Men, if you have heard the term P-spot, you probably know P stands for prostate. There’s a good chance you’ve been sitting on yours for most of your life and never knew that P also stands for pleasure. Intense, body-blasting, orgasmic pleasure. In fact, some people refer to it as the male G-spot.
Of course, the G spot is easier to discuss with women because: 1.) It’s gotten a lot of good press in the past decade or two. 2.) It’s not anal sex. Anal sex still carries this taboo that people are afraid to talk about. Or maybe they’re afraid to admit that they like it. Or maybe they’re afraid to try it because they’re afraid that it’s going to hurt. But we’re here to tell you, don’t be afraid. It’s time to stand up for your right to enjoy anal stimulation and pleasure through prostate massage. Or sit down. Or lie down. In fact, lying down makes it easier to find your P-spot in the first place.
But let’s back up for a second. What exactly is the prostate? It is that walnut-sized gland that produces much of the fluid in your semen. Located between the base of your penis and inside the front of your rectum, between your bladder and your penis, the prostate surrounds your urethra, the tube through which your body empties urine from your bladder. That’s the anatomical low down.
Getting back to the pleasure side of the prostate, when that gland is massaged or stimulated by fingers or toys, it can lead to the mind-blowing masturbation or partner-stimulation experience of prostate orgasm. While some men can experience an orgasm through prostate play alone, most typically employ prostate play to intensify their orgasms during manual or oral sex. Now, if you have not had this experience yet and would like to try, it’s very easy to find your prostate. Your body almost guides you directly there. Easiest route?
- Remove your clothes.
- Find a comfortable place like your bed.
- Lubricate your finger. (Make sure it’s clean and your nails are clipped.)
- Assume a horizontal position on your back.
- Slowly and carefully insert your finger into your anus and slightly curve it towards your belly button. You shouldn’t have to travel far to find that little guy.
- Let your journey towards prostate pleasure ensue!
The prostate can also be massaged externally in the area between your anus and your testicles known as the perineum. Additionally, once you are more comfortable with touching and stimulating that region of your body, you can apply a vibrator there or internally to excite the prostate. There is a diverse range of feelings you can experience in that area, but give it time, and explore it in different ways until you know what turns you on the most. There are many adult toy products available now and a wide range of lubricants.
Always remember: You do want to be lubricated; you do not want to be numb. There is too much risk of injury if you can’t feel the penetration of a finger or a toy for the stimulation of the prostate gland. The lubricants and gels available today relax your anus and rectum so that it’s easier and more comfortable to insert a finger or a dildo, for example. Certain lubes even repair tiny tears that some of the toys may cause, so those are products that you want to try. Again, just to be safe, take your time. When you are ready and have located the prostate with your fingers, start with the small, comfortable and hygienic sex toys that are available. Many of the toys for prostate stimulation are gently curved to make it easier to reach the prostate. Then gradually work your way up or stop when you find the toy(s) that feel good and work best for you or you and your partner.
One of the best ways to learn about the advantages of P-spot stimulation for men – and the opportunities for next-level orgasms – is to try prostate milking. That particular sex act does require a willing partner, since they are the ones who serve as the “milker”, who should make sure their fingernails are trimmed and their fingers are well-lubricated before entering the man’s non-self-lubricating rectal region. And it’s not called milking because semen resembles milk. Rather, it refers to the motion of the fingers in massaging the prostate. What you are actually milking is prostate prostatic juices. The white semen makes up only a small portion of the ejaculate. For the man or “milkee,” a few precautions are also necessary. While the area near the opening of the rectum is usually devoid of stool, the man should ensure he is clean in that area, which can be done in the shower by inserting a finger or a toy to check. Upon slowly inserting a finger or two, the milker should feel for that walnut-shape behind the front wall of the rectum that is caused by the two lobes of the prostate. Some experts recommend starting by massaging the left lobe and then moving to the right lobe. However, one of the most important things to remember during prostate milking is to communicate throughout the process to make sure what you are doing feels comfortable and good for the man. No worries if it takes a few tries to get everything working smoothly. “There is for sure a steep learning [curve] to prostate massage,” says Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, a Urologist at Orlando Health, in a 2018 article in Cosmopolitan, “Everything You Need to Know About Milking a Guy’s Prostate.” Many experts – and practitioners – believe prostate massage significantly increases the intensity of a man’s orgasm. If nothing else that alone should stimulate you to at least try finding fun through your buns.