How Good is Your Game Face?: Playing in Public

by Kristin T.

November 13, 2022


If your sex routine has grown mundane, there may just be a way you haven’t thought of yet to spice things up: take it on the road, baby! Your sex life, that is. That’s right…it’s time to try some new ways to play in a public space. While you usually can’t rip your clothes off and get it on with other people around, you can do things to set the mood so you want to do that when you get home. Moving flirtation, foreplay, and even some pretty strong yet subtle stimulation beyond the bedroom may feel a little scary at first, but that’s part of what makes it exciting!

Some of you may remember all the headlines a few months ago about a world-renowned chess champion withdrawing from a big upcoming tournament. He was resigning because he refused to play his opponent, who he was accusing of cheating. A friend of mine sent me an article about it, and at first, I couldn’t figure out why…I’ve never expressed an interest in competitive chess. But I read on. Apparently my friend thought it was up my alley because of HOW he was allegedly cheating: by wearing vibrating, remote-controlled anal beads that were somehow telling him what moves to make.

“How would that even work?!?” I wondered. If this was really the case, who was watching the game and controlling the anal beads? How could he interpret subtle shifts in vibrations or patterns into how to play chess? Most importantly, chess tournaments are usually very quiet environments…wouldn’t someone HEAR them? Wouldn’t he show a noticeable reaction?

While most of the articles I read gave me more questions than answers, they DID get me thinking about using toys in public. While there are some fuzzy gray areas about using toys with other people nearby who are not necessarily consenting (because they don’t know), most folks are okay with experimenting as long as you keep things discreet. The dopamine boost and endorphin rush you can get from taking your play out and about without anyone else knowing can be exhilarating…and very arousing. So put on your best poker face and read on for some tips and tricks for playing in public!

Focus on Foreplay

You and your partner can focus on flirtation and foreplay in public, even when you’re not physically together. For some fun on the run, surprise your lover with a horny sexting thread while they’re working and you’re out running errands. Just a simple “I can’t wait to show you what I have in mind for us tonight” can really get those sexy wheels turning. Added pics or short videos of you winking or licking your lips seductively can really turn up the heat. Headed to a dinner party or game night with friends? Tell your partner to leave their phone on vibrate but face down, and send them some “emergency” texts about what you want to do to them later. The challenge of not reacting with full-on carnal desire in front of your surrounding guests is part of the fun!

Sneaky PDA

Sometimes even the most romantic souls have a problem with seeing couples making out or enjoying serious snuggles in public…or they just really don’t want to be the couple doing that. If you’re self-conscious about who might see you smooching or publicly displaying your love, try to challenge yourselves to find ways to up the ante while toning it down. Roam the aisles of a store holding hands, then get a serious with-tongue kiss in every time you’re in an aisle by yourselves. Give a loving, long hug from the front, while you actually have your hands in his pockets and are giving his package a squeeze. Trying to engage in overtly sexual acts covertly can up the arousal factor and give you lots to look forward to when you’re finally alone.

Toys to Go

We’ve seen the gag in movies and TV shows. Someone is wearing a remote control sex toy in public and they can’t exactly control themselves as the stimulation turns them on. Sometimes their partner is in control and keeping things appropriate, but sometimes, just for the lulz, the remote falls into the hands of a curious kid, and all horny hell breaks loose at a business meeting or fancy dinner party.

Underwear vibes, wearable egg vibrators, and even remote controlled vibrating butt plugs can all be a fun way to take your toy play out on the town. Many toys made for playing in public do focus on being very quiet and discreet, but it may still be better to wear them to something like a noisy sports bar than a quiet company dinner at a fancy restaurant, especially as YOU’RE getting used to being quiet and discreet about the sensations you’re experiencing as the wearer! Secretly teasing and pleasing your partner from inside their panties can bring an exciting new element to foreplay that will leave you both begging for more.

Being in control of your partner’s pleasure while they can only squirm and make faces can be a huge turn-on, especially to a playful dominant partner. Make sure to have a safe word that makes all play stop immediately, just in case you literally can’t take it anymore. Otherwise, though, getting turned on to your limits at the bar is a pretty hot way to start a date night.

Subtle Self-Stim

You don’t need a partner for public toy use, either. Many folks enjoy wearable sex tech for their own solo stimulation. You can wear your toys privately, under your clothes, leaving passerby none the wiser, but you’re still getting the amazing sensations they provide.

Wearable butt plugs are popular for daily wear. Just the sensation of being filled can be very arousing for many, and wearing even a simple, non-vibrating plug can provide subtle sensations with movement as you go about your day. Wearing a plug for extended periods can be great for anal training, too, getting yourself used to the insertion and feeling of having a plug in you comfortably.

Insertable remote control egg vibrators are fun for vagina owners to use solo, too. Try one around the house first, then take it out on the town as you become more comfortable with the sensations. Giving yourself an occasional buzz, or challenging yourself to keep a straight face despite being highly stimulated can be a thrilling way to change up your self-pleasure game.

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