How To Initiate Sex To Get What You Want in the Bedroom

by Former author

November 1, 2021


What has worked before?

When thinking about how to initiate sex, a simple but helpful form of inspiration is to consider what has worked in the past. What was your hottest sex like? Don’t just keep it to yourself, either. Have this conversation with your partner – an act which itself is more than likely to be yet another way to initiate sex!


You should never underestimate the importance of a well-timed, well-placed compliment. No matter how much confidence you have, compliments from our partners tend to always feel extra sweet. Make it especially personal, like telling him you’ve really noticed how good he looks since he started working out more, or how good her butt looks in her favorite skirt.  When it comes to how to initiate sex, the right compliment can be just the key to unlock your partner’s desire.

How To Initiate Sex

Playfulness & Humor

Humor in the bedroom is seriously underrated. Being playful with each other is not only sexy, but can also take you back to an earlier time in your relationship, when things were fresh and exciting. To be silly is to be alive, and getting silly with your partner is one of the most fun ways you can get close. For example, make a bet about something totally unrelated to sex, like whether or not their favorite team will win an important game. The prize? Why, the perfect blow job or oral sex session, of course.


You can stretch out foreplay all throughout the day if you engage in a little teasing. When it comes to how to initiate sex, you can start the process when you’re not even together by sending your partner a text at some point during the day. Sexting doesn’t have to be extreme to be enticing. Simply send a message like “I’m at the office, but I’m not wearing any underwear” and your partner will have you on their mind until they can find out for themselves.

How To Initiate Sex

Fond Memories of the Racy Variety

The early stages of relationships are often when we have the most intense, insanely erotic sex. Tap into the passionate power of back then when exploring how to initiate sex now. When was the last time you kissed for a long while before having sex? Or remember a particularly intense moment, such as pushing your partner onto the bed in a torrent of desire, and re-enact it. Did you have an especially memorable experience at a certain hotel? Make a special day of it and pay the same hotel another visit! To bring it back to an earlier point, having fun is important when having sex, and drawing on sexy memories is a great way to have fun with each other.


Many people need to unwind after a long day of work. If your partner needs time to relax, how to initiate sex can be as simple as giving them that time. Do something you know your partner will appreciate, such as giving them a massage, drawing a path, or even taking care of some chores around the house. If they need time alone, give it to them. That may sound counter-intuitive to how to initiate sex, but a relaxed partner is a receptive partner. Let them know you want to take care of them in whatever way they like, and we’re sure they’ll be wanting to take care of you in much the same way.

How To Initiate Sex

Just Say It!

Before we leave you, we have to point out the most obvious path you can take on the journey of how to initiate sex. Just say it! Sometimes all you need to do is let them know: “I want you right now.” If you’re having a hard time literally voicing your desires, use the power of your computer or cell phone to send a sexy email or text. Not only is this an easier way to ask for what you want, but a surprise sext can also be especially erotic. It’s hard to be forthright, especially when it comes to our most passionate desires, but the hard work is worth it – your relationship and sex life will thank you!When you’re in a long-term relationship, you naturally become more and more comfortable. Sometimes that means sex turns into something else you just do, like having dinner at 7 every night. Don’t let your sex life get stale! Take our tips on how to initiate sex and rediscover what it was like to touch each other for the first time all over again.

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