One of the ways to make anal play exciting includes giving a prostate massage. Before you get started, be sure to read about making anal penetration easy and fun. Get lots of lubricant, along with some gloves if you use them for anal fun. And get your partner turned on first. That makes the prostate begin to fill up and get larger, which makes it both easier to find and feel more pleasurable.
The prostate gland is 3-4 inches (7.5-10cm) from the beginning of the anal canal, and it’s about 1 inch (2.5 cm) across. It’s just behind and above the deepest portion of the penis, and it’s right below the bladder. The urethra (the tube running from the bladder and out the penis) runs right through the center of the prostate. The prostate is on the other side of the rectum (the last portion of the digestive system). During sexual arousal, the prostate starts to fill up with fluid that it releases during ejaculation.
Once you’ve gotten your partner relaxed and you’ve found his prostate gland, there are a lot of different massage moves you can try. Many of these will sound similar to G-spot massage techniques, for good reason. The prostate is the male G-spot!
Try doing a “come hither” motion with your fingertip. Use the pad of the finger, not the tip, in order to avoid scratching. And remember – stroke, don’t poke! Keep a slow, steady rhythm and use firm pressure. You might need to vary the temp and pressure until you find the right combination for him, so start off slower and lighter, and then add more. If you’re using two fingers, try the “come hither” motion at the same time, or try “finger walking.”
Another popular move is tapping. Start off with the pressure you use when typing on a keyboard and try going faster or slower. Each time you change things up, ask him to tell you if it feels better or not. Everyone is a little different, so listen to feedback and watch how the body responds. If you have two fingers on the prostate, you can tap them together or alternate as if you’re playing the piano.
You can also do big circles across the entire prostate, little circles on just one spot, or do little circles and move them around. With circles, it’s easy to go too quickly, so try to keep a steady rhythm. Some people like to put on some music with a strong beat or bass line to help them keep the pace.
Don’t forget that stillness can be incredibly pleasurable too. Keep a constant pressure without movement, or try gently pulsing the pressure while maintaining contact. Sometimes, that can be someone’s favorite move.
Just as when you’re giving someone a shoulder rub, it’s good to do one technique for a bit and then change it up. The nerves get used to it if you stick with one thing, so keep his body paying attention by varying what you do every so often. The one exception to that is when he’s getting close to an orgasm. When that happens, stick with whatever is working.
Speaking of orgasm, you’ll know it’s about to start because you’ll feel his prostate swell and then quiver. That’s the gland squeezing the fluid into the urethra, where it mixes with the sperm that has been carried from the testicles. Once that happens, the muscles of the pelvis will start to contract and cause ejaculation. So once you feel that fluttering on your finger, keep going because there’s no holding back from that point.
While some men can enjoy prostate stimulation without anything else, many guys say that they enjoy penis pleasure at the same time or that they need it in order to have an orgasm. You might be able to use one hand on his penis while your other hand focuses on his prostate. If you have trouble coordinating that, he can use one of his hands on his penis while you give all of your attention to his prostate.
One thing – some men find that they don’t get as erect during anal penetration or prostate stimulation. Nobody knows for sure why it happens, but it doesn’t seem to get in the way of the pleasure. So don’t let it stop you – if he’s curling his toes and giving you all the other signs of enjoying himself, trust that.