May is Massage Month, so there’s never been a better time to celebrate the art of the relaxing (and intimate) erotic massage. As we continue to recover from a two-year period when there wasn’t a whole lot of touching going on, it’s time for everyone – especially couples – to rediscover the essential value of massages.
The need for human touch remains one of our most basic and primal needs. So, with other types of opportunities to touch in our lives still minimal or on hold, couples in loving relationships can serve as the one place where unconditional touching is free to occur.
“Research shows that one of the most effective ways to benefit from the therapeutic benefits of touch is through massage,” said Nicole K. McNichols Ph.D. in her Psychology Today article “The Vital Importance of Human Touch” from August 2021. “Massage therapy has been shown to ease depression, increase attentiveness and enhance immune function (Lindgren, Jacobsson & Lamas, 2014).”
History tells us that massage therapy began to be practiced roughly 5,000 years ago, dating back to 3,000 BCE or earlier in India, where it gained followers as a sacred system of natural healing.
Used by Hindus in Ayurveda “life health” medicine, massage therapy was a practice passed down through generations to heal injuries, relieve pain, and prevent and cure illnesses, according to a Florida Academy history of massage therapy website. “Promoters of Ayurveda believe that illness and disease are caused when people are out of sync with the environment,” the site explains. “Massage is believed to restore the body’s natural and physical balance so that it can heal naturally.”
Lovers, fortunately, can take massage to places that medical massage therapists don’t really deliver, since they can make it slow, sexy, loving and erotically stimulating in one of the most desired forms of foreplay.
So, let’s take a look at several key steps you need to know and practice to make an erotic massage a complete, warm, beautiful and highly charged experience for your lover. The last thing you want to do is give your partner a speedy shoulder rub and then jump their bones. If you choose to give them an erotic massage, you have to fully commit to it.
Step 1 – Give it Time:
Identify a block of time that you are both available for the entire morning, afternoon, or evening, so that the massage is the priority and will not be rushed so that it can be done correctly and thoroughly. Everyone is pretty confident about what will transpire afterward, but that shouldn’t be the focus. What happens will happen organically. And don’t think for a second the ancient Indians or Asians thought any differently when they suggested it to their romantic partners.
Step 2 – Establish the Mood:
For simple starters, have your partner disrobe and lie face-down on a towel or firm bed. You should be dressed comfortably and in a sexy, attractive ways, whatever that means to you. Dim the lights. If there’s no dimmer – or even if there is – buy some nice, scented candles. Play some relaxing music. It can be jazz or classical or Brazilian as long as it’s something that you know your partner finds soothing. “If you really want to step your game up, buy a mini humidifier off of Amazon and pour some essential oils in there,” advises Zachary Zane in the October 3, 2019 issue of Men’s Health.
Another excellent piece of advice he offers for the entire erotic massage experience is that slow and steady wins the race. It’s not meant to be a quick and careless encounter. Pour your love and affection in through your fingers!
Step 3 – Use Erotic Oils and Lotions:
While your bare hands can feel quite lovely on your lover’s skin, massage masters recommend incorporating erotic oils and lotions that will let your hands and fingers glide and slide sensuously over the landscape of skin, muscles and nerve endings throughout their body. Select oils and lotions intended to enhance sexual pleasure, such as anything from the beautiful Shunga line of kissable creams & seductively scented oils. Make sure you warm them up a little first (you can warm a little puddle in your hands, or put the bottle in a cup of warm water before you begin) so you don’t shock your partner back and damage the soothing effect. If you’d rather skip the warming step, you can even get candles that melt into oils!
Remember that a little bit goes a long way; use too much massage oil or lotion and you’ll just make a mess. While most purpose-made massage oils will wash out decently from sheets, towels, and clothes, this may be a good time to lay down an absorbent Fascinator throw to protect your bed from any excess oil.
Step 4 – Take It Nice and Slow:
The most effective erotic massages start slowly and build to a, well, climax. You want your partner to become completely relaxed before entering any danger (aka, erogenous) zones. Let the first 15 or 20 minutes be about relaxing their every muscle – but keep your hands off of their vagina, penis, or butt, though a swift brush with your hand or hair can be fun and signal what lies ahead.
“Use the heel of your hand to make continuous fluid movements and work the whole length of the muscle,” says Susan Findlay, director of the North London School of Sports Massage, in the Men’s Health article. “Make sure you’re taking your time and focusing on each muscle before moving to the next (at least two minutes per area).”
Step 5 – Massage Every Muscle, Then Start Teasing:
Now, you want to drive them to the point of total excitement, rubbing around their naughty parts such as their breasts but not their nipples, or in the crease of their thighs, not their genitalia. Keep their ascension to the last moments of arousal as prolonged as possible.
Step 6 – Start Massaging Their Private Parts:
When even the lightest touch elicits deep and heavy sighing or moaning, it’s time to slide in to direct contact with your lover’s vaginal lips or penis. For the woman, slowly and gently stimulate her clitoris; for the man, give him a light and slow hand job. Then gradually increase the stimulation with digital penetration or a toy for her or firmer and faster hand job for him. It’s okay to include the breasts, testicles, or any other favorite erogenous zones to really put things over the top.
Step 7 – Help Them Finish:
Don’t leave your partner hanging at the end of the rope…bring them to orgasm. At this point, they will be completely relaxed. This is when it’s time for you to get naked, if you aren’t already, and cuddle with them. Talk dirty or whisper softly and lovingly throughout, as hearing a lover’s voice can be incredibly simulating, too.
Whatever happens next will be all the more pleasurable and satisfying for you both.