Cuddling after sex builds:
- Satisfaction (physical, mental, emotional, & sexual)
- Happiness (literally release oxytocin & dopamine)
- Your feelings for each other
- Their desire to have sex with you again
Of course, if you don’t want any of the above things then don’t cuddle post coitus and stop reading this article. For the rest of you, read on!
In today’s day and age it’s a lot harder for people (in general) to be emotionally open/attached than it is to have sex with someone. This is why after sex cuddling is vital for more sexual, relational, and emotional satisfaction. Not only are you relishing in all the feel good chemicals and hormones released during love making, but you’re physically close and in contact with them. That physical contact does wonders for people mentally and emotionally. It makes them feel loved, valued, desired, and not just used for sex. Post coital cuddling is one of the best ways to show your appreciation for them. Love making DOES NOT end with intercourse.
Time to go back to those bullet points above. A couple of them are self-explanatory or interrelated like intimacy and trust or your feelings for each other and their desire to have sex with you again, but we’ll go over everything again because some people need to take a hint and cuddle their significant other more than what they’re currently doing.
#1 Intimacy – cuddling in general is always good for intimacy because it brings you two closer together physically and emotionally, but especially after sex it solidifies the whole experience and satisfies every area of you as a person.
#2 Satisfaction – Similar to how foreplay increases satisfaction, cuddling as afterplay does the same thing. However, instead of indulging their role play fantasies or slowly turning them on, you’re affirming your love for them and showing how much you care about them. Which then builds intimacy making you both happier and giving you a deeper sense of satisfaction.
#3 Trust – There’s some level of vulnerability to sex. Being naked with your hands all over someone requires some level of vulnerability then throw in whatever you’re doing in the heat of moment and that leaves you pretty open. But the real test comes right afterwards when you’re a lot more conscious of what’s going on around you.
Your hair is all messed up. You’re sweaty. Yours and their limbs are all over the place. You’re both trying to catch your breath. The sheets are all wet. The last thing you might want to do is cuddle up with them, but it is the single most important thing to do. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but the trust continues to be built when you’re conscious of just how naked and bare you are and you choose to lie with them a bit longer.
#4 Respect – There’s an article I saw a while back where someone asked 1,500 couples that had been married 10+ years and were still happy and in love with each other. While the article talked about a lot of things, as it was quite long, it said the vast majority of the 1,500 couples said the #1 reason they’re happy and have a fulfilling, loving relationship was respect. When you intimately trust someone who also satisfies you physically, emotionally, and mentally, it’s easy to respect them. I don’t want to sound like a broken record but, cuddling builds intimacy which leads to satisfaction then trust and at that point, how can you not respect them?
#5 Happiness – I mean who wouldn’t be happy to hold their naked significant other in their arms right after sex? Cuddling also releases the feel good chemicals dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. So it literally makes you happier. Also you’re happier because: you’re more intimate; you’re more satisfied; you trust each other more, and chances are you respect each other more. It’s a recipe for happiness: foreplay + sex + cuddling = happiness.
#6 Your feelings about each other – Part of me doesn’t even want to explain this part because it’s just for the last five reasons. Cuddling can be, and usually is one of the most positive experiences. Just be sure you’re not squeezing them too hard. No one wants a bruised rib or to feel like they’re suffocating. A gentle but firm hold on them stirs up all the positive feelings they have about you and over time that compounds.
#7 Their desire to have sex with you again – When someone feels loved, accepted, and desired, they’re more likely to stay around that person. Then when they have sex and those feelings increase, they won’t to have more sex. Now, when you have sex with someone who loves and accepts you, it’s generally going to be better than a one night stand. When those feelings of truly being loved, accepted, and desired, increase with sex and you cuddle afterwards, they associate the three together. Ultimately they want to fuck you more to keep feeling those feelings. Of course there’s other ways to feel that way by your significant other, but sex and cuddling post coitus are definitely good avenues to get there. We talked about the same thing way back in October of last year in “The Complete Guide to Female Passion & Passion.”
Cuddle after sex, like right after sex when you’re still breathing heavy and everything. Don’t leave the bed (or wherever you’re having sex) hold them close and let them know you love them. Immediately after intercourse let the cuddles begin.