Wine Me, Dine Me, 69 Me: Oral Fun for Everyone

by Kristin T.

March 9, 2022


March 14th is the decidedly less famous “Valentine’s Day for Guys” known as Steak and Blowjob Day! Yes, it’s a thing…and we’re ready to celebrate! Take some time to treat your man and blow his…mind. Since all folks deserve some amazing oral every now and then, though, we wanted to include some tips for all types of oral pleasure, so read on!

Unless they’re a vegetarian, most guys love a great steak. And unless they’re…well, I can’ t think of many exceptions here, actually…most guys love a great blow job, too. Held on March 14th every year, this unofficial holiday is considered the “manly Valentine’s Day”, where men should be honored with some of their favorite stereotypically masculine loves. While this is a great opportunity to treat your man to a hearty dinner and some amazing oral for dessert (especially if you don’t do that for him often), it is decidedly NOT the “male equivalent of Valentine’s Day”.

Sure, Valentine’s Day is traditionally for women, when guys are supposed to shower us with chocolates, flowers, and mushy gushy romance, but where’s the oral-sex-encouraging aspect in that? Until there is Cheesecake and Cunnilingus Day or Take Me Out Then Eat Me Out Day, I wanted to include some tips to help everyone up their oral IQ! Try these tantalizing tricks for celebrating Steak & Blowjob Day, your lover’s birthday, or just a random Tuesday.  I promise your efforts won’t go unrewarded! After all, everyone deserves to eat out (and be eaten out) every once in awhile!

Please his Penis

If your partner has a penis, it’s blowjob time! You may know the basics (make your mouth moist, keep your teeth out of the way, etc.), but try these pro-tips to take your knob-slobbing up a notch.

First, some don’ts: If performing oral sex on your man is intimidating to you, take a deep breath…there are some caveats no one likes to talk about. You DON’T have to deep-throat the penis, you DON’T have to swallow (or even taste) his cum, and you DON’T have to hurt yourself with a repetitive motion in an uncomfortable position. Change things up until they work for both of you. Find a way to get him off that’s still comfortable for you.

All about enthusiasm: When guys were polled about what makes for an amazing blowjob, the skill of the giver wasn’t usually a factor. Do you know what was? Enthusiasm! Partners who give their guy their all, who suck that cock like there’s no tomorrow and they’ve never wanted anything more in their life than to please their partner in this way are seen as the most highly competent and enjoyable performers of oral. Call up that latent cheerleader part of you and see what you can do!

Maintain the view: Part of what turns a guy on while getting head is watching. Do it by candlelight or with the lights dimmed, but not in the dark. Tie up long hair so he can see what you’re doing the whole time, and this does double duty by keeping your hair out of your mouth while you go to town.

Call in reinforcements: Nobody said you had to do EVERYTHING with your mouth. Especially if your man is well-endowed, don’t be afraid to get your hands involved. Wrap one hand around the shaft of his penis with a firm but gentle grip, and stroke it up and down in the same rhythm as your head bobbing up and down on his penis. Lube or extra saliva can help this hand slide more easily, and this whole-shaft approach provides a sensation more akin to vaginal sex. While strokers are usually thought of solely for masturbation, short, open ones like the Zolo Bumperz can also be used at the base of your partner’s penis while you give them head.

Just the tip: Pay particular attention to the head of his penis, especially the corona, or outer ring, of the head (glans), as lots of nerve endings are concentrated there. Run your tongue gently around that to get him to the edge of orgasm. The frenulum, or connective band that runs down near his testicles (it’s not a vein) is another great spot to focus on. Remember, though, that every penis and penis owner is different, so communicate with him about what he likes and doesn’t like…some of these areas may be TOO sensitive to feel enjoyable.

Caress her Clitoris

If your partner has a vagina, they also have a clitoris, and it’s time to be “a cunning linguist” and learn some tricks of the trade. Use your mouth and especially your tongue to tease and please all the parts of the pussy, paying special attention to the super-sensitive clit.

Get to know your mouth and tongue: This may sound weird, but it is possible to “practice” for giving great oral sex by working out your mouth and tongue. Learn about your saliva production and how to best swallow it without choking, find anything that triggers your gag reflex, and learn to keep a relaxed jaw to prevent stiffness and pain that can inhibit the experience. Any problems you encounter can usually be sorted out. If you’ve ever been in speech therapy, you may have a one-up…some techniques taught to perfect articulation are the same ones used to perfectly control the tongue for pleasing your partner.

More than just lip service: Kissing is great practice and a great warm-up when you know oral sex is on the menu. Using your tongue in her mouth before going down on her gets that saliva flowing and gets you both in the mood. It’s also a good opportunity to make sure your breath is fresh, your lips are smooth and soft, and your mouth is well hydrated before moving on to where that matters more.

Fire & ice: Going down on her can be a great opportunity for temperature play. Your mouth will produce incredibly different and unique sensations on her genitals if you heat and cool your breath or the inside of your mouth. Experiment with sucking on an ice cube, then gently blowing on her clit, or sip a warm but not hot cup of tea nearby to warm up your lips and tongue before laying into licking her.

Facesitting: For the uninitiated, this is exactly what it sounds like. Lie on your back and let your woman straddle your face, while you go to town on her clitoris, vagina, perineum…whatever strikes your (or her) fancy…with your mouth. She should bear down only slightly (not put all her weight of your face!) so when she squirms away or thrusts to get closer, you know you’re doing it right! It may not feel particularly glamorous for either of you, but it is HOT! Don’t forget to come up for air!

Oh, and guys, we talked all about finding the clitoris and pleasuring it here but if you’re still not sure you’re paying attention to exactly the right spot, ASK HER!

Tonguing for Two

One of the most fun ways to include oral into your sex routine is to explore it simultaneously…that is, both of you getting it at the same time. The easiest way to do this is of course, the famous “69” position. Position your faces by each other’s genitals and give them the thrill of a lifetime.

Don’t get bored with the same old 69, though. Men’s Health has compiled 9 different versions of the 69 position, all offering oral thrills for two and often a little something extra. If you and your lover are even more adventurous (and flexible), there are even more options for mutual oral pleasure here. The one bonus tip for 69ing? Just try to stay in the moment and enjoy, but don’t get so caught up in what your lover is doing for your pleasure that you completely stop pleasuring them. It’s OK to take an O break, but then get right back to it.

If one or both of you is slightly averse to the natural flavors involved with oral sex, it’s okay to make it more palatable with flavored lubes. Check out a great rundown of tips and products to try here, and add some flavor to your fun!

Auto-Oral Awesomeness

If you don’t have a partner to lavish you with oral delights, not to worry…technology to the rescue! Sex tech has come a LONG way in recent years, and toy companies have been paying attention to everyone’s affinity for oral. This leaves no shortage of oral-sex-simulating sex toys no matter what parts you have.

For Penises:

Some strokers and masturbators are made to simulate the oral cavity instead of the vaginal one, because sometimes you just need to give yourself the best head ever. The Zolo Pleasure Pill vibrates and has an oral and anal opening, while simpler, non-vibrating lip strokers like the Torch Stroker – Luscious Lips or the Extreme Elite Air Tight Oral Stroker allow you to be completely in control of speed and pressure. If BJs are your favorite thing ever, you may even wish to invest in the best mechanical head-giver this world has to offer, the Hummer 2.0 Super BJ Machine.

For Clitorises:

There is more than one way to simulate oral for a clitoris, so the toy possibilities are more varied. Many toys offer both a suction pumping sensation along with a flickering tongue just for your clit, like the Inya Triple Delight or the Fantasy for Her Ultimate Pleasure. Air pulse stimulators like the Womanizer Premium, Satisfyer Curvy 2, or social-media darling Rose suction toys are perfect if you like the gentle sucking, blowing, and kissing sensations of oral. If you’re all about the pressure and motion of the tongue flicking your clit, try The Note (with a bonus insertable shaft), the Liki tongue vibe, or the Her Silicone Fun Tongue Vibrator.

Tossed salad, anyone?

Yes, Analingus is a thing, too, but due to a wealth of information, we’ll save that for its own article.

Remember, oral sex is sex…not just foreplay…and it can be a great way for any couple to celebrate and enhance their intimacy. If you want to learn even more great tips and tricks to blow each other away, check out our selection of instructional books about oral. They are all pretty quick reads, because the doing is the important part!

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