That time of the month. Aunt Flo’s visit. Surfing the red wave. Shark week. Strawberry season. Whatever you may prefer to call it, we’re talking periods. That (unfortunately) makes some folks uncomfortable…especially when we’re talking about periods in terms of sex and masturbation. Lots of ladies have spent a lifetime considering themselves officially “closed for business” during their monthly menses. We’re here to tell you that doesn’t have to be the case! Read on for some tips and tricks to help you put sex and self-pleasure back on the calendar during your period, and some reasons it might actually be GOOD for you to do so! With this info under your belt, you may not exactly look forward to your period, but hopefully you’ll at least come to dread it less!
“Not tonight, honey. I’m on my period.” How many times has that sentence put the kibosh on what was otherwise about to be a passionate evening in bed? There is a long-standing and fairly strong societal stigma against having sex during one’s period. Even pleasuring oneself is sometimes frowned upon or at least viewed as ‘icky’ during this monthly cycle. This is unfortunate for those who menstruate. Many experience their highest sex drive & strongest levels of desire during their time of the month, so they should be able to literally go with the flow and do something about that! The good news, though, is if you don’t want to abstain from sex during your period, you don’t have to!
While some people who menstruate (or those who have sex with them) may feel a little squeamish or icked out about period sex, there’s literally nothing else actually preventing it. It’s perfectly safe and healthy to have sex during menstruation. You think it’s gross because you were raised around that taboo. Other than being a little messy, there’s absolutely nothing “wrong” with period sex or menstruation masturbation! If the information in this article is intriguing to you and you want to give it a try, you may just have to set what society says aside and develop a healthy level of a “get over it” attitude. Don’t knock it ’til you try it, right?
While there are still certain sexual activities it’s better to steer clear of during that time of the month, such as receiving oral sex, most of them are perfectly safe, perfectly fine, and perfectly enjoyable. If the sight of blood still skeeves you out, just leave the lights off and go shower or wash up immediately after…also with the lights off, if you must. Now, turn that “OPEN” sign back on and get back to business!
Do it for your Health
If you need reasons beyond simply satisfying your basic human sexual needs & desires even when you’re on your period, there are plenty! It turns out, sex during your period and regular masturbation, particularly when orgasms are involved, can have numerous health benefits. Numerous studies (like one by our friends at Womanizer which gives us the very useful word, Menstrubation) have shown that having sex during your period and masturbating more regularly (when not on your period AND when you’re on it, if you want) can actually have positive effects on your overall well-being, including:
- Relieving cramps & gut problems: Do you have period cramps so bad, they leave you doubled up on the couch with a heating pad? Gut issues like bloating or diarrhea always terrible when you’re on the rag? Period sex & masturbation can reduce the intensity and duration of those cramping pains and annoying belly problems.
- General pain relief: Menstruation can bring on all sorts of aches and pains in different parts of the body for different people. Headaches, pain in the breasts, lower back, inner thighs, and abdomen, are all very common while menstruating. It is believed that the feel-good endorphins & hormones released by period sex help to reduce all of those! Period sex may even help stop menstrual migraine attacks!
- Increased sex drive: Your libido changes naturally throughout your menstrual cycle. Many women say their strongest desire occurs while ovulating, but for many, their first or at least second horniest time occurs during their period. Honor your body by giving it pleasure when it’s telling you it really wants it, and you can keep your libido rolling along strongly all month long.
- Shorter periods: Having sex or masturbating while menstruating can help make your periods shorter. When muscles contract during an orgasm, they help mobilize uterine contents and push them out more quickly all in one go, resulting in a shorter, overall lighter period. I don’t know anyone who would complain about that!
Plan Ahead
You can save time and prevent any mood-killing hesitations or delays by being proactive and keeping a few things at the ready so you can always be ready to go. A few suggestions:
- A towel or blanket: Whether you’re playing solo or with a partner, period pleasure can get messy. Avoid a big cleanup ordeal by keeping a dark-colored towel or easily washable dark blanket handy so you can spread that on the bed (or wherever) and just wash that when you’re done, instead of needing to change all the bedding.
- Lube: For some, period blood can act as a natural lubricant and they won’t need any extra lube. However, especially since things are more sensitive in there, for some it can act in the opposite way. It may make things feel sticky, or like thrusting is dragging or rubbing your vagina raw. It’s not as effective as your normal, natural lubrication at preventing friction and pain during sex. A little lube goes a long way in making a penetrating penis, fingers, or toy feel good anytime.
- Condoms: Even if you and your partner don’t typically use condoms, slipping one on during period play can make cleanup MUCH easier…just toss the majority of the mess right in the trash. There is also evidence that certain bloodborne STIs such as Hepatitis and HIV can be more easily transmitted while you’re bleeding, so that’s another good reason if that risk exists. And yes, while uncommon, it is still possible that you could become pregnant from sex during your period, so unless you’re actively trying to conceive, best to wrap it up. Condoms can be for more than penises, too. Slip them over your toys for ease of cleaning.
- A wet wash cloth or wet body/baby wipes: These are nice to have around whether you’re on your period or not! Keep these handy to wipe off any skin or surfaces when changing moves or positions to keep lubes and body fluids from transferring all over the place. You can also use them for a quick cleanup before post-coital cuddles, so you don’t both feel compelled to immediately run for the shower.
- If you’re wearing a tampon, make sure to take it out before you have sex or engage in penetrative masturbation. Not only would it be downright uncomfortable; leaving a tampon in during sex can push it too far inside you. It’s not going to “get lost”, but it can go far enough to make it really hard to remove. If it gets stuck, especially for more than 8 hours, you’d have to go to a doctor to have it removed or it could cause a pretty nasty infection. That’s a temporary sex life ruiner for sure!
How to Get Started
If you’re ready to give this whole thing a go the way nature (probably) intended, here are a few suggestions to help ease you (and your partner, when applicable) into it as comfortably as possible.
- Communicate clearly: On or off your period, you need to be able to have open, honest conversations around consent, needs, and desires. It should be absolutely okay to tell your partner exactly what you want or don’t want when and why. It’s important to hear their interests and concerns as well. It’s possible that bringing up the possibility of period sex will utterly gross them out. That’s okay (more time for self-pleasure, amirite?) but make sure you’re both comfortable enough to unpack that response…then respect it. It’s also possible they’ll be over-the-moon excited and wonder why you’ve waited so long to ask!
- Stick to lighter flow days: If your period is predictable enough, you can minimize the mess by scheduling partnered sex only on the days when you know your flow will be on the lighter side; these often occur for the first and last day or two of your period. Menstrubation can occur whenever, because it’s only your own personal comfort level that matters!
- Try new positions: If you find certain positions to be uncomfortable when you are menstruating, this can be a great opportunity to try out some creative new ones, though many find boring ol’ missionary to be the comfiest way to go during that time of the month.
- Focus on external pleasure: If, even after gaining all this knowledge, you or your partner are still kind of grossed out by actual penetrative period sex, use that time to explore other erogenous zones that don’t involve your vagina. Challenge them to bring you to orgasm just by playing with your nipples or your ears and neck. Clitoral stimulation will also keep things completely on the outside but still bring waves of pleasure and orgasmic relief with all the same health benefits of sex or masturbation. This can be a great time for your lover to try new techniques to tantalize the clit. New toys, too! For solo or partnered play, try a pinpointed clitoral vibe, a clitoral suction toy, or a (fancy) classic wand for that tried & true power.
- Try a menstrual disc: Many who menstruate have discovered the joy of menstrual discs – shallow insertable cups that comfortably catch your flow AND allow you to wear them during intercourse! Some are disposable and some can be cleaned and reused, and there are often size options available, too. Flex, Softdisc, Saalt, Cora, and June are some popular brands, and many are available at drugstores, Target, or on Amazon. Due to differences in everyone’s anatomy, it may take some trial and error to find the right one for you, but once you do, you’re likely to shout its praises from the rooftops since it allows you to have sex whenever your heart desires without a lot of extra planning and mess prevention!
