When is a kiss more than just a kiss? When you get creative with it, of course! In honor of Kiss Your Mate Day on April 28th, we’re exploring the art of the lip lock. Why do humans love to kiss their romantic partners so much, and what can we do to make that kissing even more romantic? Read on as we briefly explore why we kiss, then check out some tips on how to kiss to take your make-out sessions to surprising and sensual new heights.
There are two main theories as to why people like to kiss: One may make you smile with wonder; the other may completely gross you out. The first is that babies develop an innate preference for lip touching while breastfeeding, which is a reflex innate to everyone.
The other, anthropologists tell us, is known as “premastication food transfer.” Yeah. You know where we’re going with this. Similar to birds or other animals, mothers of our ancient ancestors most likely pre-chewed food for their babies, and transferred it directly into their mouths.
Fortunately for you, you are no longer a baby. You can kiss whoever you want however, whenever, and wherever you desire. No pre-chewed food required, thankfully.
On the ‘fun fact’ side, you can lose weight by kissing. Kissercise, however, does require a commitment of time and effort. For example, you can only burn 26 calories in a one-minute kiss. You have no excuses if it’s dark, either, because human brains possess special neurons that help people locate each other’s lips in the dark.
Men should know – and women should let it be known to their male partners – that kissing may even be related to their income. According to Ruth McConnell, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of The Kissing Cure, a man who kisses his lady goodbye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than a guy who doesn’t.
If you are a dedicated seeker of kissing knowledge and history, you can read a great academic interpretation of osculation: Is the Romantic-Sexual Kiss a Near Human Universal?
One more consideration before we discuss some specific kissing methods that are highly effective ways to snog, smack, peck, and plant a plethora of contrasting kisses on your lover’s lips. First you want to create a romantic, sensual mood that will enhance and intensify your kissing adventures. Start by attending to the five senses in your space, advises Michelle Herzog, LMFT, CST, for an April 2022 article in mindbodygreen.com.
“Getting creative with sensory experiences like incorporating sultry scents, listening to sexy music, and so on can expand your sexual experience,” she says. “Consider bringing in softer lighting and make sure that the space is clean and free of things like pet hair [or] clothes all over the floor to enhance the sexual space and make it free of distractions.”
Then you’ll be ready to think about some serious lip locking, clever canoodling, and naughty necking.
Creative Kiss Styles:
The Spiderman Kiss:
Even if you aren’t suspended from a building, this one can really get your old Spidey senses tingling. Lie down at the end of a bed, couch or chair and let your head hang off the end. Then your partner sits on the floor facing you and kisses you. Even though your eyes are open, you can’t really see the other person, so your focus is on enjoying the tastes and sensations of kissing.
Kiss during a warm, gentle rainfall, a soft snowfall, or, if you’re really daring, kiss under water while swimming in a private pool or quiet body of water. Being submerged adds an element of danger that increases the sensuality of the connection. But don’t forget to come up for a breath now and then.
The Quick Surprise Kiss:
Catch your lover off-guard and really zing them with a real lip-collider. You never want your kisses to be routine, and coming in hot out of the blue can get the blood pumping in all the right places.
The French Focus:
Start slow but build your kisses that become more and more focused on nibbling and gently biting or sucking on your lover’s lower lip and tongue. Think about adding some of your partner’s favorite flavors to your mouth – chocolate, mint, raspberry – whatever they enjoy tasting to deepen the heavenly experience.
No reason not to expand your targets. Start with some soft, sweet kisses on your lovers’ face, eyes, hair, neck, shoulders, collarbones, arms, and hands and work your way down. Gravity and momentum will help you find your way to simulate the most important spots. Keep attuned to your lover’s physical and aural responses to guide your direction. In fact, the best kissing happens when you remain responsive to your partner’s movements.
The Ice Kiss:
Put a piece of ice – or a powerful breath mint, maybe even a fresh strawberry – in your mouth and rub it against your partner’s lips in a kiss before pressing it into their mouth. It’s a great way to escalate a French kiss.
The Progressive Triple Kiss:
Hold your lover’s head and start with a butterfly kisses by brushing your eyelashes against each other. Then move down to rub noses in Eskimo kiss style. Then slide into a real kiss on the lips, but let that flow into more and more passionate French kissing.
Talk & Kiss:
Make it a complete aural/oral experience by whispering in your lover’s ear details of how you are going to kiss them. Then kiss them. Then tell them how badly you want to kiss them again and how you will do it differently this time. Kiss and repeat.
All Eyes and Lips:
Move your faces and lips closer very slowly as you look deeply into each other’s eyes. Maintain eye contact for as long as you possibly can before enjoying a nice, slow, deep kiss. Don’t overdo those. Wait until you know the time is right. Save them for special moments. You’ll know when.
You need to discuss this one first to coordinate your breaths. Agree to inhale and exhale at separate times. Decide who will inhale first. Begin to kiss. As he inhales, exhale lightly into his mouth. Then reverse order and let him exhale while you inhale. It’s a great way to practice becoming one.
Now get out there and pucker up!