Visualize Your Valentine with Meditation Masturbation

by Kristin T.

February 14, 2024

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Whether you find yourself single on V-day and need to take care of sexy time yourself, or any time you just need to woosah yourself to an amazing orgasm, meditation masturbation may be for you. See what mindful & meditative masturbation can do for you and your self love routine.

Anyone who has been to any kind of therapy, read any self-help book, or dabbled in any kind of new age wellness arts probably knows that meditation is one of the most common tools to begin any kind of healing or stress relief journey. Many of those same people who have tried meditation don’t actually like it, typically because they have a hard time truly achieving a peaceful meditative state. Even if you’ve tried (and failed at) meditating in the past, you may find meditation masturbation could become your new favorite pleasure practice.

Unlike traditional forms of meditation, masturbation meditation is a mindfulness practice that’s meant to increase awareness of what’s pleasurable for you, all while encouraging a slower, more intentional approach to the solo exploration of your sexuality. Instead of only using your breath as a focal point during mindfulness exercises like meditation and body scanning, you also concentrate on pleasurable sensations that ground you in your body. Getting introspective by honing in on the purest elements of pleasure can make achieving a state of Zen much easier than your typical “sit crisscross on a cushion and say OM” meditation.

Here are a few tips to make your meditative masturbation sessions the best they can be:

Set the scene

Setting the right mood and practicing in the right environment is key to a successful meditative masturbation session. Most importantly, pick a space you feel safe in and where you will not be interrupted. Dim the lights if possible, or light some candles to set a soothing mood. Make sure you are sitting or lying on a comfortable surface, and adjust the temperature of the room for your utmost comfort. Play soft music or use a white noise machine if you find that helpful; keep things quiet if you find it only distracts you.

It’s important to make sure that your mind is a safe space for your practice before you begin, as well. Many of us are unfortunately ‘programmed’ with many of society’s negative attitudes, taboos, or criticisms about sex, masturbation, sexual pleasure, and our bodies; it can be hard to shake those off and get into a groove where we can feel really good about what we’re doing for ourselves. The most important part of meditation masturbation is adopting an open, non-judgmental, perspective toward self-pleasure. Through mindfulness, you’ll give yourself the space to explore your body and experience genuine pleasure. Make sure you head into meditative masturbation with an open mind, quieting any negative self talk, and focusing on the benefits of experiencing this amazing pleasure – this natural, human, carnal pleasure – for your mind & body’s well-being, because that’s all that matters.

Visualize whatever you like

Visualization is an important part of many meditative practices, especially until you can really get the hang of truly focusing on nothing, which is way more abstract and difficult. Whether you’re picturing yourself by a serene lake in the forest with birds singing and a waterfall flowing in the distance, or envisioning yourself and what’s making you happy in your life 3 years from now, creating something in the mind’s eye gives you a focal point to work with. The same can be true when you’re doing meditation masturbation.

You may find that you already visualize things when you masturbate. Those of us who read romance novels, erotica, or straight-up smut probably have a little easier time picturing the steamy scenes in our heads as we pleasure ourselves. But if you’ve never done it before, try adding visualization to your next mindful masturbation session. If you have a hard time with knowing that it’s just you touching yourself, you may find you like visualizing that you’re being touched by your celebrity crush, your partner, or a completely made-up-in-your-mind dream person. You can also picture yourself in different settings or scenarios, or even different periods in history. Does it help you feel good if you imagine yourself masturbating on a velvet fainting couch in a Downton Abbey-esque estate room? Great, do that!

Need some hints? Mashable offers some great suggestions for what sensual fantasies to focus on as you make yourself feel good and focus on your pleasure during a mindful meditation masturbation practice. As they explain, “everyone with a brain, genitals, and desire is already equipped to masturbate to their own sexual fantasies. And while the practice does come more naturally to some, it only takes little guidance and patience to unlock the endless possibilities tucked inside your erotic mind”. Visualizing whatever helps you to feel amazing and get off can help you zero your attention in on the sensations of your touch; your imagination is the only limit.

Stay in the moment

The most difficult part of traditional meditation for most people can be just keeping their brain quiet and focused on one thing…or nothing at all. Adding masturbation to your mindfulness time gives what you are doing with your hands – and how it feels – something for your brain to focus on. Having something to do can make it easier to drown out any distracting thoughts and stay in the moment. Go into your session knowing there’s no pressure to orgasm, and just focus on feeling. If you have a hard time knowing where to start, you can try a guided meditative masturbation session recording, like this one at this site from Dr. Jenn.

When you’re practicing meditative masturbation, you should be focusing on your touch, the sensations of your touch, and providing yourself pleasure. As much pleasure as possible. And that’s it. Whether you’re using toys or just your hands, the goal is drowning out the world and making yourself feel good. It may take time and practice, but you’ll find that eventually those intrusive thoughts about all your work meetings tomorrow or kids’ birthday parties this weekend that try to act like pop-up ads in your mind will float away like leaves on the wind without you even acknowledging them.

Zero in on the sensations

So, does masturbation count as meditation? It sure can, if you’re doing it mindfully, says Vice! The skill sets required for meditating and those required for rubbing one out are not actually that far from each other…you just need to get a little more introspective as you explore your body and pleasurable touches. Focus solely on the sensations your body experiences as you touch yourself. Explore different parts of your genitals and other erogenous zones. Try touching areas you’ve never tried before and don’t necessarily consider sexual, like your closed eyelids or the backs of your knees. Take things sloooowwww. When you find something that feels amazing – even if it’s not good enough to get you off – keep doing it for a good bit of time to see what states of mind you can achieve by focusing on just that sensation. Whenever you find a certain touch just doesn’t do anything for you, simply move on to something else; don’t let it derail your focus.

Believe it or not, orgasming is not the primary goal of meditation masturbation. If you get there, great, but that shouldn’t be the main focus. By taking the pressure to cum out of the equation, you’ll learn how to separate pleasure from performance, which can also completely transform your mindset toward sex. Instead, you should be focused solely on touching yourself, and how those different touches make you feel – physically and emotionally, and yes, even spiritually. Pay attention to how your breathing or pulse change as you experience different sensations. Do you begin to feel warmer, cooler, or start to sweat? Notice what sensations give you goosebumps or make the little hairs on your neck, arms, and legs stand up – those can be indicators that you’re on the right track!

Remember the benefits

If the pleasure you enjoy from meditative masturbation isn’t enough to keep it on your priority list, maybe the wellness benefits can help. In addition to the usual health benefits of masturbation, like lower stress hormones and blood pressure, meditative masturbation can actually enhance the pleasure response in the brain, and strengthen those circuits that trigger arousal and orgasm. By approaching pleasure with a mindfulness mindset, researchers have found these techniques can help improve a number of sexual problems. If you’re experiencing any sexual dysfunction – vaginismus, low libido, sexual trauma, genital pain, anxiety, body image issues, or erectile dysfunction – meditative masturbation can help you feel more present in your body and increase your response to sexual pleasure. By exploring what feels good to you, you’ll be able to gradually build up your arousal and may even start to notice a more naturally wet and lubricated response to touch. Need more convincing? This essay by Susan Koons is a powerful testament to the magic of meditative masturbation and how it can change your self-love life and mindset for the better.  

Start out by scheduling your meditation masturbation, says Mashable in their article Masturbation meditation works. Here’s the proof, so you can begin to build it into your routine as a positive, beneficial habit. After you’ve practiced regularly for awhile, wanting to do it will come so naturally to you that you won’t need a reminder on your calendar anymore. You can even do meditation masturbation with a partner, which can help lead to mindful sex. Pairing your sensual mindfulness practices with your partner’s can increase endorphins and bonding hormones, helping you feel truly in sync with your lover. This article from Paper explains how practicing meditative masturbation can improve your relationship and your entire attitude towards sex. This can allow you both to move together, communicate effectively during sex, and achieve new heights of pleasure you never knew were possible.

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