Stiff Competition: Varieties of Dildos Vying for your Attention

by Erica G.

November 19, 2021


Strap-ons and Glass Wands and Double Dongs, Oh My!

Over 10,000 years ago, humanity began to settle into permanent dwellings and become less of a hunter-gatherer society and more agrarian. This led to population booms, with a current estimate of close to 8 billion people covering the globe. This two-sentence history lesson of humankind probably has you wondering how it’s even relevant in a post about dildos. Well, because the history of dildos may go even further back than ten thousand years –there have been discoveries of penis-shaped stone and wood carvings that carbon date back to nearly 30,000 years ago! So, from before recorded history, people have ingeniously been figuring out ways to get off! Of course, with no written testimony as to the exact use of these artifacts, we cannot verify that these phallic-shaped objects were really used for sex but let’s take some liberties and just go with this: humanity is horny!

Fast forward to today, where there are so many options available when you need to get off. Dildos may seem like a very basic sex toy at the surface level, but there are so many different types and features to them if you look a little deeper. Let’s focus on some of the most common styles of dildos, what features separate them from other kinds (as well as what overlaps), and what may be best for bringing you and your inner cavewoman/man penetrative pleasure for the ages!

As with all toys I am including this disclaimer– don’t get too turned on and forget that you need plenty of lube to go with your dildo for the best experience! Grab your favorite water-based lube and make that toy nice and wet before play begins!

Keepin’ it Real(istic)

Realistic dildos are quite self-explanatory. They look and feel just like a human penis, but come in a variety of sizes, including different lengths, girth, colors, and rigidity. Some are meticulously detailed, including veins, curves, different shaped heads and shafts. Quite a few even feature testicles that can stimulate your ass or clitoris during penetration. Most realistic dildos are made from silicone and feature a shaft that is flexible enough to curve and bend once inside your body. Some beginners may be intimidated by the size of some dildos, but there are sizes in the goldilocks zone for most sexual appetites. A lot of dildos must be manipulated manually, but if you want to just ride to your heart’s content, there is also the option of…

Suction Cup Bases

Dildo manufacturers know that there is a desire for realistic sex motions while using a realistic dildo. Simply adding a suction cup base makes a sturdy dildo easy to get on top of and grind away! Plus, it can help you control the depth of how far you want to insert the dildo, while keeping your hands free to do other titillating things. Just secure your suction cup base dildo to any smooth and flat surface, including most walls, floors, and even shower walls or bathtubs! Test out your desired surface by slapping your dildo on it to see if it will stay in place while you get off. It’s all about that base!

Fantasy Phalluses

For those who want something on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from realistic dildos, enter the somewhat new “Fantasy” category of insertable delights. Modern materials sciences have allowed manufacturers to make dildos that look & feel like…well…pretty much whatever you like. Why be confined to a cock shape if the latest hentai you watched made you really want to try a (super smooth platinum silicone) tentacle? Not turned on by the classic skin finish? How about glowing or glittery? OK with real dicks, but want yours to do things a real one can’t? An inflatable dildo or size-queen worthy posable one might be the perfect fit. If you’re into electrosex, there’s even a dangerous-looking Komodo dildo you can hook up to an Electrastim machine to add a little zappy tingle to your mingle! Tickle your fancy with any number of fantasy dildos!  

Dongs can dance, too!

Why not combine your basic penetration with some bonus vibration? Extra stimulation can lead to more or bigger body shaking orgasms, so let’s get vibing! No one likes to be left out of the party, so give your clitoris & g-spot some extra buzz and let your dildo please as much of your genitals as possible. Typically, vibrating dildos technically fall into the ‘vibrator’ category, but if they’re vaguely penis-shaped and go inside you, we still count them as dildos! They can be realistic, but they also come in less phallic shapes. If you want to double down on realism AND add a vibrator, make a copy of your favorite cock with the Clone-a-Willy kit so you can get down even if your lover is across town. Some vibrating dils also feature cute little bunny ears or other external vibrating parts to tickle your clitoris or anus while using, and most allow you to control the level & pattern of vibration. Good vibes only! You’re dildo-ing great!


So, you have seen the squishier side of dildos. Let’s get into something a little harder- glass dildos. Shiny objects that provide pleasure, these glass toys hearken back to the stone age dildos mentioned above – solid, weighty, but with a bit more thought put about hygiene and pleasure. With a solid body, glass dildos are typically one-piece toys that are shaped to hit pleasure spots – think g-spot for women or p-spot for men. Glass dildos are hypoallergenic, and unlike silicone toys, they go great with silicone or water based lubes. Glass also is amazing for temperature play! Warm up your toy in water and it will hold the warmer temp, or dip it in some ice cold water and feel the chill while using! Be sure to inspect glass dildos before every use, and make sure to treat them gently. Though it will not break during regular play, if it is dropped or stored somewhere where it may bounce around or hit other solid objects it may chip or break.

Perfect for Pegging

Solo fun with dildos can be amazing, but what if you want to include someone else on your sexual journey? Consider strap-on dildos for fun with a partner, also known as pegging. Strap-on dildos are typically attached to a harness and used for penetration of a partner. Though this is a pretty broad description, there are plenty of other options when it comes to strapping a dildo in place, including a plug that fits into a vagina, or a hollowed out extension style that you can insert a penis into. Strap-on toys and pegging could make up their own post, but for now, just know that they are a fun option for simultaneous stimulation with a partner. There are even universal harnesses that include different sized rings to hold different sized dildos in place. If you want future options of which dildo to use in one unit, this might be the way to go!

Double the Fun

Strap-ons aren’t the only option when you want to have a party for two. Some dildos offer two sides that are designed for penetration of two orifices at once. Typically referred to as a ‘double dildo’ or ‘double dong’, these can be used to penetrate both partners at the same time. You can even label some strap-ons as ‘doubles’ while still being a strap on, because they provide pleasure for both partners. Double dongs can do double duty and be realistic, vibrating, and made of glass as well. If double penetration is more your thing during your fun for one, lots of dildos and vibes are starting to offer parts to fill two of your holes at once! As more people are becoming educated about blended orgasms and trigasms, you can bet you’ll see more of these shocker-shaped DP dildos and vibes.

By no means is this a comprehensive list of all the types of dildos available out there, but this little “Dildos 101” lesson should be more than enough to get you started on finding a fun new path toward pleasure. Take the time to do more research, check out the recommended products while reading, and find something exciting to spice up your sex life!

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