How to Give an Erotic Massage

by Former author

November 1, 2021


Setting the Mood

This is critical. For a great massage you have to have a great ambiance. Dim the lighting so there’s a sensual feel to room. If you have bright white lights like LEDs you might want to switch them to an incandescent light or something that gives off a warmer orange-yellowish light so the room doesn’t look like the interrogation room from a cop show.

You could also turn off all the lights can just have a bunch of candles all around, just make sure nothing is within reach of catching fire. On that note, make sure whatever room you’re doing the massage in is clean and de-cluttered. Clutter takes away from the sexiness of the room. Replace the clutter with rose petals.

How does the room smell? Is there a pleasant aroma wafting through the air? Or is the air stale with a stench of dirty clothes? Pheromones are a great and subtle way to enhance the intimacy of the room. Music is also a major plus. Some smooth instrumental music in the background is priceless.

The more senses you can engage and delight without overloading them the better. This is why smooth instrumentals are better than heavy metal scream-o, and why a couple light spritz of pheromone/cologne/perfume (not all three, choose one) are better than creating a fog of it in the air. Maybe you draw a nice warm bath for them and that where the massage starts. Maybe you strip them down before the massage? That’s bound to be super erotic.


After you have set the mood and everything’s ready for the massage to start make sure they’re comfortable. If they don’t start out comfortable then they’re probably never going to be comfortable during the massage unless they adjust later on which can be awkward and break the mood.

First and foremost, make sure you have warm hands, very few people like a cold hand massage, and they’ll tell you if they do, because they’re in a minuscule minority. So small in fact that in all my travels and personal affairs, I’ve only ever met one person who has ever preferred a cold massage.

Use massage oil, lotion, or cream. These are important because they help the massage to go smoother. Your hands glide and rub their skin more effectively with them and they also feel good for both of you. Some of them are edible like the Raspberry Kissable Massage Cream from Shunga so you can have a delicious time while licking it off your lover. Although there’s no oil or extra substances for a head massage. Candles also work well for more than just lighting, like for wax play!

Ask them what they want and what feels good. Maybe they want more shoulder rubbing but you’re focused on their back, or maybe they want your hands on their butt, but you’re massaging their scalp. It’s sexy when they tell you what they like. It builds up the romance and heightens their experience. Also start softer then progressively apply more pressure as they want it.

Here’s one more tip before we get into some techniques. There’s a specific order of body parts to massage for maximum pleasure. You’re going to work from the extremities then go inward. Start with their feet (if they have a foot fetish you might want to save this for later) then go to their hands, next is their head/scalp, on to the neck, shoulders, then the back, and the fun goes into high gear with their butt and finishing off with their breasts (for females of course). Ladies, you could massage your man’s chest whenever the mood strikes.



Press into them with your wrists/palms making semi-circles in opposite directions with each hand. Most time you’ll go between right and left not using both at the same time. It’s kind of like that scene from the Karate Kid when Mr. Miyagi teaches Daniel about wax-on and wax-off. You can also bring your fingers together and move them downward in a circular motion. This is best for the butt and other fleshy areas. Not good for the chest/stomach area.


Bring your fingers together. Relax your hand. Put your other hand on top and continually press down shifting pressure forward and backward. Ideally this applies a good amount of pressure to his muscles so they can fully relax while your first hand acts as buffer.


Place your hands on both shoulder blades, or you can start from the bottom putting your hands on opposite sides. Slowly move them up or down their back with one hand a little behind or ahead of the other. You can also fan out and retract your fingers while applying pressure and moving up/down their back.


It’s time for the thumbs to shine. Shiatsu is pretty easy to learn. So if you want to give your sweetie a hot massage but unsure of your abilities, no fear start here. Place your thumbs where you want to rub and stabilize your hand with the other four fingers. Now rotate or move your thumbs to work out their knots and relax the muscles. You can rub as deep or shallow as they want too!


Probably the simplest technique on our list is compression. You quite literally lay your hands on them and push down, compressing them. From there you can move your hands in any sort of pattern or fold your fingers in and then press down with your knuckles for more pressure. Compression is generally the best to start off with as it loosens the muscles and increases circulation.


This is a simplified form of the Stripping technique mentioned above. Take both your hands and stroke their body as you go top to bottom or side to side just be sure to keep your thumbs parallel. Other than that just keep your palms pressed to their skin and keep going! Stroking is great for breasts/chest & butts


If you want to read more on the topic, then I would recommend Pure Erotic Massage by Nicole Bailey. Also, as wonderful as our hands can be, if you want to take the massage one step further then drizzle a masterpiece on your lover in Shunga’s Body Painting Chocolate then lick it up for a tantalizing time. Or if you want to go more vanilla that’s great too! Last of all after you’ve rubbed them from head to toe, literally, why not give them the cherry on top? Oral sex! And the fun doesn’t have to end there 😉

Love, The Intimacy Advisor

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