How to Choose the Perfect Lube

by Christopher J.

October 15, 2023


There are a lot of myths, rumors, and questions about sexual lubricants. The most important thing to remember is that lube is fun, useful, and almost always worth using during sex! It’s not just about easing dryness; the right lube can make every type of intimate encounter that much more enjoyable. Whether you’re flying solo, loving your partner, or expanding your sexual frontiers, remember: there is no such thing as too much slippery stuff!

First, let’s answer a few FAQs:

If my female partner needs lube, does that mean I’m not doing something right?

This is one of the biggest misconceptions about sex in general, and lubricants in particular. Just because she isn’t dripping wet does not mean she isn’t turned on! Vaginal lubrication is not a perfect indicator of a woman’s arousal. Many women simply do not make enough natural lubrication to make sex as friction-free and enjoyable as it should be. Menopause, hysterectomy, stress, birth control pills or other medications, and many other factors can reduce the amount of natural vaginal lubrication produced. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, but you can ask her if you are concerned. Using a water-based or silicone lube will reduce friction and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.

Will lubricants make a mess?

Different lubricants require different clean up. Water-based lubricants that are unscented and unflavored are the easiest to clean up. They rinse off the body easily, won’t stain the sheets and are easy to remove from toys. Flavored lubricants require a little more effort to clean up. They are stickier than plain water-based lubricants so they can make both your body and sheets a little sticky. If you find flavored lubes too sticky for intercourse, wipe off the area with a warm damp washcloth and keep playing. Any stickiness on your clothes or sheets will wash off easily with soap and water. Silicone lubricant is the slipperiest of all lubricant and it takes a bit more effort to clean up. It must be washed off external body parts using soap and water. It will not rinse off with plain water alone. The body will expel silicone lubricant from the anus and vagina within 2 to 48 hours.

Should I use lubricant with toys?

Lube is highly, highly recommended when using any kind of insertable toy. Toys are usually made of firmer material than human skin so they need a little bit more moisture to make them feel good. Water-based lubricants are compatible with every toy material, and are safe for vaginal and anal play. Silicone lubricants are also great to use with some toys. They stay slick until you wash them off with soap and water so they’re perfect for extended sessions. The only drawback to silicone lubricant is that it cannot be used with Silicone or silicone-blend toys…which is most of them. Silicone lubricant will bond with the molecules in these toys and destroy them.

What kind of lube should I use for anal play or anal sex?

Anal play and anal sex are the fastest-growing categories of sexual play. Even so, it’s difficult to know where to begin and some people are embarrassed to ask. There are two different types of lube suited for anal play: thick water-based lubes and silicone lubricants. Silicone is less thick than water-based lubricants but its molecules act like “ball bearings” and silicone is not absorbed by the body. This means silicone stays slick until your body expels it and it does not need to be reapplied during play.

What about numbing creams for anal play?

Many people ask about anal numbing creams like Anal Ease, because they are scared that anal sex will hurt. The short story is that if anal play is painful, you should stop, relax your muscles and add more lube. Pain is your body’s way of saying “Stop!”. A tiny dab of Anal Ease can help you feel more relaxed so that you can enjoy the experience. Start with less than you think you need, and add a little more gradually until you feel comfortable. Anal Ease is not a lubricant so you will still need a good anal lubricant for your encounter. The anus has more nerve endings that any other part of the male body. The only female body part more sensitive than the anus is the clitoris. If you know you can do what you want to do safely, the use of a tiny amount of numbing cream may help you relax and enjoy your anal experience.

What are the varieties of lubricants? What are the pros and cons of each lube?

Water-Based Lubricants

These are the most common type of sexual lubricant on the market. They are condom safe, safe for toys, and safe for the vagina and anus. Water-based lubes can range from thin (like saliva) to thick and rich (like an expensive lotion). Most flavored lubes and warming lubes are water-based as well.


o Works well with all types of toys and condoms.

o Easy cleanup and no staining.


o May need reapplication during anal play.

o Is not as slick as silicone.

Silicone Lubricants

Silicone lubricants are the longest-lasting, slipperiest and most concentrated of all sexual lubricants. They can even be used underwater! Silicone is great for vaginal and anal sex because it does not irritate sensitive skin. It does not interfere with oral sex either because it has no taste. Silicone is an inert substance: it is almost impossible to have an allergic reaction to it. It is generally made up of three different silicone molecules: dimethicone, dimethiconal, and cyclomenthicone. Silicone is hypo-allergenic and is not absorbed by the body. It is odorless, tasteless and stays slick halfway to forever!


o Stays slick for extended periods of time.

o Great for vaginal and anal sex.

o Works in the hot tub, shower or bath.

o Extremely concentrated – a little goes along way.


o Often more expensive than water-based lubricants.

o Can’t be used with silicone or silicone blend toys.

o Requires soap and water to wash off the body.

Flavored Lubricants

Most flavored lubes taste great because they’re meant for oral sex. Flavored lubes are usually water-based, and use glycerin, aspartame, or Stevia to add sweetness. We only carry sugar-free flavored lubricant because sugar is bad for the natural microbiome of the vulva and vagina.


o Makes oral sex delicious, or at least more palatable to those who may not enjoy it.

o Provide extra moisture to make oral more fun.

o Some do double duty, making oral sex and penetration feel great.


o Most don’t give the “slip” you need for penetration.

o Most are best for oral sex only.

o Can be sticky on the skin and on fabrics.

Warming/Cooling Lubricants

Warming/Cooling lubes are usually water-based and great for foreplay. The warming or cooling sensation stimulates the nerve endings in the penis, nipples, and clitoris. You can control the intensity by rubbing or blowing on the lubricant.


o A two-in-one product: it stimulates and lubricates.

o Water-based versions work with all toys and condoms.

o Can also be used for sensual massage.

o Stops warming/cooling when you stop rubbing or blowing on it.


o Some varieties contain peppermint oil or menthol and can irritate very sensitive skin.

· Experiment with these lubes during foreplay before using them for intercourse.

o Not everyone feels or enjoys the warming/cooling sensations: this is normal.

Anal Lubricants

There are two different types of lube best suited for anal play: thick water-based lubes and silicone lubricants. Silicone is less thick than water-based lubricants, but its molecules protect delicate tissue and provide excellent glide. As an added benefit, silicone is not absorbed by the body so it will be expelled naturally. This means silicone stays slick and it does not need to be reapplied during play.


o Protect your delicate skin while playing.

o Thick silicones are easy to put where you want them and they stay slick for a very long time.

o Thicker water-based lubes are compatible with all toys and feel “cushy.”

o You can use glycerin lubes without fear of yeast infections.


o You will need a lot of lube for anal play – be prepared and go for the bigger size of the lube you want to try.

o Silicone lubricants should never be used with silicone toys.

o Water-based anal lubes will need to be reapplied frequently.

o What goes in must come out – be prepared to clean up later

Massage Oils & Creams

The skin is our largest organ and should never be neglected as a source of pleasure! In order to make the most of erotic and sensual massage, one must use plenty of the right products for the job. You can split massage oils into three main groups: aromatherapy massage oils, edible oils, and warming massage lubricants. Most massage oils are for topical use only and are not meant to be used as sexual lubricants. There are exceptions however. Some products do “double duty” as massage oil and sexual lubricant.


o Everyone loves a nice massage and oils or glides make them more enjoyable.

o Massage oils come in many options – one is sure to fit your needs:

· There are several 2-in-1 massage oil/lubricants to choose from.

· Edible massage oils are great for foreplay.

· Warming oils help relive muscle tension.


o Edible and aromatherapy massage oils should not be used internally. Be sure to wash them off your hands before touching genitals.

o Some oils may stain sheets/fabric.

o Most massage oils cannot be used as lube.

If you’re looking for another way to add some relaxation to your sex, let your lube do double duty with the addition of CBD. Our increasingly popular line of CBD lubes have become some of our best sellers. These products include Go Love CBD Intimate Lubricant, NEO Sensual Original Sin Intimate Glide, and the luxurious High On Love Water-Based 200 Mg CBD Lubricant.

We hope this post has answered all of your questions about lubricant. If you would like to learn more, visit one of our retail locations where our Romance Specialists will be happy to answer any questions that we may not have answered here!

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