mechanical help, too, if you get my drift. Sex toys like vibrators and strokers have come a long way in technology over the last decade or so, and owning a few decent ones will pay dividends as they help you get off over and over…and over again. And while you can easily get by (and get off) with toys at a low to medium price point, if you want a truly mind-blowing experience, invest in a luxury toy or two! The sticker price may be a little shocking at first, but so is the technology involved in these gorgeous silicone powerhouses. We promise, if you invest in a high-end self-love device like a Womanizer or a Fun Factory vibe, there will be NO buyer’s remorse!
And besides, as long as you take good care of your sex-tech investment, like by always cleaning it with toy cleaner and using it with water-based lube, that beautiful object of self-pleasure will last you for years to come, and will prove itself well worth the price after the hundredth orgasm it gives you!
“Table for one, please?” Why not? In today’s society, there is absolutely no reason to be afraid or ashamed to go out to dinner or out on the town alone. You don’t need a love interest to treat you to your favorite dinner for a special occasion (or no occasion at all), nor do you have to have a partner to take you to brunch on a Saturday morning. And hey, sometimes it’s easier to choose where to eat when you don’t have someone else to agree with!
Take yourself out to where YOU want to go, ask for a table for one, or a seat at the bar if that would help you feel less alone – barflies are usually friendly! Try an old favorite or a place across town you’ve never been before but have been wanting to try. Somewhere with a view is great, or take your favorite book or tablet game to occupy you in between courses. Order your favorite meal, a glass of wine or a cocktail, dessert…whatever really makes you happy, and then just enjoy it!
If you still don’t love the idea of going out on your own, the internet is chock full of ways to treat yourself without getting out of your pajamas. Order some yummy comfort food on GrubHub or DoorDash, open a streaming app to watch your favorite movie, and treat yourself to a little retail therapy by shopping on your favorite site. Treating yourself doesn’t always have to be food-related, but sometimes just indulging in your favorite bites can be remarkably healing for the soul…and you can enjoy it all by yourself!
One great way to celebrate yourself is to take some time learning to market yourself. Whether you want to glow up your resume, make a new dating profile, practice your elevator pitch for a new business idea, or start selling goods or services you provide online, devoting some effort into making those things AWESOME and truly reflective of you is a great place to start. Hire a professional resume writer or editor, have a service design your website, get professional headshots taken, or invest in equipment and infrastructure than can truly allow you to put your best foot forward with your business. The customers, employers, suitors…whoever you’re trying to attract…will surely come running!
If you’re not sure what glowing keywords and phrases to use when writing about yourself in any of these venues, make sure to ask your friends. Their opinion of you is often going to be a lot more real and genuine…and likely much kinder…than your own thoughts and self-talk about yourself.
Find your Inner Fashionista
Who says sexy lingerie is just for impressing others? Flirting up your fashion sense and changing up your wardrobe from time to time can be a fun way to boost your mood and enhance your confidence and self-image. Practice some self-love by purging all the clothes that no longer serve you; don’t just limit it to your top-drawer items. Underwear needs to go in the trash bin, but decent outerwear can be donated, so no need to feel bad. Keep only what you love, then find some fun and flattering upgrades that fit your present personality to a T…because that changes over time just like fashions do!
Swap those ratty flannel PJs for a sexy soft romper, or those holey boxers for some luxurious bamboo lounge pants. A slinky and sexy sleep chemise or a basic black satiny menswear-inspired robe will always fit the bill for comfort, and for looking sexy…for you and you alone! Having clothes you feel great about…even if no one ever sees them outside of your house…can be an important self-confidence booster and a great way to take care of YOU!
You can even dare to bare more with your fashion choices beyond the bedroom, too! Toss on your favorite skinny jeans and a flowy cardigan over a kinky wet-look or lavish lace corset, and people will really take notice. For a night out with the girls or with romance in mind, zip into a flirty LBD, or throw on a just-enough-coverage hot purple number with a flirty fringe to make jaws drop. Don’t be afraid to go wild with your look! Tights, boots, or a denim jacket can help take even the boldest, barely there looks from day to night with ease, and the compliments you get in your new ‘fits will leave you glowing!
Indulge in some Interactive Reading Time
Another great way to invest in your self-love and self-pleasure is to spend some downtime with a good book. While the latest mystery novel or beach read can be fun, I had something more interactive in mind…like a book about self-pleasure that can teach you new tips and tricks about how to masturbate.
As intuitive and natural as it may seem, we can all learn something new when it comes to Sex for One! Plenty of sexperts out there have identified tons of mind-blowing ways to masturbate, and they’ve put them all down in writing. Whether you want to use the Women’s Anatomy of Arousal like a treasure map to find your most secret pleasure points, or focus on that all-powerful clit and new ways to please yourself there…there’s something for everyone! Why just read when you can practice what you’re reading about as it comes up? You might just discover a new favorite pastime.