Whether it’s for an amazing masturbation session (or just your average everyday one) or short-notice sex with your partner, sometimes you have to take matters of turning yourself on into your own hands…pun very much intended. Try these tricks to help get you in the mood, whenever the mood may strike.
Let the Sun Shine:
Getting plenty of natural sunlight during the day is not only a good general wellness tip; it can help improve your libido and levels of sexual desire as well. While not exactly a spur-of-the-moment turn-on technique, making sure to get out in the sun every day stimulates your hypothalamus, which regulates everything from our appetites (for food and sex), our moods, and our sleep-wake cycles. In fact, not getting enough natural sun during the day is a huge contributor to the global epidemics of obesity, anxiety disorders, depression, insomnia, and stress! Getting some daily sunshine also helps reduce those stress levels, and feeling relaxed is important when you’re trying to turn yourself on. Make your hypothalamus happy and get outside! Go for a daily walk, take your work breaks outside, run errands with the windows down…whatever you can do to get out in the sun a little every day, do it, and watch your sex drive soar!
Set the Scene:
There’s no reason solo sex shouldn’t be just as luxurious as a romantic couple’s night in. Get ready for (self) love by preparing your space with sensual details to get you in the mood. Create an atmosphere of seduction just for you. Fresh & clean sheets, soft pillows and blankets, dim lighting, and burning beautifully scented candles or incense are all great details to add to your environment to set the mood right for pleasure. Music can be a great help in setting up your space for self-pleasure, too, so make a playlist of all your favorite sexytime songs and play that softly in the background. Make sure you have any toys, lubes, or other pleasure products (a CBD arousal oil, perhaps?) you want to use handy, too, because once you get started, you don’t want to have to stop and fumble through your drawers for the right stuff!
Get Hot, Wet & Steamy:
Taking a hot shower or bath can boost serotonin (the happy hormone) and melatonin (the sleepy hormone), and decreases cortisol (the stressy hormone) to help you relax. All of this helps get you ready to get into bed, whether by yourself or with a partner. Treat shower time as “me time”, spending as much time as you’d like on shaving, gently caressing your intimate parts as you clean them, and just standing and relaxing under the water. You can even use bath time as foreplay for self- or partnered pleasure by introducing a waterproof vibrator, aphrodisiac bath salts, or a nifty gadget that turns your bath’s faucet into a clit stimulator without you having to stick yourself to the wall of the tub to reach it. Taking a pre-pleasure shower or bath has the bonus effect of getting you nice and clean, which can help with the below advice which is…
No, I don’t mean touch yourself…that comes later. ; ) I mean really feel yourself, as in “yas, queen, I am feeling myself today!” Do whatever you need to do to feel sexy and confident in that moment, even if it’s for nobody but yourself. If you have a hard time feeling gorgeous without makeup, do your makeup. Give your hair that super hot post-sex style and volume by tousling your fingers through it. Dress up in sexy lingerie or a comfy, satiny romper, or nothing at all…it’s up to how you most enjoy seeing yourself. Pose in front of the mirror, take some selfies (for yourself, or as a nice surprise for sharing if your partner is away), talk to yourself positively…whatever you need to do to feel amazing and perfectly deserving of all this pleasure you’re about to experience! WERK!
Sip Something Sensual:
Certain beverages can help get us in the mood, and everyone’s choice will be a little different. Treat your self turn-on routine like a little ritual, and make your sexy drink of choice a part of that ritual. Caffeinated drinks can help get you in the mood for pleasure by increasing blood flow. A luscious latte, a simple cup of coffee, or an herbal tea might be just the right warm drink to warm you up. Some alcoholic drinks can also act as libido boosters, as long as you don’t go overboard. A glass of red wine, champagne, or even a fizzy flavored seltzer may help lower stress and anxiety levels so you can focus on relaxing and taking care of yourself. Make sure to drink water after any intense sex or masturbation session…it is a workout, after all, and you need to rehydrate!
Turn Off Your Phone:
Unless you’re using it to watch porn on as part of your self-stimulation routine (which is a perfectly fine and valid way to do it, and I suppose a bonus 8th idea here!), shut off that phone and leave it far away from you. You want to stay in the present moment when you’re gearing up for pleasure, and technology frequently interferes with that. It can be hard to resist the urge to respond to incoming messages immediately or doomscroll your socials for hours; not having the temptation will help you focus on getting in a pleasure mindset so you can start looking forward to all the good things to come.
Go to Fantasy Land:
Fantasizing and visualizing are the most common ways to really rev oneself up for pleasure. Sex and sexual pleasure are natural human needs, humans are visual creatures, and sexual desire can strike at any time. The moment it does, especially if you don’t have a lover present to help you fulfill your desires, start picturing your ultimate sexual fantasies in your mind’s eye. You may picture a certain person that you’re with, but try to picture yourself and what you look like in that space, as well as the sensory details of your fantasy setting. Where are you? What does it smell like, sound like, and what do the surfaces you’re about to roll all over feel like? Feel free to respond out loud to anything said or asked by your partner in your fantasy scenario. Some folks need a little assistance with fantasizing or visualizing, and may take inspiration from steamy romance novels, erotic stories, or by watching porn. Those ideas you get from media will stay in your memory and can be developed further for other sensual visualizations. You’ll find that, with practice, the fantasies and imagery you create in your head can help turn you on just as powerfully as a flesh & blood sexual interaction.