Ah, Valentine’s Day…pretty nice if you’re happily coupled, kind of ‘meh’ if you’re not. We have some great masturbation tips, though, that all women can use today and all year long, regardless of relationship status. All the single ladies (and all the partnered ones, too)…get comfy and prepare to make today all about YOU, because no one said the day of love shouldn’t include self-love!
Ok, vulva owners…what’s something we all do, even if no one likes to talk about it? If you said masturbation, you’d be correct! Adjusting our mindset is probably the first and easiest fix to make self-pleasure more enjoyable. If you’re one of those women that thinks your masturbation routine is in any way shameful, wrong, or weird, let that nonsense go. Pleasuring oneself is a normal and important part of a healthy sex life, and everyone, women and men, should do it…regularly!
Just because it should be common and typical doesn’t mean it has to be boring, though. There are tons of tricks you can try to improve upon your self-love routine, and tons of benefits to doing so. Read on for some tips to spice up your solo sex practice, and show your V some serious love this V-day…and as often as possible!
1. Set the mood.
Masturbation is self-care, and you should treat it as such. Don’t look at it as this necessary chore where the point is to just knock out an orgasm ASAP. Do whatever you need to do to make it feel like a special and luxurious experience. Listen to music, light some candles, play some audio erotica stories, sext with a partner or friend that you have that type of relationship with and tell them what you’re up to, or draw a warm bubble bath to sink into for some waterproof sex-ploration. Whatever makes you feel like more like it’s a spa day and less like a visit to the ob-gyn, do that!
2. Play inside.
Most vulva owners find that they tend to have their easiest Os with clitoral stimulation. This makes sense, of course, and it’s good to stick with what works for you, but change things up and try masturbating with penetration. If you can climax this way, it’s great in the short term (for the amazing orgasm, obvi) and also in the long term, as it can improve your ability to orgasm from partnered penetrating sex. You can accomplish self-penetration with your fingers, a simple but realistic dildo, or a vibrator. Some may experience increased success from the actual thrusting motion of the toy moving in and out of your vagina. Some high-tech toys do this all on their own, like the Sonic Thrusting Rabbit vibe, but glass toys are another great option for accomplishing this sensation manually. Their firmness and texture make every change in position more noticeable inside your sensitive vagina.
3. Do the (dry) humpty-hump.
As an adult, it may have been quite some time since you’ve thought about dry humping…you know, since you can actually take your clothes off now without worry of being walked in on by your parents…but it can be a powerful tool for both masturbation and partnered sex. If you have a sensitive clitoris, dry humping allows you to stimulate the clitoral hood, without the sometimes overpowering or painful sensation that comes from direct clitoral stimulation. Try dry humping with a buzzy wand toy through your clothes, tuck your hand or a larger bullet vibe between your legs and “ride it”, or get a leg up with a toy mount that allows you to hump the toy with your full body.
4. Go through the motions.
According to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, there are four motions or directional movements that women reportedly love when it comes to direct clitoral stimulation: up & down, circular, side to side, and rapid pushing (pulsating). Try these different motions with your fingers and see which one you like best, or try a couple simultaneously for some extra-pleasurable multi-tasking. Learning your favorite movement through this trial and error when masturbating also allows you to coach your partner into pleasing you in the very best way.
5. Get a great toy.
Your fingers and hands are functional, but there are honestly just some things they can’t do. If you haven’t already, it’s worth investing in a sex toy (or a few!) to create all the unique sensations your body craves. Here’s a quick rundown of some toy categories you may not have tried yet and what they can do to up your masturbation game:
- Clitoral Vibration toys: This can include everything from small, discreet bullet vibrators to powerful, rumbly wand toys. The smaller the head of the vibe, the more control you have over exactly where to target it on your clitoris. The broad-headed wands stimulate by vibing the entire area, while targeted clit vibes help you focus the pulses exactly where you want them.
- Clitoral Suction toys: These toys are newer to the market but there’s a very good reason they’ve become so popular. Toys like the Womanizer, Satisfyer, and Lelo Sona 2 Cruise use air pulses, suction, or even ultrasonic waves to stimulate your clit similarly to oral sex and imitate the best head ever.
- Internal toys: These are the toys we mentioned earlier that are meant for penetration. Some are dildos meant to feel the same as a penis, while others are vibrating, curvy powerhouses meant to target your g-spot (more on this below). Use water-based lube with toys you’re using for vaginal penetration for the best experience.
- Combination Internal/Clitoral toys: These little multitaskers stimulate your lady bits internally and externally at the same time. The most well-known example of these toys is the “rabbit vibe”, so called because of the rabbit shaped clit stimulator. These toys can help you get the job done no matter how you orgasm best.
- Anal toys: Butt stuff isn’t just for guys, you know. Women may not have a prostate gland, but can still experience pleasure from anal stimulation. Whether it’s wearing a butt plug for a pleasurable feeling of fullness, or pulling out anal beads one at a time as you reach clitoral or vaginal climax, butt toys are worth trying if you’re looking for something new!
6. To G or not to G?
If you’re one of the many women who has always been unable to locate, nonetheless experience an orgasm, from your G-spot, you are not alone. Some studies are even starting to show that the infamous G-spot (located inside the front of your vaginal canal, if you reach up and do a come-hither motion towards your belly button) might not even be a thing. Try a G-spot toy if you can feel pleasure here, but don’t get hung up on reaching G-spot orgasm as the holy grail of masturbation. It just might not work for you, and that’s okay!
7. Mirror, mirror.
You know that great feeling you get when you put on a hot piece of lingerie and look in the mirror? You can recreate that feeling by watching in a mirror while you touch yourself. Try both in combination to help the experience come full circle. Observing what you’re doing down there helps you stay truly focused and in the moment with yourself, and can make you more knowledgeable about your own body and how you experience pleasure.
8. Make it a habit.
Set a goal for your masturbation routine and stick to it, even if it feels challenging. Switch it up from time to time, like from using your fingers to using a toy, trying different motions like we discussed above, or switching positions, but just make sure to do in in some way shape or form, at least a few days a week. Your mental, emotional, and sexual wellbeing will all be grateful you did! If people start asking you why you look like you’re glowing all of the sudden, you’re doing it right!