The Hottest Touch Points on Your Lover’s Body

by Christopher J.

May 18, 2024


Studying foreplay and the optimal ways to activate your lover’s favorite hot spots that you can touch to stimulate pleasure is an ongoing and most worthwhile pursuit for couples. These touch points usually include your partner’s mouth, nipples, breasts, derrieres, or their genitals. But there are many that you might not have thought about or explored yet, such as their inner wrist, the nape of their neck or the back of their knee.

However, each individual’s erogenous zones will vary, so maximizing foreplay starts with learning your lover’s body. This means learning to explore slowly, gently, intimately, and way above, around, and beyond just their sex organs.

Your homework assignment this weekend, then, is to take a blank piece of paper – or preferably on the fleshy gray table of your brain – draw a silhouette of your lover’s body, and sketch little hearts to indicate each of their hottest touch points. Yes, you are allowed to cheat and do this sexercise to create a map of your lover’s Hot Erogenous Zones as a team project. You are also encouraged to apply a very hands-on approach when partnering as carnal cartographers in this erotic endeavor.

The ideal approach to completing this assignment is to talk to each other, listen closely to what your partner is telling you about what feels good them and where, and more important of all, take the time to revel in each other’s bodies. Remember, exhilarating foreplay that puts you on the path to mind-blowing sex should never be a timed event.

According to Jeremy Nicholson, Ph.D., “The Attraction Doctor,” in his article “3 Tips From Science for Better Foreplay“ in Psychology Today, understanding three factors of stimulating touch will make all of the difference.

“Specifically, during foreplay, there is a difference in where, how, and for how long a partner is touched and kissed,” he says. “Therefore, to be good at foreplay, you need to know where, how, and for how long to do it.”

Thus, that is your deeply rewarding motivation for performing extensive…no…exhaustive research on each other’s anatomical preferences for erotic stimulation. You know the obvious points such as nipples, breasts, buttocks, balls, right? So spend some time traveling those tactile trails previously not carefully and sensually reconnoitered or traversed by your fingertips, lips and tongue.

This is not comprehensive because there are many points outside of this region that can be erogenous, but Nicholson advises that “anywhere that a t-shirt and shorts covers is basically erogenous—and whatever underwear covers is especially arousing to touch.” So those areas are certainly good places to seek out sensual success, but don’t forget other areas that aren’t as close to the low-hanging fruits, so to speak, such as the toes or lower back.

In a WebMD article “7 Awesome Erogenous Zones,” Hayley Krischer covers several surprisingly effective places to touch a lover that most people wouldn’t have expected such as your ear lobes or your scalp. Letting your fingers do some walking through your lover’s head and hair, then, can be quite delightful.

Says Krischer of the latter: “As anyone who’s had a salon styling session knows, having someone touch your hair and scalp can be incredibly soothing. It can also be arousing, says NYC-based sex researcher Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D. ‘Play with your partner’s hair,’ she says. ‘Massage his or her scalp. Run your fingernails across it. See how your partner reacts.’”

Another unexpectedly but highly effective erogenous area to touch that will turn on most bodies lies in the soft spot behind the knee, according to Kate McCombs, M.P.H., a NYC-based sex educator and founder of Sex Geekdom, who Krischer quotes in her article: “It’s another nerve-rich area where we’re not often touched,” says McCombs. “It’s a novelty, because it’s not where our friends or colleagues are touching us. Touching the back of the knees and leading up to the thighs is intimate… and it gets you closer to the main attraction.” 

Obviously, that is the goal of foreplay or using gentle massage of your lover’s hot spots is to arrive at the point of amorous interaction also know as sexual intercourse. You want your partner’s nerves to be tingling, their breath and their heart rate to be accelerated, and their parts that are supposed to become moist to be dripping wet. So, taking the time to explore and enjoy touching those most sensitive and sensually energizing hot points will accomplish just that for couples in the deep throes of lovemaking.

In his article, Nicholson cites some scientific research that’s been done specific to the “’how long’ of foreplay.” (Wouldn’t you love that job?) Research done by surveying heterosexual couples about their ideal duration of foreplay and intercourse and how long they lasted, Nicholson says, indicated that:

“both female and male participants had similar averages for their ideal lengths of foreplay (18-19 minutes). Nevertheless, the average length of actual foreplay was about 5 to 8 minutes short of that ideal. Overall, then, it appears that both women and men often desire longer foreplay than what they generally experience.”

Just one more reminder that during your progression of foreplay, you’re not there to set any land speed records for arousing your partner through soft kisses and touching, nor are you racing to slam dunk your lover into the bed as fast as you can. Yes, there may be appropriate moments and locations for quickies. But when discovering how low, slow, and long you can fire their hottest touch points, remember the famous proverb: “Slow and steady wins the race.”

Pretty sure no lover will complain about a leisurely and luxurious massage, especially when accompanied by soft music, soft lights, soft touching, soft whispers of love, and sex and soft kisses. The lovemaking that ensues will almost certainly be phenomenal and memorable. Couples will be well-rewarded for investing time and energy in enhancing your erogenous zone expertise!

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