Holidays should always be fun to celebrate, right? Especially holidays where lovers can say things like, “Hey, honey, it’s time to slurp my gherkin!” or “Come on, baby! Eat a peach!”
And that is exactly what couples should declare, whisper, or snicker to each other this Sunday, September 25, aka National Oral Sex Day. And oral exchanges between lovers are certainly worth setting aside a national day of celebrating, says Gigi Engle, a sex and relationships writer for Thrillist and other publications.
“Oral sex shouldn’t fall by the wayside just because you’ve found your groove with someone you really love,” she wrote in a 2020 article “4 Reasons Oral Sex Is Good For A Healthy Relationship” in Ravishly.com. “Oral sex is really good for healthy relationships and shouldn’t be left on the back burner.”
Why more head, less body once in a while? Because, Engle believes, oral sex is purely about giving to your partner.
“In my opinion, oral sex is so much more intimate than penetrative sex,” she writes. “In most cases, you can’t give casual head and have an orgasm. When you give someone a blowjob or perform cunnilingus, you’re not getting anything out of this experience. To me, this shows that you genuinely care about this person… about his or her pleasure.”
And you certainly want to celebrate with more than just uttering funky sexual slang and erotic euphemisms to each other. That’s a good start. Just so your clear about the fact that you are horny and want a special treat that involves lips and tongues and mouths licking and sucking and, and, uh, em – Oh! You want to celebrate National Oral Sex Day appropriately! Yeah, yeah, that’s it.
So let’s take a closer, more intimate look at some tips and tricks to give good head or bob on the knob or munch a box lunch or dine at the Y. Just want to keep your euphemism inventory fully stocked.
After emphatically confirming that yes, oral sex most definitely qualifies as real sex, Cosmopolitan provides a comprehensive and compelling deep dive – definitely don’t pardon the pun, all you divers – into the art of oral sex. To confirm this reality, they quote certified sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD, LMFT, a member of Dame’s Clinical Board in the article: “The biggest myth about oral sex, from a general perspective, is that oral sex is foreplay, not sex,” she says.
“In fact, as Richmond notes,” the article continues, “many sex experts have ditched the term ‘foreplay’ altogether in favor of a more ~evolved~ understanding of sex that incorporates and values all forms of erotic touch and play, not just penetrative ones that end in orgasm. So whether oral sex is the main event or just part of any given sexual experience, it is a completely valid sex act in and of itself.”
Cosmo’s editors love good, old-fashioned oral sex “because literally what’s better than using your mouth to get all up close and personal with the object of your horniest affections?” the venerable venereal ventures experts proclaim in their April 2022 article, ”65 Must-Know Tips to Elevate Your Oral Sex Game.”
The three fundamentals they emphasize before listing their lengthy list of tip-licking tips are be conscious that STIs can be transmitted orally, consent for any oral undertakings is absolutely mandatory, and possibly most important is cleanliness is Job No. 1 for everyone to enjoy oral time to the fullest.
The following are a few favorite, lesser-known tricks to enhance oral engagements:
1) Give your bedmate a ‘slowjob’: “Quick movements are great and all, but sometimes you gotta go reeeeeeal slow,” Cosmo’s article advises. “If your partner has a penis, take between 15 and 30 seconds to slowly slide your mouth from base to tip. And on vulvas, the same concept applies—lick from the top to the bottom of the clit as slowly as possible, then gently breathe some warm air along the wet path you just created. This is a powerful (advanced) technique that can heighten sensation for both parties.
2) Keep going after they’ve stopped coming. Women can have additional orgasms; men will enjoy an ongoing onslaught of shivers even after they’ve ejaculated.
3) Give your girl a nose job. In other words, let your nose do some of the stimulating. “If you’re going down on a vulva, use the tip of your nose to slide right inside or roll around the head of the clit,” one of Cosmo’s experts suggests. “Let them grind against your face as you nod up and down, back and forth, or all around.”
4) To make your genitalia and bodily fluids sweeter and tastier, favor eating sweeter foods such as fruit and fruit juices rather than more pungent items like meats and asparagus.
When you want credible sexpertise, it doesn’t hurt to consult adult stars once in a while, so here are some of their well-tested tips:
For men to go down on the women in their lives, here’s a fun, goofy YouTube with porn stars demonstrating with food items.
For women to go down on the men in their lives, here’s the fun, goofy version on YouTube also employing foods to demonstrate. (Note: Popsicles provide a tasty surrogate shaft, but they melt.)
Like all sexual activities, there should be clear and direct communications between partners. Especially when slipping and sliding into oral sex.Michael Castleman addresses it in his article “Secrets of Fabulous Fellatio: A woman’s guide” in Psychology Today: “Men should feel free to direct women’s oral explorations in ways that heighten their arousal,” he writes. “But gentle requests are usually more welcome than terse commands.”
He also cites the sage advice of Fair Oaks, California, sex therapist Louanne Weston, Ph.D.: “Remember, fellatio is a gift, not something you demand of a slave.”
Of course, women should feel free to do the same thing. Give your lover personal guidance when he’s going down to vulva town so that they leave you moaning and crying, “Come on, baby, bite my fire!”